What a day.
well so this gonna be a solemn post ahead.

Well, I've never experienced death of my kins or loved ones in my whole life. But I guess I should be mentally prepared soon actually for such things to happen anytime.

It all started from last night, at around midnight. Where our family received a call from my uncle. Was informed that my grandma was sent to the hospital then. She have been ill for the past few days and that her health have been failing for the past few yrs. For someone who had lived 85 years already, I should have somehow expected this to happen already.

I visited my grandma not long before. Well, actually just like 2days ago. She's weak, fragile. Can't even talk and eat properly. But at least she still up to acknowledge my presence and whisper a few words to me. I didn't do much, and just stayed in the house while my mum and my uncles came to look after her.

It was only until yesterday night that they all began to realise the seriousness of her condition. They finally called for her to be admitted to the emergency ward. My grandma is actually suffering a heart and respiratory failure at the point of time. My parents rushed down to the hospital at midnight soon after while I stayed at home.

My house phone just keep on ringing and ringing since then. Relatives started calling in. I practically panicked when I couldn't reach for the phone in the dark living room when the first call came in. Phew, not news LUCKILY.

I'm feeling less than anxiety but still trying to calm myself down by keeping myself loaded for the next 3hrs. My parent returned at around 3am. Was told that grandma condition is rather serious now and the next 48hrs are critical. She could have just died at home if we didn't reached for the hospital or that reached late for a 1-2hrs. Just leave, gone...and pass away.

I went to bed then as I tried to recall all the fading memories of my grandma. such as the moment when I realised I grew taller than her and when I feed my grandma when she fell ill., or time when she tries to stuff some money to me I went to visit her and I brought her hers favourite MacDonald's fillet or ice cream to eat.
or me that kid with a foul mouth that threaten to send her to the old folk home because I hate to share my bedroom when she came for a stay over. And she remembered this incident till date as i chuckled away. Or at time when I can't stand her nonsensical whining and went to record her 'speech' down for my mother. well well...

My memories with grandma isn't exactly much but these still hold some importance to me after all. Regrets for that I always I thought I could be a better family member and a granddaughter still...

Woke at 9+am today. Was informed that my grandma condition gets better. Then my mum started telling me about my uncles and how their refusal to send her to the hospital few day. Am semi-fuming with their or even my mother incapability's to do something to save my grandma's life. She was telling me how all my uncles THOUGHT that grandma would get better by taking in medicine, or that she perfers to die by the bed instead of in the hospital. It was when my uncle, the one and only living by my grandma, brought his girlfriend up the house and she reckoned that grandma MUST be send to hospital quick. and luckily for her so, if not grandma would be gone already.

my grandma had 10 children , not one or two. But not even one want or can do anything for her, to keep her living on. They were waiting and waiting for one another decisions. She can't wait that long. Somehow consideration is the most foolish thing to do. She could be saved, so why not?

Shall visit grandma later on and may she gets better.