It's a terrible day for me. So it would also a angsy post ahead.
My mood changed terribly fast. In the morning, I was all well in sch, my pm was still 'I like the morning' and also playing msn games with friends.
But I didn't what gotten into me afterward that I feel DOWN, really down.
I guess I'm overly skeptical about everything today. I know it's just some terribly small matters. Not even worth mentioning these. But I hate it, really hate it that when someone else tried intruding my privacy. Oh wait, did they, in the first place?
First come a request to burn cd on my laptop, then a request to check email, then a request to view examtimetable, then a request to borrow my ipod then a request this...then a request that...
Im...totally..PISSED
Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I know that I can't be THIS selfish and be pissed that easily in such little things. I hate myself for doing so either. But I just keep on thinking that people might be peeking at my chat convos, reading my email, accessing this blog, opening my folders, stealing my notes... I valued privacy, personal space, a lot. But I guess it's just me being too sensitive. No people do that. Right?

Most importantly, I can't pull a face in front of human. Not a virgo trait. I'm used of hiding all my emotion so well within me already. No one can tell. Not even a one. Insensitive creatures.
And people just took you for granted. Took ME for granted, as a fool who accept everything, good or bad, that comes along. I don't show the unwillingness in me and all these accumulate deep down in me. I bear grudge.

Perhaps life is too much hectic for me these few days or that I enjoyed myself too much in the past. Or that I got too much consideration to make AFTER my relationship with classmates got better on. Projects are seriously killing me. Its never ending.
1 S&W, 1 Marketing, 1 finance, 2 ICT, 1 Business Law, 1 Jap
all waiting to be due in the coming few weeks.
And I keep on thinking that everyone relied too much on me already. Yes, I THINK I can't take it more. Everyone is like WAITING for me to complete my work first. There's still more projects coming up, especially the ICT project which I inevitably had to help.

I can't take up 20/55 report write-up in the 6 person mktmgt grp project. Just too much on my part already. And I DON'T get it when your say, "you no need to do business law liao, we help you find already, you do more on the Marketing then..."
WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF

DONT RUSH ME. I hate to be rush because I HAD more discipline than anyone else. Don't ask me to do this, don't ask me to do that. Even so, TELL me nicely. I work by my tempo. Teamwork is just not ME.

sorry, sorry, sorry,
because the main problem IS me. Just me..having some serious characters problem within myself.. I'm helplessly about that too...I can only released all the frustration and anger in me ON myself. Who knows exactly how many times I thumped my knuckles on the wall or onto the bottom of the table in class today already. Or how much tempted I was to send my keys flying toward the glass door everytime I reached gate to home, or simply just smash the mirror everything I got angry with myself...
TKD was an excuse. I jolly well know why the bruises never cleared off...

Oh well, guess I just too tired recently. And I keep on wondering why I refused to set this blog private despite some of the contents that shouldn't be seen in the first place at all. Or that my blog can be traced very EASILY.
well, because I blogged with my own conscious.
I use to keep a blog on wretchcc but ended up locking almost all the posts because most of the contents shouldn't be seen by some. What's the use?
I'm clear of everything that I wrote. It's MY thoughts. All blogging and writing online is like the only place where I need no put on a facade to anything more. I hate hiding myself, too perfectly..i think..

once again, sorry for the angsty contents. It's not something that I would write also, ocasionally.
I woke up to a nap, feeling much better already.