l0st iin My w0rld

2009-07-11T20:58:00.002+08:00

haaaaaa. i just realised im posting in a ditch blog. Find my new blog if your can ((=

oh well, whatever.

2009-07-11T20:52:00.002+08:00

SP and HRM is down.

Presentation on Mon for SP and roleplay for HRM on Tues. OSEP final interview on mon (i dread the aftermath)

Mr Tan already send me tons of information on Germany study =(((( it's damn scary.

JHkim not yet replying. nvm...i pester them on 31 Jul.

next is IB test on 15.

then WHP & coaching (OMG, major major undone project)

following IB & NSA (bigger undone project)

killing me.....................

2009-02-21T23:05:00.002+08:00

WHP. Workplace Health Promotion. I grew on procastinating. I'm suppose to show everything by mon, but I decide not to do a single bit on a free sat. So yea...probably expect me to be on the comp the whole day on SUN, which is tmr and work like a mad cow then =(

because the whole event would be on this coming fri, 27th.

well, WHP isnt exactly my type of event. sighs... luckily my partner seems enthu about it. Stupid FSRC... why did they wanted a workout? =(

and my first ever match TOC is just only 8days away! I couldn't exactly describe how I feel after knowing that my opponent is actually a Raider, (mdn pohling and sir polo's club) Not too much of the skills that matters since I dunno her standard...but infact, was how well Sirs and Mdn coached and knew her for much longer period of time than me. It just don't feel right for sirs/mdn to teach the student to beat the trainee of their own club right? But well, just poor luck that we were drawn tgt in the first round, and someone isn't gonna walk away with a medal.

Of course I'd never doubt the professionality of my sir and mdn. and But if Sir & Mdn totally, with 100% wishing that I would be winning that match... As I said before, I really don't want to lose. It was out of question, even after knowing that the opponent and me shared the same coaches.

I'm looking forward to after TOC... time for me to concentrate in gym attachment. I probably neglected it for the whole week long already.

I will START arranging PFA, PT for my client and I really need stop using TOC as an excuse of maintaining my weight. its a nice way of saying *winks* haha

2009-02-16T23:17:00.002+08:00

So well... life's pretty full now.

EPM was a blast and its officially over alr. I total up the total pages of reports I did for EPM and it a whooping 50pages!!!

Freaky. I didn't even know how did I manage that 50pages in the first place where I had like school from mon-sun.

Thanks Mr James Wong for torturing us, like seriously. Ironically, I appreciate it when people pushed me hard on. James Wong was definitely the different one and special one who did so. I sincerely thk him from the bottom of my heart for that past 2 mths. I guess I probably learnt many stuffs under EPM. The pushing from EPM allows me to see how much more potential I have and how many weakness which I had yet to cover up for.

As I submit all the reports already, this was really once that I hope to get a decent grade. Because I really put in my most efforts into it. but everyone in the class probably do. really really... I wanted to get an A or GPA above 3 badly this time round. Anything below that, i would just....i don't know, like seriously.

The line of betrayal doesn't really sounds good, isn't so? My peer evaluation sheet was full of comments anyway. Well well, behind all the teamwork during the events, was infact a tactician's game on the reports. Ok, I'll see if the game will work in my way at the end of the day.

It's time for me to sleep, I had gym afternoon shift tmr, and every single day from now onwards. I talk about gymming next time. Doesn't get as bored as what I thought would be since there were like so many equipments for us to play with. haha... the machines are addictive and the results were *thumbs up* XD

I decide to increase my frequency in TKD training frm 2 times to 5 times per week. TOC is really near. Balloting results was out already. sway sway got to fight for another round with a np girl. gt 5 fighters and only 4 gt medals... I can't afford to lose and get kick out in the first round. That's an understatement still.

the result of unpaid efforts is devastating. As much as I try to keep myself positive, there's a possibility of such happening, still.

2009-02-13T02:36:00.002+08:00

6193 words, 14pages, 236am- all in 1 day.

I regretted procastinating =(

proposal
aar
personal event
overall event summary
personal selling report
peer evaluation

I completed all finally. EPM GOODBYE.

2009-02-02T16:14:00.002+08:00

Lazy ard.

My daily routine is like a pig's life. Woke up at 9-10am, breakfast, write some paragraphs for my report, lunch, continue writing while doing a lot of shits like watching a video or 2 at the same time, read something, got myself tired out and had a very nice afternoon nap, woke up and the same things continue until the night.

and I have been eating crappy lot ever since the CNY. I looked out of my window everyday I woke up and stare at the empty huge swimming pool outdoor. and everyday I told myself, its so empty that I shall go down for a swim ltr in the day. But well...apparently I totally prefer sleeping so much more than going to the gym to workout or getting a swim.

what's more freaky? I'm doing PFA in less than 2 week??!? PFA (physical Fitness Assessment) means complete measuring of like, ur FATS CONTENT in your body. and there's no way for u hide or avoid the sensitive fat issue. Pure, real, solid statistic infront for you. see, how gross that test can be. As much I'm bothered by this (abit), I'm too lazy to do anything as of yet. I still enjoy feeding myself to all the food in the house.

A final thing which I want to rant is how I didn't still hand in my AAR and had it approved yet! Worst part, I gotta submit proposal, personal selling report, AAR, personal event summary, peer evaluation. All in hardcopy on this coming thurs.

But really, I don't feel the rush to complete it. I thought I have plenty of time, which exactly shouldn't be in this way. See, I still have the cheek to blog here despite the running time :/

I'm not busy now, infact, very very bored.

Someone please kill this lazy pig.

2009-01-28T21:33:00.002+08:00

I'm clearing OFF like nobodys' business now!

Came up here to express my joy after I saw the email Nathan sent. It's like... I'm suppose to work on an overdue report for my event and submit TMR. (because i'm 95% certain that James Wong will come to me with that TMD sarcastic looking face, "huiying ur event is over by 2 weeks already! So when are u giving me the AAR and peer evaluation??" )

BUT WELL...

Clear leave=No school= No James Wong= No rush for report! XDXDXD

My event was over by like 12days and I haven't get out a single thing out. (supposingly to submit within 7days) Not to mention that filled with arrows peer evaluation which I haven't been sending in since week 3 onward.

Okok, the fact is that I really don't procastinate as much as it seems to be. Yeah, not as much. Because... my genius acer laptop broke down again! Precisely! When it's so vulnerable, what can I?

The fragile piece broke down so frequent that even my dad gave up on it. I wanted to had it repaired but Dad insisted not. (rarity of 99%) Instead, he decide to buy me a new replacement! So, goodbye my 1 and 1/2 yr old acer dead warrior, after being thru so much with me. (almost every parts was repaired before=.=)

The short-lived battery which eventually depleted to 15mins, the motherboard for the charger which eventually gt repaired after 3 weeks of hard tapeing. the flicking screen which gt repaired under warrenty, the heat generated that I best enjoyed in a cold tutorial room, the non-functioning usb plug even before I on the comp, 3 mouses expired under it. the spoil headphone plug and SDcard reader which I can be further bothered anymore. Not forgetting the unglam big crack on the laptop side because i dropped it onto a toilet floor. 3 damn times of rebooting but I never learnt the importance of backing up data as regular as my laptop break down.

the non-functioning screen on last wed evening was the last call, the last moment was on msn where I move the cursor and the screen turn into many colorful lines...the end.

It's dead. my acer, R.I.P

So I got a Hp Pavilion dv4 now. Something which my Dad is finally agreed of. I'm enjoying myself using it so far...with some really pretty functions which I have yet get use to it. Although I need the laptop urgently to do my report and pass up to James Wong, I ended up spending too much time exploring the new functions ard instead. It was somemore an tempting entertainment notebook!

I can't do the AAR without a new laptop before. I can't be bothered with AAR with a new laptop now.

anyway, I'll see James on Fri still. That's all isn't so :p

I'm having off next mon-thurs also. 7/8 Sat & Sun would be 2 more events and that the end!

It's really fast coming to an end isn't so? The previous 10 days horror was OVER. and I didn't know how I got over it too. Probably I even enjoy it. (crazy~)

5th- first day my table tennis IVP event, stayed back till 9pm

6th-suppose to be TKD night. But I didn't trust the team on duty that day. I ended up running back and forth between my event and training on that night(sounds real stupid anyway). Stayed up the night to do accounting for my $800+ personal selling items too. (it killed me seriously.)

7th- Sathish's Captain Ball tournament, same time when my event was held.

8th & 9th- NYP OpenHouse (sue event). Also went to AWWA on the 8th

10th- SAFRA Hot and Breathless at sentosa. and that infamous Bacardi drink drunk during the event. Burnt totally.

11th- SAFRA Adventura Race. Waking up at 3am for reporting at dairyfarm. worked for 13hrs straight

12th- My own table tennis event

13th- tkd match @ tp. Memorable bus accident and unforgettable incident of nosebleeding

14th- zehan's women soccer event. Girl powers of carrying the goal post. Still gotta look after my baby event still=.=

15th- personal selling collection date! 3 cartons of goods worth $858.70. Had super nice classmates helping me if not i die from queuing up or carrying the goods back.

Urgently left my event because my dad didn't got my message and he's there to pick up me and my goods. So yes, Not attending the last day of ur event, going thru the prize presentation and clearing up. everything is just totally wasted after I endured 6days of hardship. I just feel bad the whole day... The fact is that I'm suppose to feel extremely good after 7days is over

A pity that I wasn't there as the I/C to conclude everything. It's just feel the whole thing never existed :/

2009-01-01T00:15:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2008-12-26T22:53:00.002+08:00

What's wrong with your? (laughs weakly)

I couldn't help but feel that your are seriously, a) too dumb, b) blinded being together. So much so that your lost your intelligence. Don't get so carried away and miss the whole picture instead. I don't mind if your can't see in the micro level, that's okay for me. But the thing is your totally miss the point.

Yes, repeatly we are so great. Yes, we are that good. Don't you feel retarded? The real intellect don't utter a single word to a stupid person. Never shoot yourself down.

Brainless. That's the word. Brainless joke, brainless fun, brainless discussion, brainless doings.

It was a really silly joke of your to me. How dumb can that be?

It just shows that we don't think on the same level, and I'm secretly glad that I don't.

2008-12-18T22:55:00.002+08:00

My mood being so good here because I got to return home early. HAHAHA.

after like 1 week and 2 days, I finally got a break in classroom to slack and play facebook games

after like 1 week and 3 days, I finally got a chance to reach home @ 6.30pm

after like 1 week and 4 days, I finally got to sleep till 9am and woke up to report at AWWA @1030

after like 1 week and 5 days, I finally got to do the first outdoor event and I only report straight to Tampines SAFRA @ 4pm instead

It's like the best news for 1 week and 5days!!! I'll be at Tampines SAFRA doing this Coerver 5V5 Festival for my weekend. Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon.

Lets hope that everything went well and I have fun there then

2008-12-08T21:21:00.002+08:00

It's the start of EPM tmr. So I spent my final weekend out to prepare for school start

got a haircut, returned my library books, bought 2 pair of shorts, gt sp70 sunblock (i actually wanted e 130 one! XP) , gt muscle rub too, had my timbuk2 bag washed...hmm, what else???

sleep early!

I don't have much interesting to share currently. Shall return with loads again next time (=

2008-12-02T22:38:00.003+08:00

have been doing a bit of everything here and there and around

yupx, and that's how a hols suppose to be! EPM is nearing with 7 days to go

and at the same time, I've decide to give it a go for IVP sparring! I don't know how much chances would I have or is joining the competition worth it or not for the effort and time spent on it...well, still, I decide to try. No matter how unbearable this whole period of time it would be.

So my whole life frm 8 Dec- 8Feb onwards will go on like that:

weekdays: 9am-530pm (every mon, tues, fri staying back for training till10pm)

weekend: 24hrs on standby (actually more like working 24hrs non-stop man T.T)

it's SW, TKD, SW, TKD, SW, TKD! my whole life practically revolve ard these.

(actually i could have just gave up for TKD for the time being, I would not need to go for grading and because i really can't join this time round since it fall on a weekend. I will the choose not to go for training for that 2mths, and glading pass my post to others since AGM is coming. Look, life would be much easier if I get to go home at 530 every single day! I would have much more rest to prepare for crazy weekend! but unfortunately such thoughts didn't ran through my mind until I started to rant and complain, there's wasn't such option in the first place... I guess I was just beam to endure pass all)

So yes... I choose another way out instead. It's self-torturing isn't so? haha

1st sparring training today. Didn't wear the guards and my limbs ended in all bumps in the aftermath. Didn't feel any pain though. Am I immune already? But if I could feel the pain, it must a deadly hard blow. and its end of it already! haha

my top wishlist for christmas. Actually I don't get to spend it because Im working then. But still... i'm in that mood alr~ hehe

1) SUN BLOCK

2) MUSCLE RUB

resolution: I don't get exposed to Sun during EPM and I don't suffer any injuries in sparring XDXDXD

(** oh you. just shut up and tell it WILL BE FULFILLED. muhahaha)

actually I'm mentally prepared la. Just gonna stop ranting and scared myself (and others too). But well...Im just gonna continue sprouting nonsense on this blog because I'll miss coming on to write soon with such packed schedule.

2008-11-21T20:26:00.002+08:00

Hols? what hols?

I'm more tired and deadbeat than schooling time manx. I can't actually remembered what happened this few days...2 days of meetings, 1 day of conference, 1 day of running. That's how my weekdays passed:

Tues is supposed to be training day but ended up having meeting with some IT experts about constructing TKD website. (again, goes my motto "i do".) Also don't wanna train in the end since it was damn late.

Wed is campus road run. Was raining cats and dogs before the race then i think charlene club did some ritual and the rain really went off sooner! WOW~ and we were spared off running in the rain then. I can't believe the 4.8km ard sch can be so damn shack. They made us run some many slopes and I just walk at every slope because my legs really no strength to continue liao. Now i really feel the difference between gym running and outdoor running. and expected.... was damn slow and completed the race in exactly 35mins. which is like damn off compared to the few previous times..but tkd girls damn strong la, guys all cui. haha. I got severe lactic acid built up after the race. =(

Thurs. My BTT in the noon. I PASSED! Was prepared to fail alr because I got no time to study.. but I choinged my way through the night, keep on doing the online questions. Being a 1st-timer for the test, I dunno how to press the LCD screen then keep on banging my finger on it. LOL! I raised my hand and tell the person there that the screen is unresponsive! She showed my the correct way, which is just lightly tapping the screen with the nail! damn paiseh la. nvm..I PASSED. Went Northpoint to see how much it's changed.. wow, looks pretty good! (argh, i still wish I was living there in fact) borrowed a few books from library. headed back to NYP to have meeting with Sir Weiliang. Much constructive this time round. but meetings are sooo much time consuming. Got home at only 10pm. I don't see why the committee wanna have some many meetings lately=.= no matter what, i still feel its so useless at the end of the day when there's no changes made.

Fri. BEST LA. Conference talk at Crowne Hotel in changi terminal 3. Take it that I don't know how to appreciate how valuable this opportunity comes by, with all the foreign prof giving the presentation..but seriously, this is damn boring!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_mMrsz6_RDuU/SSaF6Med8MI/AAAAAAAAHBw/YBsopEWL0PI/s1600-h/5.jpg

almost all SW students were sleepin in the back. Had lunch at popeye with classmate. A rare opportunity to gather with EPM mates. Went to PS later for a walk. I collected my phone back too.. got home

i shall end here. Im deadbeat to talk any further on. sighs

2008-11-17T13:48:00.002+08:00

back from Camp Diamond!

how was it? I guess it was a good mixture of fun and tough? I was placed in grp 3. We named ourselves ' Ang Dao Teng' aka 'red bean soup' (dont ask me why it is so lame, lols) Anyway, I knew none of the ppl in my grp in the first place but they were all fun ppl throughout the journey! Jeremy was our facilitator, jinglong, martin, derrick, jovin, terrence, jay, shawn, nissa, suetmei, charlene, wings (who gt the same name as me too) were in the same team with me.... and so, the 2 nights and 2 days begins! I try to write down as many interesting part of the camp that I can remember so far (=

1st-15km nighttrail

seriously, I don't how I ever completed that in the first place! WE WALKED ALL THE WAY FROM ECP TO CHANGI BEACH! Started on Fri night at ard 12am and reached ard 6am finally...we just keep on walking and walking with our backpack over a distance of 15km++ with 4-5 stopovers to complete some obstacles. Though I carried the largest backpack, it's was the gangs who had to put the heavier drinks into their bags, (mine was all bread..hehe) My team is like...horribly fast! Our walking is more like running, overtook a team which left like 15mins earlier than us, (that is how fast we were) In the never ending route, the team just keep on munching on breads and sweets in order to keep our awake and alive too. Halfway through, Jovin gt gastric, so the team slowed down and we walked tgt. Finally we completed the race as the 2nd place (=

2nd- kayaking

I didnt went! LMAO! Beacuse my rashes broke out after i completed the night trail. (in case u're wondering, I will have rashes after my body generate excessive heat/sweat... or simply, being out in the sun will cause rashes) so i stayed in the shade with cath and a few SU ppl and had a little nap while the rest went off to kayak. LOLS! it's nt my intention to slack :p But kinda regret ltr for not going because Kayak sounds so fun and there no sun infact! Still... i appreciate I gt the 2-3hrs nap. The later half, we were asked to help set up the 'spider webs' with the SU. There's freaking tons of giant red ants on the tree! We were like building expressway for the ants to move frm one tree to another...horribly yucks. But the moment I entered the area, my sensitive skin develop rashes again and we left the guys to play with the spiderweb themselves..hehe.

3rd- Campfire

Was in Dairy Farm to conduct this. Ages since I had a campfire! But before that, we gotta cook our own food using mass tin. We had spaghetti that tastes horrible anyway... our spaghetti sauce were mixed with Colgate! Double yucks. anyway, campfire was a blast because everyone in the camp were damn on. Was asked to out do a dance in the campfire.. damn paiseh=.= but still quite fun. Learnt alot of new cheers which we plan to plagarise into the TKD version. HAHAHA.

4th- Games & water activities

like all other camp, we had the usual games like the toothpaste passing, water bombs etc. the mass water was like damn OMG. Before the game started, I was stoning while the ICs were explaining the rules. Then Nic and Cath played cheat, went behind me and 2 water bombs down my head! During the game, Nic cheated again..he took the bucket and half pail is over me. During the phototaking at the end, then the game ICs suddenly spray water in the back...before we could react, suddenly kena 1 whole big pill in the front! I was like in the front and center of the when the water is poured somemore manx=.= Drenched from the head to toes after everything. Well, that was the last activities of the camp anyway.

Food

Food throughout camp was horrible anyway. Had been munching on bread and more bread! not forgetting our colgate spaghetti dinner too. But cabbed down to pizza hut with Nic, cath, alex & linlin after break camp to have our lunch. (=

Bath

damn suay, 1st time, I was Q-ing for someone who spent 1/2hr to bath in the camp and the water was damn small too. There gone my precious sleeping time. 2nd time, i bathed at 1am. damn cold and water was too big, no hook to hang my stuff too. and for the 3rd time, which is after gettng all wet frm water activities... I decide not to bath. bleah.

Sleep

I doubt I had any proper rest in the camp in the 1st place with such packed schedule and i spent the most time sleeping on the roadside/bus/bench more than anything else. I probably only slept for a total of 7 hrs++ throughout the whole camp. Night was damn cold but I learnt my lesson in the previous camp. So.. my night attire were jacket, shorts with another trackpant over, eye mask, (but i forget my sock) and zipped myself up in the sleeping bag! LMAO. Even woke up the middle to switch off the dorm fan...hehe, paiseh ah XP

After returning home, I slept all the way frm 6pm-10am the next day. 16 straight hrs...damn shiok. That's exactly how tired I was.

So yes, Im back now to face the reality. The life with a comp completely wipeout and sooner, a hp with mass wipeout too. I haven't got back my hp frm the service center though. So my life here is basically without communication. and there's some many things i wanna do but cannot do.

2008-11-13T23:36:00.002+08:00

Ok, so I got my comp reformatted and everything is gone! Would most probably send my HP for repair tmr afternoon. Well, I guess it's pretty useless for me to rant how pissed i was on how BOTH my hp and comp broke down the moment I completed everything. (but, thankfully...they broke down only when i completed everything =.= (It can't be a better time in fact especially when I would be in a camp for the next day)

duh, my post here is not a rant but im gonna talk about setbacks. Occurs to me after attending SW Bonding Day yesterday... so, what was it? It's actually a day activity organised by our class epm students for all the year1-year 3 SW students. So it's not really a large, but neither small group to cater to. What happen was, it RAINED. So heavy that none of the outdoor sport activities can be conducted. For all the hardwork prepared into organising the event...it just had to be destroyed by the stinky weather =(

I just feel like crying for them instantly. Put in like so much but nothing is even excuted. All the pre-preparation for weeks just came to a waste. Could really see everyone was trying hard to conceal their disappointment, especially the moment when Mr James Wong spoke to us. Anyway, Philip, u're seriously great man! He didn't let his emotion gets him away and continue to lead the contigency activities for us. He's really impressive for all of us around when things like that happened. SW-EPM, I learned something from your the day! (=

I guess I'm the sort who can't take setbacks well either. Because I will put all my hardwork into planning and certain that the returns would be proportionate to what i put in also. But well.. some unforeseenable circumstance just occurs and some things are just not within my control. I doubt there's any major 'efforts-wastage' that occurs in my life so far, and in case it does happen...I'll remember SW-EPM as an example and stay strong and take the setback positively. I can cry all I want at the back, but never to show that I'm affected infront. At least, look strong. That sounds pretty much like my personality too? :/

Yes, counting down... there's only 3 short weeks left before the official starts of my EPM. EPM mates are scaring me with all their crazy schedules, the 25hrs non sleep, sunburing, 30km midnight cycling, drench in the rain... everything just get tougher and tougher every week. and I'm here, trying my best to prepare myself mentally for all these for the next 9weeks. I'll definitely rants about how inhumanly it gonna be..but at the end of the day, I wanna say, 'I'm learning.'

I shall bring the green bandage along which I got on the SW day to the Camp Diamond and remind myself to be strong. This is probably the first leadership I'm attending! and I gt a hard feeling that it gonna be tough... I think their 1st required item of 2L water would be 'trick' to taekan everyone because they bring 1.5L only. (and Im gonna willfully bring the 1.5L instead of 2L=.=) haha, I'll blog about it when I come back then. CYA!

2008-11-11T11:22:00.004+08:00

finally... i can sit down have a proper rest.
was rushing practically every single day ever since Tues?
It's TKD, project, TKD, project!

TKD is a big piece of shitty business. and I'm there, trying my best to fix it within my limit, doing the best I could as a secretary. But the members are simply un-cooperative!
I'm practically BEGGING for people to participate in the Camp Diamond. (they dont see how prestige this leadership is) What's wrong? I realised there nth wrong with those ppl but instead it's the club! which went horrible wrong from the head to toes. Well, I'm gonna do something outside my job scope, so that I can't save myself my time and energy in the future.

Monday time rush. Since Sunday night, I was struggling to install my brother's printing because mine ran out of ink (im the one printing the final report for both PM and CS) then I gt an additional task burn cd for the project because someone in my grp can't do so... Goodness, I don't even have the time to check my email for the past 2 days k! Finally checked out the script and ppt for presentation the next day...then I prepare for it
Monday morning was the best. Angela called me up... she's late or something and ask me to take taxi with her. I gt a shock when my clock reads, 730am! But I get my parents, who were off to genting to fetch both me and angela to sch...but due to both me and my dad poor sense of direction and communication and also bad time estimating, we still reached sch late.. lols
my clsroom is on lvl 4...reach sch, then asked me go down lvl2 to print peer evaluation. Come up and listen to a few grps presenting and went down again to 3rd lvl SU room to get indemnity. Came up then my grp turns to present already. Went down again for lunch
After up, went up to classroom to allow me to prepare for CS presentation. havent started hen i went down again to submit names to SA office for campus road run...came up, wanting to start... then I gt another call frm Joe to pass him the club room keys. Next is going up to classroom but went down again to print stuff from printing shop
So, basically.. my whole day in sch is to come up, come down, come up and come down!!!
and sorry my grpmates XP. After seeing THAT is how busy I am... they decide to switch my role in the role play from the bank manager to security (stand there and open door!) lols! Thanks nathan! haha... I gt no time time to momorise my whole chunk of lines la
Reharse probably a few hundreds times because everyone just keep on laughing in the midst...before it's my grp turn to present.
After presentation, rushed more to pass ppl the indemnity form. Then I gt a call from tim and guojie who said don't want to come the camp anymore. Seriously pissed! Rushed off frm sch to douby ghuat to meet kel...and it spells the end of my mon time rush, finally.

Reached home at about 11pm. Was damn tired that I went to sleep immediately. Thinking that it might be better tmr... Guess not
My comp is spoiled...
my hp is spoiled too!

Can't even boot up my comp today. My hp turns unresponsively too. I wonder did my things choose the time to break down? nice time ehh. Anyway, shall send in my hp for repair when i went off to camp on Fri.

So bored at home today. Not to mention that my parents were in genting again=.=

so yes, everything i wrote here now is basically is just PISS. why is all this happening!?!

2008-11-06T14:57:00.002+08:00

Currently settling 2 events and 2 projects now.

my volunteering spirit is killing me!

1st, I decide to takeover the mangement of those activities in tkd from campus road run, to Camp diamond to AGM etc. because everyone is busy with school or attachment, well...I'm like the only one on hols =.= SIAN. What made things worse is that I'm not getting the desired response from every side! I manage, I organise, I participate, I do, I solo. =.= (nice slogan) I quit soon, haha.

2nd, Then I reacted overly enthu to help Claire with the PM project cus I really feel bad to let her do so much... Im promised her to my part by today morning. and it's noon now.. but i havent even started!

3rd, CS Project. I say 'I do' again because I'm not used to doing so little work in the team. I did the project background this time round. Then I agree to do the finalise editing of report and PPT, which I know will be damn taxing if you want to do it well

Probably attending a leadership camp on 14-16th. Then campus road run on the 19th, BBT on 20th. That's it. I'm leaving my 2 weeks clear later on to meetup with those after 'a' peeps. haha

i shouldn't be up here in the first place with so many things to do right =X

2008-11-01T20:00:00.002+08:00

I ended the last day of school in style! (yes, unbelievable how short it really is!)

1st, we have the CS roleplay which is like damn fun!~ hooray. Whole SA came early to another room and reharse and prepare for their roleplay (but is because SA werent informed of the change of class time) So we were like 2hrs early?? ended up taking videos and lotsa pics. behind the scenes is da best!

all the girls to put on makeup and everyone looks so different! I played a waitress in my scenario & dressed myself in black & white formal with a black bow tie. I also ditched that 2inch heels for that flat platform shoes which I worn when I were really a waitress at hyatt last time. But guess what? My shoes spoilt last moment and the whole end just dropped off!!! =.= So I have to do the roleplay in a foot higher than another. But I think my pants were long enough to cover off. haha, I wonder if Ms Lilian realised that :p

anyway, the process is just damn funny and enjoyable. I post up the pics if I have them (=

CS ended at ard 4pm. Had some time on hands and went to play badminton with Angela, Jerome & some track ppl. Somemore, I didn't bring extra shoes & attire so I just played barefooted in my half-gee. ( i didn't noe badminton can be so tiring!) My white gee turned black after playing. missed the feeling of the indoor sport hall, with badminton, volleyball, table tennis all in it. Kinda remind me the days in sec sch and that I probably spent half of my time in the sport hall. Then there were also drama roleplay on the stage then someone playing piano, outside will be the band ppl.

had training later. Attandance was downright bad as expected with only like 8ppl? o.0 Because there's like so many halloween parties to attend to! there were like almost 3 grp of parties on the forum ...err yar, 1 infront, 1 behind us 1 on the side. Then TKD was like in the center doing their own training o.0

no comment, an interesting sight. haha XPXPXP but the atmosphere there at least makes me feel better with the lack of attendance and that I'm celebrating halloween too... lols!

my foot finally gt another blister after both badminton and tkd. Worn that no sweat shirt and ended up full of sweat again. and err, my whole body is aching from the top to toe. Guess I have been too slack recently..hehe

Shall make full use of this hols and do something beneficial (=

2008-10-30T00:42:00.002+08:00

I just got to read thru some my previous posts over the years. Have been keeping this blog since err.. Sec 3? Recorded down about 230 posts already. Back then, I was always penning about my daily life, complaining this, complaining that and almost everything I did... hahaha

It's totally memorable to look back at your self and . Laughing at the stupidity, the fun, the sillyness, childishness. Sure, there were definitely much unhappy things in my life and I penned all these down with great hatred and sorrow before. But from a reflective viewpoint, If I didn't undergo all these back then, would I be of today? Everything WAS simplicity. Yes, that's the word. Simplicity. I guess I lost it all. Not actual lost, I prefer that this characteristic in me is mutated. Haha, yes... u can go relate it the form of alien creatures in mutation. It probably gets uglier most of the time but haha, u got stronger with the ability to protect yourself.

Yes, its all changed. I don't believe in the word 'Pure'. There's no pure happiness, no pure evilness, no pure anger, pure hatred, pure love. Nothing is just purely, exactly, 100%. It wld be 80% love and 40% hatred taking a reference to my class. Everything do occurs at the same time. We ain't mutally exclusive. Tada. Exactly... if only things were so easy to be defined. Life would be much easier.

The chinese word for Pure is '单纯' and as my mother always says '单纯给人骗'. It's true. Given a choice, would you rather be the one that don't know all the things out there or be that one that knew it all? Im the latter one. There's a word out there. Pretence. U can pretend that you don't know but no way can you pretend that you know. Be a smart ass.

Nope, I dont think I'm complicating saying these stuffs. What I goes by in life is only Genuine and Fake. That's all. It can only be that 2 and I don't care how many percentage were there into it.

For all the stuffs I've gone thru in 18 years of my life, I've gone this far here. Cheers.

On the lighter note, I dig out a post back in my post 'O' period while waiting for results and I laughed my ass off for 2mins after seeing this!

***

Sunday, January 07, 2007

anyone thought that i had died at home?
died of boredom?
why?

i am not attending any JC now
i dont have a job now and neither am i intending to find 1
dont bother to watch any tv show
dont even want went online becus of e lagging internet
i stayed at home everyday
and hardly step out off the house anyway

the worst is that i plain happy that i am been a useless bum at home
eat and sleep and play
no work nor study
what a wonderful life=)
lolx
written on 10:26 PM

***

goodness! yar, laugh all you can. I can't believe how I really did that back then =X hahaha..but right, I'm not hiding my past away because all these were part of me. Part of today's mutation of myself.

Yes, u may bet otherwise, I'm proud of what I've undergone and mutating into a stronger one =)

2008-10-26T15:11:00.003+08:00

currently trying to study for my project management test... but the whole thing is just dry and boring which dont even get you think further off the book

nvm, i still have the night and tmr to choing

seems like my EPM mates are having soooo much fun. I mean real fun of course. Burning their weekend as as their events come in alr. (nah, they no longer stay in the office from 9-6pm and play zhong ji mi ma, haha)

Sat report at 715am and for their AWWA soccer and basically under the sun from 8-3pm. Then they rushed down to pandang and do their 'adi-nana'. Its a branding banana thingy, pasting adidas sticker on 7000 bananas and promoting it to ppl (damn retarded can=.=) from the evening all the way until the night 9+! and they had another event on the Sun morning, reporting at 530am! ( might as well dont slp)

omg, I can't imagine Im gonna do that for my next err... month! Being out for the whole day, getting all the sunburn, or worse..working in the rain, taking care of all the elderly, going on stage and lead ppl for exercise, sai kang... blah blah blah, it's everything!

Well, I shall look forward to the challenge then. For now... I shall fully utilize the life of just 3hrs in sch. haha

2008-10-25T15:06:00.009+08:00

sinful sinful~

Im got myself a teabreak of cheese fries + McFlurry

not as if I didn't have my lunch at 12pm.

somemore, I'm having training later... !!!

So tired physically after a depressing PM 40% test, then instantly followed by a make-up lesson, lunchbreak then lab workshop.

and about the lab workshop. the whole world get a comp to themselves except for me. I took a broken PC=.= So I just drive off into my own world while teacher is explaining all these and that of the MS project.

Im still having a 10% test based on what i learned today! *DIES*

anyway, everyday is test day.

alrights, blogging here because Im just too bored now and refuse to do work again

current situation outside; brawn without brain. Dragonboat-er playing table tennis in the air! completely retarded right??? and they play the 'so fun' game everyday of their training. and I suspect he's one of them=.=

ok, i try to catch a nap before the training now.

7-11 is sure tiring =x

2008-10-25T15:06:00.008+08:00

a day of accidents.

I'm currently in school, clubroom. If you're wondering why on earth am I doing in school on a Sat? I shall explain that ltr... sighs-

So, it's finally the long anticipated Fri. Class starts at 1pm and ends before 3pm =.= If I have known, I would nv have brought my laptop to sch because I forget to take the charger along! 1st... my laptop is basically useless without its charger anyway and 2nd. It ain't light. Well, forgetting the charger isn't really a big deal but it's actually the start of the WHOLE THING.

Let's continue. So, I gotta attend the Piano Concert tt starts at 730pm. Its on a fri night, the tkd training and piano concert clash... another start of everything. Not willing to lug a heavy and useless laptop ard, I decide to leave the laptop in the clubroom. Carried all the equipments up to the training ground at 7+ and had to immediately rush off to the concert with Cath.

Attend the piano concert, pretty good but we didn't expect it to end so late. So late that we got into trouble. No reception in the music hall somemore and I haf to get a singtel hp to msg my Dad and ask him not to pick me up at the usual time. It's only until 11pm that the concert ends and I check back my hp and realise that he hve been waiting for me since 10pm! He said it was too late when he got my msg alr..sigh, left in rush and forget all about my laptop in the clubroom

and because I left in such a rush that I didn't have a chance to talk to the rest. Only after like 1am that cath called me and tell me what had happened after the concert. Apparently, some of the alumnis were down for training on Fri and they were really angry with us because there were no ppl to take the class, no committee and trainees present because all went to the concert and that we came up too late to keep the equipments. Heard that they were so angry and call for a urgent meeting. and who gonna organise the meeting again? ME.

So today, Sat. I had to look for Cath in Sembawang to get the clubroom key and then head to school to get my laptop. Standing throughout the journey from Kovan to Sembawang is enough to make my mood bad. Added that I only slept at 3am but woke up at 10am. what's more, its a Saturday. When Im got out of YCK mrt, can't believe there's such retarded ppl! A bitch was infront of me. Retarded, she tapped her card on the LEFT machine! Before I could react, my card was on the machine alr. So, I watch with my naked eyes that the bitch passed the gate via my card and I got debarred! FREAK

Bad luck doesn't end here. Walked to school back gate under the hot sun just to realise that the backgate is close! and I can't even open it with my admin card! My god, imagine how pissed off I was then after the tapping card incident

spent 15 mins walking from the MRT to the backgate and I had to spend another 15 mins walking back to the MRT station, then had to walk 10mins from the station to the main gate. another 5mins to reach the clubroom.

(blogger can't seem to just deleted everything i wrote afterward. look like my bad luck didnt end)

2008-10-23T10:13:00.002+08:00

Help! I ain't doing ANYTHING now

and I guess my body alarm is finally fixed! I woke up like at 8am ever when there's no school today. and I found myself being so lazy to do what i'm suppose to do, ever since I finish reading the last book of pmzx last yesterday and I had twlight left in my clubroom somemore=.=

On the computer and just click around aimlessly. I can visit a person blog for like 3 times a day because the link is just there for me to click and click and click (i noe it's freaking)

My classmates are better. Everyday is drama-marathon for them. Everyone is watching Taiwan and Korean dramas and classroom talk is all about that. 'u watch until what disc alr?' 'send epX to me!", "nice not, got cry not?"

So what's the problem with us??? Because we have no time to waste!

test test test! left with 1.5weeks! I got 4 ICAs in 6 school days left only. WLAOOOO. Freak la... and i would be a state of 'serve myself right' soon. For been so slack in the 1s place

waiting till 11am for my 'gua sha' appointment. If anyone don't know what's that, go google up about TCM. haha

currently:

freaking over my slack...

2008-10-22T20:46:00.002+08:00

had been spending my time reading Chinese books online for the past few days. It is some chessy romance story actually, haha

http://book.sina.com.cn/nzt/lit/paomozhixia/index.shtml

But it's really good! I finished the 3 books in just 1 week! It just keep me going on and on. But what I appreciated most is the characteristic of the main girl. The whole storyline was finely potrayed and i can relate myself to some part of it. Yeah, dramatic, bitter-sweet, sacrifices, love, hatred...practically EVERYTHING i had seen in all the ou xiang ju drama also. Of course, the book was far more in-depth that the drama itself. It's gonna be film into a drama soon anyway=.= so well, read the book 1st before the drama comes in to ruin the perfection of the image of my mind..haha

some of my fave pictures of the series:

2008-10-22T19:51:00.002+08:00

ok, i feel like writing something down today.

so well, new blogskin because I got too sick of the previous emo blue. Got vann to help me with that! XDXD (see, so nice) but unfortunately, I'm too lazy to edit any of the details of the layout. I shall do that when I feel like..hehe

I'm left with just 1.5weeks to go. But I actually enjoyed the 1.5week before soooooo much..

I woke up in the morning to go to the school, then I'll do a reasonable amount of listening/studying in class, then I go for lunch or break with my classmates, and when I went home, I'll spend some quality time with myself again. Then I'll sleep before 12am to prepare for another morning class again.

Oh wonderful... Life feel so good going at such reasonable pace. Not really stressful and not really slacking. haha

Tues class was in the morning 9am then I had a tkd meeting until like 9pm. The following day, I had a 20% CS test at 830am (sounds so much like my previous semester hor???) I'm pretty sure I would be definitely be emo-ing in the past... But today was good, not even close to it. Talk about stress management, I thought I handled it pretty well in the past but only today that i realised that stress comes from the amount of workloads you have to handle. The more work to do, the more stressed you get. If you have less work to handle, we don't even need to bothered about how to handle stress in the 1st place! So, If you have no workload and still have stress, then something is wrong with you ( n go study stress management la) XP

CS test today went pretty alright and hopefully my common knowledge help me in it. But in the lecture hall, i keep on hearing LOUD virbration from a hp. I was like which retarded ppl had set such strong virbration in hp and it just keep on snoozing on and on throughout the test! Well... 3hrs after the test is over, I checked my hp in the bag, IT'S ME!!! Goodness, SA office just keep on calling me because I didn't return the room key to them! When i picked up the phone.... the lady just go (*@#*$#!)

OMG, why am I always in this sort of trouble =.= anyway, got Cath to sort tt out for me. Thanks dude, I don't wanna go there and kena yelled by them again. haha

having a PM test next week and it's 40%! Project instruction should be given on Fri alr. Still got the minutes to rush out. Gonna have a lot of events laid out for tkd... and i need to practise my 4.8km soon, might need to train for NTU-open, my BBT on 20th! awwwwwwww

2008-10-15T19:47:00.002+08:00

3rd day into my classic studies. and my cold isnt getting any better still. so it's a pretty horrible time ard so far

So well, I gave up on trying to figure out Mr Michael's accent. (actually, he's from Aussie instead!) and this weird angmoh always goes 'aiyaya' and wears a red and golden dragon tie to class every single day. Gosh, how fascinating can it golden dragen tie be? =.= and err.. he's always late for classes everytime also

So today, I purposely picked a seat on the further corner of the class and go into my lalaland. Lessons are getting more and more boring and projects haven't kicked in yet, surprisingly. 3hrs in school, 2hrs of transportation... okay, go compare to my previous 7-11 (16hrs) and check out the difference. I'm so not used to it actually! I found myself absolutely NOTHING to do after school. Because there's no assignment or anything for us to study in the first place. and I can't be bothered to head off for elsewhere after school also.

Everyday, the whole class go...SO BORED!

Really, we're the better grp even. The other grp having their EPM is much worse than us. Because they gotta stay in school from 9-6pm doing NOTHING also! There's someone watching over them 24/7 to ensure that they do not go msn, youtube, games etc. omg, so self-torturing xP More like convict instead. haha

At least we still can youtube/play games/msn in class even though Mr Michael broadcast our computer screen for everyone to see. I continue to chat openly still. haha...and i like the wallpaper thingy. Evily put the wallie to dulian pic of ur classmates so that everyone see! muhahaha XD

ppl, please come online at this time and entertain me during lesson ok~

Mon- 9am-12pm, 3pm-6pm

Tue-9am-12pm

Wed-12-3pm

fri- 1-4pm

2008-10-13T20:05:00.002+08:00

how's my 1st day of school?

-CS Lesson cancelled! YAYYS. Means I was released at 12pm instead of 6pm.

-think I caught a cold or something in the 1st morning=.=

- went pizzahut for lunch with 11 classmates

Well so, my pm lesson is pretty boring, as in the subject itself. I got a British Teacher somemore! And he got some really thick accent=.= Intially I thought it was only me who can't understand the teacher because my english was just too lousy. Then after 20 mins into the lesson, Charlene whispered to me, " hey, you understand what the teacher is saying or nt?" Then we both laughed our heads off. In pizzahut gathering, everyone admitted that we all cant get what the teachers is talking today! So, it isn't just me in fact. lols!

With regards to understanding the thick British's accent in our tutor, I just need take it like... figuring out Jay Chou's singing. haha

andI'm having second thoughts about going to AUS! How am I gonna survive there when I can't even understand a single word of English??? I know Singlish, not English =.= and the thoughts of speaking the native English in a foreign place is simply FREAKY. I would probably be the 1st target of language discrimination! Then should I ended up in Taiwan? hahaha... at least I'm more comfortable in a Chinese speaking country.

But well... mug 1st. Gonna get use to morning 9am lesson definitely. Argh, my sleeping time is still not fixed =.=

2008-10-12T18:24:00.002+08:00

pardon me, I'm still gonna rant about my pre-schooling mood here again.

so yar, all my classmates are blogging about their pre-school mood also snd all the talks about the class spliting into 2 grps from tmr onwards is making me feel the blues with them too. Argh, I feel so inmature all of the sudden, like little kids throwing tantrum over school starting =.=

I think Im gonna miss the group in the whole half year to be. I wonder how's life gonna do without 1/2 the class and being with a whole new chunk of BM students== I hope they were nice and everything will went on smoothly

and since the new semester comes, I decide to make some new (not gonna be fufil) resolutions here

1) Pre-read my lectures note before every lecture.

2) Do the assignment. Even if they're not graded.

3) Dont ever THINK of ponning a single classes this time round

4) Be a nicer teammate and offers help to SW students if required

5) Ensure that I rehearse all my presentation before so that my weird pronunciation wont run out when I got too nervous

6) Stop being cunning/bitchy/emo on this blog

7) Stop dao-ing ppl all the time and be more 'on' for outing

8) No more sloppy dressing in school except for Tue and Fri

9) Cut off from MSN during lesson time

10) Pass my BTT within 2 attempts

11) Keep my hair BLACK until year 3 starts

12) Stop finding additional stuffs for myself to do because Im busy enough!

Guess, that's all for the time being.

yiing officially lost her courage. 1 moment she was being so emotional about it... and when the opportunity comes, she decides not to take it again. NVM NVM NVM~

I'm fine. (=

2008-10-11T20:03:00.001+08:00

I'm gonna take 2 really boring modules for the upcoming three weeks. Project Management and Customer Service. So sianx =(

and I'm gonna do 3 team projects and 2 individual written tests in this short 3 weeks. So well... I promise I'm just gonna cut away from all the distraction around and do a prefect one in this 3 weeks.

School starts on 13Oct. Next hols would be on 1 Nov! Then I just have to report to school on 10Nov for 1 day for all the project presentations. Hols continue, haha. But guess what, my parents are going Genting (again) on 10Nov! Why does it has to be on THAT particular day??? I wanna go too! =( boo... can I just take a bus there myself in the evening and join your later instead=.=

anyway, my timetable seems so cool on first view, but after taking the 2nd glance, I think it's kinda bad for me! Mon is literally just 6hrs of studying. But I have like 3 long hrs of break in between, so that's actually 9 freaking hrs in school! And what am I gonna do on tues when school ends at 12pm only to have tkd in the evening at 7pm?!? Same goes for Fri. They actually separate the test time with our lesson time too. So it's like I've report to school at 830am to take a 1 hr test but the real lesson only starts at 12pm. Gosh... No wonder ppl turns slacker in TEP under the long long break, haha

alrights, enough of school rants. I should have more stuff to say about hols. It seems that I'm finally getting bored of the hols alr. I just made a private post also, so well... I guess when ppl have too much time on hands (like me currently =.=), you will tend to think into areas that gonna upset you. At least when you're busy, you don't have the time to bother with such things any longer. I'm good at avoiding but it's still nice to sort out the thoughts once in a while.

enough of hols blues. I guess I'm ready for school! aja~

2008-10-08T15:37:00.006+08:00

I probably had this post edited a hundred times before having it posted up.

Ok, school is officially starting for me on next Mon.

I'm taking classic first, which means... 3weeks of studying 1st then a week of tests followed by 4 weeks of hols! OMG. Cant you believe Im gonna haf a week of hols again on 3rd Nov??? well... then I go back to school for just 1 day of presentation. TADA, i'll haf my hols all the way until 15th Dec! Ok... dont get too jealous of me. Because afterward my official 9-5 full shift work from will starts after the hols, immediately followed by the half shift work. And before I knew it, attachment outside school will begin then in year 3...tada, I've graduated frm poly also.

It's unbelievable fast isn't it? Fangwei, dina and minjie will be graduating from their JC on this coming fri, and yea... another mth! Dear friends, good luck for 'A' alright ((:

ok, back to myself. I do have many things to say but my thoughts were unfortunately all jumbled up at the current moment. Well, I don't have any qualm about my arrangement in TEP. Our alr pathetic SW class of 30 is further split up into 15. I probably wont see the rest 15 in the whole semester this day. But the usual clique stay tgt still. Went off to amkhub to catch House Bunny with classmate since I have a bit of time on hands. We slacked at coffeebean 1st. A word to describe them- loud. Not necessary a bad thing though ((: though i enjoyed listening to their stories. haha.

Just that it further shows the contrasting difference between me and classmates, and unfortunately, i can't do anything more on my part alr... I reckoned I've tried and so do your. That's the best we could get to. Some ppl just don't click.

Oh well... I thought of this the other night, I gonna be separated from classmates for 1/2 the year and probably another 1/2 more year and maybe... Im not gonna contact them anymore afterward. Is like, as classmates, we probably once spent so much time tgt in school, shared both wealth and woe as a class, we talked everything under the Sun and everything was great. Then suddenly, we stepped on a different journey in life after graduation. We bade farewell to poly life and yea...from then onwards, this would be the last time I would see them isnt so?

Oh well, human connection is just a funny thing. We will get cut off immediately once there's no more relationship within one another. I probably forget all about 2/3 and 4/3. Well, I dont even talk to MT staff online now, and I wonder if I will still keep in touch with wenxin and cath once I graduated from the club also. Ok, sad isnt it? But that's how relationship works. If we don't keep in contact, we will all become stranger soon.

Yes, and counting, I only had that few friends actually. (and Im seriously glad I've them still. haha, darlings... u noe who u're xD)

Im not emo-ing back it just occurs to me when I saw classmate when I gt back to school on tues. We said 'Hi' and 'long time no see'. Well, That's it. We're all going on separate way again. No matter how close we once were, the connection in us is gone alr... and well, I dont exactly like the past either. So well, let's see if we're fated to be more than classmates then.

i do hope so, seriously.

2008-10-03T23:54:00.003+08:00

Hols are close to an end! So after being seriously dead BORED for the whole period ever since the training camp, i finally head out of my shell and off to town today! Then I realise, from today onwards... yes, from TODAY onwards, I'm gonna be dead BUSY. =.=

alrights, let's talk about how bored am I for the week. So, I probably did all the junk stuffs the whole of time to entertain myself. Photoshopping, writing, coding, watching videos, idol-ing and idle-ing! ok... 1st, lemme share some random stuffs of my PS-ing! xD

Alright, no doubt. I'm actually showing off here. haha Oh well, I don't have tree to showcase my PS-ing work alr. So yar, lemme be (: See, DBSK new album [Mirotic] is sooo godly hot that I can't resist working on them. Seeeeee, hotter than ever pics! *drools* I'm inspired to create tutorials after creating their artworks in fact. work in progress currently though. but I highly doubt if I can ever complete them. I also went ahead to do several textures from pics I took previously. (Look, I LOVE finding rubbish for myeslf to do even if I know it will cause to me so much torment anyway and this is call 自找 in the end) Nvm, goodwill offering to the community then, haha. if only someone could really buy down all my design, i would be rich! and I can't believe I keep on missing out competition to join because I'm dont really give a damn to commerical stuff in the 1st place =.= but well...hahaha, like as if I will win anything. Maybe just a milo tin la, lols. The last 2 artworks was a collab with vann. I suggest working on something tgt since we both have different style in work. In the first pic, I did the 1st part and vann did the 2nd part. Then it's e reverse way arond in the 2nd pic. See the contrasting difference in personal style alr? It would be best to see the before and after pic la. Vann changed my works to hers and I changed her works to mine! Playing with vann's godly artwork is really fun anyway, let's doing again! Muhahaha~

enough of my photoshop craze. I'm pretty much a hopeless addict as everyone knows. Let's talk about writing then. I probably did the most writing during the whole period. Purple was something really emo and difficult to write and that the only one out so far that I have to be more professional to go about. As much as I like to write like my fave chinese author, there's still limit to my language proficiency=( Also wrote out a chapter of HK2 over the weekend. It's totally embarrassing to read back what I have wrote a year ago! Damn dulian for all the stuffs written in it. haha, well...HK2 is like a mirror that reflect your past self and and changes in you. Well, 1 and a half year isn't for nth and it's totally amazing. Then I talk about the abandoned collab of gdday with mintzzy recently. I thought the writing rocks so much back then (lols!) but i realise the language actually sucks alot when I re-read the chapters again! See, past are haunting me again!! lols~

Ok, next rants... would be videos! Finally watched Fated to Love You over this hols! Completed gt me going. The show got me crying! See, so powerful la== well, that prove that I'm still a normal teenager. hahaha! err, highly recommended to watch. lols! Finally watched Sky of Love, which everyone said the show is a real tears-driver. Susanne also insist on sending the show for me, like before the exam. Ok, the real reason I watch the show only till now is because I finally know how to open the movie format via my classic window player!!!See, I might appear to be tech savy in front of others with my skills in PSing or coding etc... but I'm actually retarded in many computer things! Fine, I admit that that I dunno how to print paper from printer, I dunno how to open dvd file with a player, I dunno how to use a harddrive also and i also failed my access time too. lols... even myself is laughing at such stupidity la== Nvm about that, I shall continue to talk about Sky of Love. It's totally disappointing to me. 1st, sus sent me the duel version which play BOTH chinese and Jap version TGT (or maybe just that I dunno how to switch off the duel sound) and they gt 3 huge subtitles covering like almost 1/3 or the screen alr, totally stupid also right? irritating. 2nd... OMG. totally cliche plot. and it's not even sweet in the first place! U tell me how sweet can rape, miscarriage and getting cancer be? It's like the only movie that I keep on swearing to my comp in fact. Dammit, they're actually contaminate the school library! So sick and wrong! I hate morally wrong story anyway. haha. Part 2 should be better and more touching... but only if I have gt too bored in the night and decide to watch it. haha, better drive some tears out this time round manx. lols

I guess I shall end this post. and yucks, have to retype some part of the post because of the html rule in blogger. Seriously, dumb la. The theme is 'It a boring life', remember? I blog about Marina Camp soon hopefully. wees~

2008-09-28T01:02:00.016+08:00

Ok, part 1 is cranky while this part 2 would be crazy! Before and after the exams...well well XP

22-24Aug: the outing after end of the exams. Went to Singapore Flyer. View wasn't the best, unfortunately. lols! Took lotsa pics there. (dont ask me what we're trying to do XP) We were the only one whole bus. Travel from the singapore flyer to orchard for more fun afterward fun. Watched the bloody Hills Have Eyes dvd with the gangs. Check out our expression! Then was the chalet moment with waterguns! i swear I kept the crappy photos away alr. haha

23Aug: A nyjc student for one day! jkjk. Was there to 'study' with fangwei. but ended up camwhoring. ehh, right?? (PS: fangwei, I posted the positive looking ones only. haha)

30-31 Aug: spent my entire weekend over at the national tournament. Pretty much insipring. But ok... we gossiped, played cards, ate popcorn just to kill time over there. haha, didnt take much photos though.

14-16sep: Birthday concide with my genting trip. I swear genting is nothing new to me alr== but i can't help but to take stock pic anywhere I go. Generous shopping spree at KL also. Best moment: when I on my hp/comp after 3 days and got greeting msgs altogether. ahahahaha

19th-21th Aug: TKD Training Camp 2008. I dont think I talked much about it. But it's actually hell loads of fun! Because our sir fell sick on day 1 and alunmi came only for half a day. Committee overpowered the camp! Steamboat party, nighttrail @ 12am (us being the organiser of course==), slept till 10am without PT, and tt toothpaste fight! Conclusion: being in the committee is still fun overall. LOL!

Ok, shall end my picture post here. Life have been real boring after the camp infact. D-day! 7Oct. Decide my fate of where Im going or gonna do for the next 6mth. haha

2008-09-28T00:03:00.012+08:00

finally, I decide to spend the whole night sorting out of the pics in my hp.
pictures heavy post ahead ((:

I shall start off with.... the reason why I pride myself as an SW student! oh well.. err, watever, as if, XP

stock pics of my school environment below. Taken when I gotten too bored while waiting for my dad's car to go home.

Then I begin taking pics of my house too. PSSH... i see nice sunset from my window XP

But well, what's nice about boring building and plants??? Let me go with events from here on.

31 Jul 2008- the day that I had a club meeting for almost 3 straight hrs till 10pm in the night. had school since 8am with 2 formal presentation. I even gt a jap skit to practise on the next morning== One of the most tiring day around then. So yea, got so crazy tt I begin to draw crap on the meeting minute tt I'm suppose to record down. Super hilarious contents. A collab with cath!

28Jul 2008- Ok, i remembered I was rushing over 3projects with classmates over that period. Was practically staying late every single day to do project discussion (camwhore session to end with).

8 Aug 2008- that particular day which the whole school went home to watch Olympic. And me... had to stay behind and hold onto the clubroom key. I nv forget the 12hrs law== oh well, conclusion, I should nv stay at the private place to study along because I will do anything and everything i could around to entertain my ownself. lols

2008-09-24T21:33:00.002+08:00

I know it's quite some time that I last blogged alr. Anyway, dont your find my blog is mainly used for depressing post? So yea, of course i need to throw rubbish out onto this blog. And for now... let's just talk about how soon my school gonna starts...

1week and 6 days.

Seriously, I dont even know what I'm freaking over about. School starts. It's just school starts! What's there to freak over about? You still see the same classmates, still learn the same old things, maybe still the same teachers... But the feeling this time round is very different and I can't explain it.

Seriously, I'm really scared to face the past... and the new opening semester might just...

说不出的不安

2008-09-18T00:07:00.002+08:00

wanna blog. but i dun wanna write anything. there's well, so many things and events going on in my life currently, and im afraid that I'll forget all these in the future...

just came back from a hols and I had so many thoughts generating during the 3 short days. Choked up like 4pages of diary on the spot. Quantity time for quality writing. Guess there's nothing much for me to express here anymore. shall build up the emo-ness for writing purple now. hah, cya.

2008-09-13T12:06:00.002+08:00

Well, I'm off to Malaysia 24hrs later from now. Kinda... I don't know. 1st time I'm spending my birthday oversea though it's just purely concidential. Im actually hate leaving with some many tasks unsettle... Am really busy recently settling the training camp. Not that it's so difficult to do the things properly, but that people simply don't cooperate! ppl dont reply to my msg, ppl dont pick up my call, ppl cannot confirm their schedule with me, ppl want bargain & argue...Gosh, why dont they be in shoes? I don't get the desired response after I did all that I suppose to do already. how sad. Well, the weakness in me is that I can't work with human. == Nvm... Im off to a hols soon, hah ((:

14th-16th: oversea

16th: results release

19th-21th: training camp

I'm extremely busy for the week. And I had already turned down numerous dates recently because of my busy schedule. Oh well... why ppl dont find me when i'm free? haha==

gonna go out ltr. heh, I alr had in mind to buy something memorable for my own 18th birthday. ((:

2008-09-03T20:30:00.002+08:00

I'm finally online. heh. did anyone miss me???

Well, my charger finally gave way and had to send the laptop to the service center itself. Somehow, my life still goes on well without a comp or so in the hols ((: ok, so what did i do for the past few days?

on Fri, went back to AMKSS with the girls to celebrate Teacher's Day. I guess it's already the 3rd year that I return back there as an alumni. Well... to say the truth, there wasn't much longing to get back to the school or even see the teachers...but perhaps out a feeling of responsibility and obligation? But still, AMKSS will still be the place that I feel most secured about to return back. The place which holds 4 years of memories to my life. I do hope it can still continue on, at least... Had a mini pre-celebration for jocelyn's birthday ltr on. hmm... I save all the mushy words for myself ((:

ilovejocelyn.blogspot.com

heh, I know I'm abit slow like always. still, I caught it! muhahaha.

ok, then my whole sat and sun weekend were all spent at watching and supporting the NYP fighters at the Taekwondo national tournament. Looking at how all the fighters sparred and pit their skills against one another... the techniques, the strategy, the underhand mtds, the injuries, the disappointment, the cheering, the winning moment...oh, i guess its everything. it was a rather fruitful experience afterall. Ok, I'm all inspired to train harder and take part in the tournament! intending to take part in the IVP tournament already. hmm, but regarding the weight category... I want Welter! HAHAHA (kill me would u?)

because....that would mean FATTENING myself up to at least 63kg! I repeat again it is 63kg! o.0 Just for the sake of taking part in a competition! Ironic isn't so? ppl join tkd to slim down but instead i had to gain more weight for that! Ok... I sure have my crappy reasons of why I think I suit to fight welter match better than being in the light one or even feather weight competition ==

gain weight is definitely much easier than losing weight, agree?? XD
lesser ppl to take part, more chance to win (default bronze, XP)
I will have a natural advantage in speed and stamina over those fatso, (nvm if I vomit my dinner out after suffering a blow from then)
most importantly, I don't LOOK like a 63kg one. get it? xD

Ok, enough of TKD. Someone knee-ed me in my metatarsal and ur can imagine how bad it can be. My whole body was also aching from a full workout last night...well, no complains. Love the sport, love the pain. I long wanted to post up this marketing gimmick from Nike after Liu Xiang's incident in the Olympic.

「愛比賽，愛拼上所有的尊嚴，愛把它再贏回來，愛付出一切，愛榮耀，愛挫折。愛運動，即使它傷了你的心。」

Love competition.
Love risking your pride.
Love winning it back.
Love giving it everything you’ve got.
Love the glory. Love the pain.
Love sport even when it breaks your heart.

anyway, I spent much time in these few days reading up on my sport studies. Ok, even I think I'm too crazy to actually study in the hols== but, yar, i gt nothing to do at home! Still, studying is better than rotting myself at home...boo, then i went on the packing my room finally. Like really pack and re-organise everything too this time round. It can be more tiring than expecting too. Then I went imagine how it is like if I live on my own and if I can literally manage myself about and do all the housework, (something which i hate most)... oh well, I guess I still have much to learn== i went on to caculate how long do I had to wait until i earn enough to buy a house or car on my own... Ok, I want to own a car on my own by 25 years old!

adopted and inspired by e crappiest catherine & and her aim far theory. haha

2008-08-27T22:02:00.002+08:00

Have been organising those admin data for the past few days. I probably sent out at least 200 msgs in these 2days. What for? Just to ask them if they're coming back to the club not and asking for their email address also. And no ppl bother replying also! I only gt back like 25 replies ( 15 to stay and 10 to leave) then i went on to classify the list further of 'gt hope' and 'no hope'. And I'm gonna be thick-skinned enough soon to call up the 'gt hope' list and ensure tt they are still staying.

sighs- sorting data is just that tedious. Sure, i'm not complaining.

Everyone agrees that NYPTKD is a piece of shit. Ha, that's what Sir Vincent said himself even. I couldn't agree less with what he said in fact and even sympathise with this sir who had stayed in the club for like 15yrs already. I mean... I exactly know how much efforts I had put into bringing the club tgt and I gues it's the same case for everyone too. We only do work when we're free and wanted them. It would be totally impossible to juggle between school and the club. We don't have the time, don't have the skill and don't even have the commitment...resulting in today's state, a plie of shit.

But somehow I suddenly remembered what Mr lionel told us in year 1. He strongly advise us, as SW students, to break into the commitees of our CCAs. (Oh well... for my case, it wasn't break. it's THAT campus road run event ==) Anyway, I don't really take what he says to mind and my mindset at that point of time wasn't even set on sport management. Oh well, Mr lionel was like forever enthu about my progress in the club somemore and i feel the pressure from him and as an SW student to perform and deliver what I am supposing to be good at. But I actually wanted so much to tell him... "hey, TKD club is really failing under me ok. It's a piece a S*** now" But now, I think Mr lionel made sense. I mean...if I can't even manage a cuckoo NPTYKD club, how am i gonna manage the real big sport clubs in the future?!? Fish. Ok...so i better get the club out the pile of shit and start proving my worth as an SW student==

Ok, I also borrowed a few sport management books from the library yesterday to keep me enrich and entertain for the whole hols. I got myself brand new books! Probably no one even touched them for the past decade or so *proud* nvm so... they nv know how much things they missed! Well, indeed i did question my choice before, but i had grew myself out of all the uncertainty and had a clearer understanding of myself. It's hard to explain how I came about all also... Look, I'm not a sport fan, neither an athlete, or someone who like to manage responsibilities alot. But who say u must be one in order to be learn sport management, who defined that an SW student must be outgoing and like the sun? Seriously, I don't care if i'm like e alien in my group of classmates already. Or how much others will say that I don't suit the course. I can't exactly state what is it in me... well, there's an unspoken interest in it... maybe it's just sports studies? I dunno yet, but I'm definitely gonna continue to do what I want.

I swear Im gonna work damn hard for it, alrighto?

and mother, stop asking my to get into finance! ( i will die, seriously) ==

end for the day-

2008-08-25T23:17:00.003+08:00

Ah, well...I chalked up an amazing number of activities and events in the past few days. In fact, was so busy that i don't even have the time to sit down and haf some moment by myself. So yes, I'm gonna write down all the little things that needed to be done here in case I can't keep track on them

***

clear my old books and past semester things, (completed alr)
reshuffle the shelf, (get the bags off 1st)
make more storage space, (means throwing more rubbish away)
tidy up my study room and bedroom, (i dunno how, seriously. "mum, my bedroom really looks fine==")
purchase more furniture for the rooms (someone gotta agree with it plssss XD)
clear my thoughts, (im always doing so)
fix my screwed sleeping time back, (sleep before 12 and wake up before 12, im...it's possible!)
fix my languages, (oh...er, watever la)
pick up some books frm bookstore, (reading is good! act studious.. muahaha)
read books on sport management, (i should, really)
start training on my fitness, (gt see fat ppl training fat ppl to be thin ?!!?)
prepare myself for TEP, (prepare for my slacking days *YAY)
start learning driving (if i gt a cool car...)
tidy up my wardrobe, (the problem is...i dont even hung or fold my clothes properly..)
throw away old and useless clothings away, (dont care even if i waste money..haa)
purchase new apparels for myself, ( and spend money!)
get a good skin (duh, my screwed face==)
look better (of course!)
organise data in my laptop, (clear rubbish)
backup them, (reboot..maybe)
buy a new charger for laptop, (bring the ugly taped laptop out?!? over my dead body)
get MT up or down, (*winks*)
finish writing my fic ( just drag another year only...)
start working on admistration stuffs of TKD, (erm..8pts. dont want get complain alr)
organise those human data,
prepare for the training camp, ( *torturing smile*)
learn my upcoming grading test (jumping front kick! woos)
to collect bad debt from others, (if i could remember those baskets whom owe my money 1st)
start accounting for my money usage, ( i didnt take 3 semester of accounting for nth!)
restore back my bank saving, ( getting lesser and lesser)
do away with the $200 limit on my nets, (stupid bank and stupid mum)
get a credit card (cool right??)

***

THAT'S ALL. My wonderful plan for my hols!!!

sooooo ppl..... stop offering me a job! Im not free, in fact....very busy in the hols! (watever) hahaha... lemme just go ahead with my hols plan k? xDxDxD

2008-08-24T00:08:00.002+08:00

Finally, my exams are over! cheers for meeeeee

're-taped' back my charger and I'm back online!

Well, actually I dont feel much currently. Exams are over...exams are over exams are over..that it. Probably, because I knew Im gonna start taking organising myself already. heh, not that I'm not forward-looking to the hols..but infact, I knew organising my life can be really more intimidating and tiring than taking the exams. (ok... that doesn't mean that exams isnt horrible enough), if ur really get what im talking about. I'm still glad that I finally gt a break and start organise the messy state around. Messy can be just one thing, but messy state drive me mad! That's e problem! I swear i do up a plan soon...hmm, XP

lols, and regarding my exams, I'm pretty sure I will scrap through this semester again. GPA will fall around the avg 3.0 with 1A, 2Bs, 3Cs. My estimation hardly goes wrong anyway. I wish it could have gone wrongly infact. It's either a) above the estimating and I thks myself for being to lucky or b) fall below expectation and I will stop being so cocky and dont give a damn about it anymore. admit it, 2 weeks of reasonable hardwork was all I need to clear the modules in the whole semester. But well, I can only say i gave a practical situation analysis of myself. No point acting humble infront of no ppl since no one is in my blog also and i can blow up all i want. hmm, how some were saying how horrible e BF paper was and they're gonna REPEAT the module. I mean...hello, there's an extend to how humble can one gets to infront of others k. Too humble it would get to faking. yes the paper was tough. REPEAT?? god... I wish ur can. less one genius that would make me jealous. haha, I'm damn mean.

I bet I'm like e only one who will say that I will be better this time off because i guess I put in more efforts in the final 2 weeks than the last time. Last semester? hahaha... i actually pre-estimated my results even before i took the exams *winks* well, as much as i think that I had aleady changed for a better in my mindset towards studies, I guess I cant haf any regrets for what I did in the past. It could be viewed as stupidity but why the hell I wanna label myself as stupid? By having regrets, we're actually saying that we're lousier in the past due to blah blah blah. Probably everything would make sense actually..but it's gone, that's all.

And the post exam period will be real hectic with lotsa activities lined up already. I talked about them soon if i got a chance. heh...

It's the end but where do I start from to organise my life??? i do a post about my great plan soon... weess

cya, off to chalet already((:

2008-08-19T13:31:00.003+08:00

-coughs coughs-

IM BACK! thanks goodness i didnt drain my laptop after! <3<3>

okok, not plainly because I have bad self-discipline, but my classmates sent me some important hints for exams! so...MUST ON LAPTOP and check!

i copied down the info...but here i left with a bit of time...so heh

today was a good day, because my marketing paper went well, johnny is GOD! <3>

Gt a class chalet! Then i gt my addias course tee! woos~

wonderful. But i guess death comes in on 21th and 22nd when im gonna have my accounting and finance==

ok, laptop drain-ed

off i go, BYES

2008-08-18T02:30:00.003+08:00

Ok. after making this blog post, I'm gonna pull off the bandage on my charger and keep it away. My laptop can't do without a charger now and it's really too tedious for me to set up after that.... so, that it. I won't be tempted to on the laptop and play my life away anymore

so well, no more! Till my exam are over. NO MORE.

I realised I so behind already. Literally speaking... I'm don't have e confidence anymore. A look at accounting and finance says I'm dead. I can't even remember how to do those qns which i done a few weeks back and now i still have NEW chapters to work on. and i choinged to work out my SW notes all e way till now after procastinating for the whole semester (look, at this point of time, just 2 days away, i shldnt be doing note really==) HOW?? what made matters worse is that I slept and played throughout my sat because i really dont want to do accounting... Kill me

where is my missing 2%? because virgos are suppose be good accountants, but im NOT. unfortunately.

my efficiency went missing. Oh well... maybe there's no sense of urgency to do well for my studies infact..UNTIL like 2 days ago.

with regards to my SW course, I promise Im gonna stop complaining from now onwards. It will be something im gonna take for my life career, hopefully. At least 70% sure for now. And well, hopefully nothing more is gonna get into my way and no more conflicting thoughts in me either. i guess it might be bit too late though but i sorted out a lot a uncertaincy in my mind during the midst of this whole study period.

suddenly i wanna do well for my course already

and that what i really want, is to pursue knowledge. So well, I'm willing to learn ((:

If im willing to work hard, I guess I can be successful and HAPPY with myself at the end of the day. the most important part for me now is to put behind all the past negative thoughts and strive forward. It's gonna be difficult but...im willing to try now. cheero, i became a better person again.

but before that, im gonna plug off my comp and work hard. haha

but can't believe I have to resort to THIS. GOSH

oh well, I came up with a thoery that I should now look at thing in depth, lightly. No use trying to comprehend something too complicated, instead, try appreciate it in a different light and mindset.

off i go. CIAO

2008-08-13T20:34:00.003+08:00

woos! business law exam tmr! GOSH...what am i doing here still !!!>.<

lalala. gt an obsession with astrology recently! So interesting... spent hrs reading up on them instead of my book.

heh, I post my fave one up about virgo, and since im a 98% virgo, better read this first then handle me ltr== hahaha!

it's in Chinese though. I like it for it's 一针见血((:

credit: http://www.wretch.cc/blog/NokiaTerry/6498267

*****

（星座）終極分析-讓你更瞭解自己和身邊的人-處女座
處女座終極完美分析

都說處女座另類，雙重性格，甚至有點神經質，其實原因只有一個，處女座的一切都要隨自己外顯的性格而轉，姑且稱之為"狀態"。處女座狀態好的時候，可以將自己聰明、細膩、能幹、溫情、幽默、有內涵等優良品質完全外展，此時他們顯得如此完美，光芒四射，並且可以表現得非常外向、健談，容易與人打成一片（這本非他們的性格）。而一旦處女座狀態不好，便會變成另一個人，甚至非常窩囊，一事無成，不過通常此時他們都躲避外在的干擾,所以讓人感覺有點間歇性自閉症) 因為同為水星守護，所以處女和雙子一樣善變，但雙子善變的是心思，處女善變的卻是情緒。

很多時候處女座要面對很多實際的瑣事，這時的處女座便不得不在冷中面對周圍世界：要麼說話做事很不自然，有做作的痕跡；要麼便極度冷漠和被動，對誰都不理不睬。其實處女座很清楚自己現在的樣子，但他們無力改變和控制自己的情緒，只能選擇瘋狂地逃避一切。

他們想的是：與其很不自然地面對你，尷尬地和你說些無關痛癢地話，或是因和平時反差太大而被人說成表裡不一，性格怪異，還不如先躲一陣子，等調節好了以後再出來。所以，在與人交往中，他們只會和不得不交流的人（實在躲不掉）或是完全陌生的人（反正無所謂）交談，而和熟悉的朋友反而疏遠。

所以.你在他心中地位越重，他躲得你越遠。特別是戀人.

而且,大家都知道處女座的人有嚴重的完美主義傾向,所以就有了所謂的\\"處女座的人最喜歡若即若離\\"。原因很簡單：他只想給你一個最好最完美的自己，而不願讓你看到他無助脆弱的一面。所以請記住，有時處女座對你冷，絕不是你說錯做錯什麼，這是他們正常的生理現象，他們只是不想讓嚴寒和冰霜傷害了你（可事實上這種做法已經傷害）。不必難過，因為他們在乎你的話，他們的內心比你還要難過、自責和內疚！他們所能做的，只希望快點調整好情緒，回到你的身邊。

正基於以上兩點，處女座有時便會表現出非常另類的行為和思維模式。他們的性格也很多來源於此：不喜主動，不善交際（也可以熱情，只是今天熱了，終有一天會冷的），不愛表現，不喜拋頭露面（萬一哪天情緒無法把握狀態不好時，豈不大失臉面），諸如此類。

關於"潔癖"——並非處女都有潔癖，很多處女座並不愛乾淨，但卻要求整潔，他們更多的是井然有序，不喜歡別人破壞他們所整理和佈置的"完美"格局。處女座更多的是有精神潔癖。一旦觸碰到他們精神上的禁區，嚴重時會表現得歇斯底里。

關於"花心"——一般說來處女座絕不花心，忠誠是他們的代名詞。異性關係多很可能是他們需要確定一個好人緣和自己有魅力，來反擊那些普遍觀點。一旦找到心中真愛，他會呵護你一輩子，只要你能給他安全感，他永不背叛，心中眼中唯你一人。尋花問柳，紅杏出牆這些事與他們絕緣（一是責任感所致，二是怕麻煩）。

關於"聰明"——不似雙子靈活機巧，不像水瓶創意非凡，也不是天蠍的那種計畫周密，處女座更多體現的是智慧。細膩、理性、好學加上十二星座裡一流的洞察力和最強的邏輯思維能力，處女座想不聰明都難。沒事少在處女座面前信口開河，隨意撒謊，很多偽紗他們一眼便能看透；也別跟他們玩什麼心計，你玩不過他們的。處女是那種可以把你賣了你還得向他道謝的類型。沒事也少跟處女座辯論，他們沒理也可找出理，甚至找出不止一條理來。處女是永遠不會吃虧的。

關於"單純"——處女座很純真，但絕不單純，他們內心複雜得讓人難以想像，很多不經意的事可能都是他們精心佈置的。處女座也總在純潔和好色之間徘徊，這一點最難說清。不過他們真正的內心是極其善良的，
寧可自己苦也不願傷害任何人，心靈如水晶一般晶瑩剔透。

關於"幽默"——都說處女座冷若冰霜，缺乏幽默。多和他們接觸吧，你會體會到什麼是冷幽默，什麼是真正的幽默，而並非品位低俗的搞笑。

關於"遲鈍"——別看你和處女座說某些提議時他們半天才反應過來，在你說好的一瞬間，他們腦子裡可能已經轉過五六個你這項提議會造成的後果（通常是消極後果）了。他們總是想得太多，絕非想得太慢。

關於"自私"——處女座的自私覺不是獅子的那種惟我獨尊，也不是水瓶的以自我為中心。處女座正因為是無私的，所以顯得自私。（能夠理解嗎？）因為處女不想傷害任何人。

關於"逃避"——由於處女座性格上的因素，他們通常會顯得壓力很大。當週遭的事物已無法掌控，或是自己的情緒無法調節好時，他們會瘋狂地逃避，墮落自己，這種狀況通常對別人無害，卻是傷害自己，讓所有愛他們的人感到心碎。不過不用太擔心，過一陣子他們自己會好的，他們天性的自我批判精神很快便會起作用。處女座一般不會徹底墮落，墮落前可能都已留有餘地，只是在等待著希望的來臨。甚至有時墮落都是做給別人看的。

關於"內涵"——處女座有涵養這一點是肯定的。在成長中不斷吸取教訓，不斷學習，取人之長來豐富自己的內涵。因為他們感覺到情緒無法把握，而這些是自己可以踏踏實實做到的，將來一定有幫助。這是他們所追求的完美主義目標。

處女座就是一個表面神秘到難以琢磨，說穿了卻又很簡單的星座。最接近神的人？可能吧，處女座喜歡這樣
來標榜自己。因為他們確實有超凡脫俗的一面。他們的內心接近了神，可是身在這個世界，不能不食人間煙火吧，所以必須得戴著一個面具活在這個世界上。

處女座喜歡和人說些曖昧的話，對心儀的對象卻不好意思表白。
處女座希望別人瞭解自己，卻又只將能公佈的那一部分對外展示。
處女座是最有責任感的人了，可很多時候卻害怕承擔責任。

*****

2008-08-12T20:18:00.002+08:00

just came back from studying.

Well, i realised I really can't study at home because I'm too tempt to do so much more unconstructive stuff. So well... went out to mug instead.

It's study season currently! so the all e students, especially e poly ppl like me hogged onto library, cafes and Mcdonald for hrs. It aint usually THAT packed. so i cant really find e good spot for myself... oh well, when did 1/2 e world became so hardworking?

Choose Mac today and studied marketing. Kinda interesting because I sat next to a grp of ah lians=.= so err, they were all in their uniforms making alot of noise and commotion about. The girls just keep on screaming and running around for dunno wad reasons also. as i try to concentrate on my marketing, they were like too distracting also. lols... but I dun really care about them la

hmm... I wonder how they will be when they become older. But, I also try to recall if I were also like them in my secondary school days. (un)fortunately no. Ok, though there were occasional crazy and rebellious times like that also. but overall still e nerdy type. hahaha, ok...back to my pt, I think everyone will change as they grow and some nonsensical stuffs that we did in e past were just a phrase that we will go thru. Looking back, i think bits and pieces of all the experiences and memories form part of what is us today. So yea, no matter what type of stupid things that we did in the past, just have a good laugh over all these crazy moment (:

2008-08-12T00:16:00.004+08:00

I'm back again ((:

well... mood was in e junk as i tried to 1st try to research my SW topics then blah blah blah then I went into e my choice. DIE* Kill me, i shouldn't be thinking about THAT when i my exams are just like 3days away.

i guess it's pointless for me here to repeat anything here. Too long and complicated also Lols, with the unppractical reality i'm thinking off now. My brain sucks, having to think so much in e first place.

Because i'm a 98% virgo. I find myself as the complicated and different creature from e others. What made matters worse is that my mindset changed a lot in the past few years. And I know, it's not flicker minded. So yea...it's either i suppress myself somemore or e great revolution to bring about the changes. Thinking is useless when I can't and won't do anything about it.

And well... enough of my 'let nature take its course' . That's mainly why I'm in this state until now. Because nothing is done. I left all to fate. And what have fate done to me? nothing. So.... back to square 1, nothing is done in my life!

Yes, i can't deny I'm upset with such small things again. Well, what i usually do is to read up on astrology or do personality test. K, i noe it's kinda strange, yet comforting isnt so? To actually have some 'things' to support you on what and why you're feeling in the manner. (I know... I'm plainly like this because I'm a virgo. Yea...and that's my character.) I guess I just need something or someone to tell me that "yes, it's perfectly fine. I'm still perfectly normal". An assurance from source would just be enough bring away all my doubts. But what ifs....what if one day that i'm no longer fine. (u noe what i mean) How would I really know when I'm unwell? The prolong...i say its emotion ruins hidden well within me, will it or has it numb myself away already? Look, no one know how I'm feeling and I keep on telling myself im okay im okay im okay..... so, what ifs???

well, enough of the day. Complicating virgo's thoughts. And i think my birthdate had something gotten do with me getting all e 98% traits of it. 14th is like exactly in e middle of 23aug and 23sep. so....thats made me a perfect virgo! Duh, virgo are perfectionist. and I say it again, being a perfect virgo is tiring. TIRING. and when we don't get what we expected, we get emo. Oh well, as for why we USUALLY don't get what we expected is always because we set high goals for ourself and pay too much attention to little spoilt details. As for how come we paid too much unecessary attention to little things, because we're sensitive. Why are we sensitive? Because we're too much concern with our ownself being 'perfect' in others' eyes. and since human can't be perfect, we will all put on a nice facade to hide our true 'inperfect' self away. Then virgos shut away from human. In their own practical lalaland. be be 'perfect'. One thing to take note, as for why virgo refuses to do anything to their own screwed life is because they're extremely cautious and they refuse to take on e responsibility or risk that comes with it. If we don't dare to try, then how to get a 'perfect' life? See, how nicely everything linked up. DUH, VIRGOS. ==

sighs- I'm tired.

Better stop all the useless thoughts, get into bed and prepare to mug for another day.

2008-08-11T20:07:00.002+08:00

Have been studying and studying for the past few days. Well... it's so unproductive. For someone who has not done a single tutorial nor pay attention in classes ever since she started the semester... well, it's already great that I'm still doing okay in grades, surprisingly. For 6mths, I just need to 2weeks to get through...how wonderful. How not it was because I know I can definitely do better. Well, I still don't know what is pulling me back from giving it my all to studies and well I don't think it's laziness in me or maybe it just can be sheer luck too.

What matters most to me?

2008-08-08T23:16:00.002+08:00

really gonna sleep after I typed out this post... my brain is almost...dying

stupid me. Studied from 12pm all the way to 9pm and i really feel my brain exploding now

and all on law somemore.

i actually intended to stopped at like 5pm because I know my brain can't take it anymore. Wanted to ask my dad to fetch me home alread, then cath passed me e clubroom key last min. Which means that I gotta stay in school until trn ends. Sighs...stupid responsibility. Well, as much as i'm sooo tired alr.. i hate wasting time and forced myself to mug...and is a horribly LONELY day.

no law tutorial in e morning so lesson starts at 10pm only. Was expecting a crowd during the time... but then i realise e road is FREAKY EMPTY! no cars, no traffic jam and I'm like e only one on e 72 bus! efma tut was also empty with 1/2 e class missing. Even our last revision lecture feels empty! and my efma teacher went talking about her 发财梦 of 8million. haha

la... why no human??? cause it's 8.08.08!

Beijing Olympic, a day before national day, last day of school, 8m toto.

lols... and a whole list of events taking place on 8/8/08. See! EVERYONE IS ON HOLS MOOD!!! and i feel damn unfair to stay in school behind alone and mug for the coming exams==

I'm like e only one alone in the school STUDYING after 6pm la. The whole NYP closed down early for celebration. STUPID TKD FIGHTERS! WHY DID THEY WANNA TRAIN!?!

double yucks-

well, can't complain more. My life is still good and my position is much better than some... but, EWW still=.=

都是自找的。

2008-08-07T20:09:00.002+08:00

hmm... i realised I just passed the 200 posts (=

Finally, my last and final Jap test is OVER. O-V-E-R!

I'm 99% sure that I fail my elective overall. Because I didn't even hand up the e-assignment and the e 3 assignment work at the end of the day which actually for like 30% of my overall marks...but sensei says NVM, no need hand up liao

as for today 60 mins e-quiz, I cannot read, cannot write, cannot listen! so much for the 6mths of lesson! Then I keep on looking into zehan's comp...lols, i thought he was slightly reliable than me XP

well, I should fail by right, but because I believe my sensei was too nice to actually fail any of us. Think she will moderate my marks at the end of the day== HOPEFULLY

nvm i cannot read, write or understand at the end of the day, it's a really fun 6mths learning journey actually! =)

Sodesu, Nihongo Sayonara! XDXD

2008-08-06T01:11:00.002+08:00

here with a post again. I realise the more stress i get to, the more I tend to do unconventional stuffs like blogging and photoshopping. Have being blogging and creating an artwork almost every single day recently. AWW, say BYE BYE to my GPA 3. ==

I stayed up to like 430pm yesterday not because to study (though i have a book under the desk) but just to create a logo for YOG logo competition! (youth olympic game) I took up like 3-4hrs just for that small logo. And I'm still not satisfied with my work ...it's well obviously something created by a kid, I doubt I can win anything at all with that ugly thing, but i guess it's worth the try after all. Hey, it's YOG! hmm... the best part about it is that its something..i can say related to my course. I really want my pmes and classmate to congrat me for my achievements. Well, I think somehow the environment I'm currently in matters ... having top athletes in your course is just different. It's always announcement of breaking records, clocking personal best, representing whichever clubs, going to whatever tournaments etc etc

Seriously, all these are making me inferior. Because I'm practically NOTHING. Nothing in the course. Not excellent in the studies, neither excellent in sports. Just hanging in the middle of nowhere... Well, as I thought, design is the only (useless) thing I found myself practically not whining about and well having an edge over classmate. But not neccessary that I'm talented in it but just because i came across that earlier. Sports designing/marketing is in fact the more interesting stuffs which i might considered venturing in the future. Ok well...the whole issue in me is that I dunno what I want and I dunno what Im good in also.

but well...one thing for sure, I do want to be someone extraordinary instead of those far too common human out there. One thing why I choose not to take business mangement though i can get in, since I thought it was too bored and too broad. I guess I really want to be indifferent from others. which neccesarily might not be a good thing. That's why, if i really found what i want in life one day, like going oversea uni to pursue a degree; i really do expect my family to support me. I know I can understand my family's most important financial concern.. but well... I guess I talk about it next time...

what can i say about all this? Unpractical reality. Dream on, huiying.

suddenly, I really wanna go back to my secondary sch to see how my dustbins look like actually. hahaha... Well, I guess I should really start taking part in all sort of design competition or project because I want money! and also a good start (in case my family really object my aspiration to fly, I still have some backup..lols)

marketing tutorial. I swear... Johnny Chia survived in NYP till date because all his students scored well in exams. No, definately not that he's a good teacher. GOSH, it's because he gave us all the hint to exam! It....so direct to such extend that I considered it as a leakage== he took the qns paper to cls and told us the exact qns that would come up. I told cath/wenxin about my marketing tut too. I did try to hold back a little still..well, alr asked them to keep it confidential among ourselves. If nt ltr ppl complain.... BF so dead, im so dead, SW so dead...the whole business management is DEAD. gahhh..

backing up my crashing comp is completed! can sleep YAYSS!-

2008-08-04T17:09:00.002+08:00

had a desire to blog even though i shld be studying now. Something just seems to be getting into my way. Can't concentrate.

am VERY BOTHERED currently. Am I need to rant, instead of being in the bed and think more.

It all started yesterday, a 5 random chat with mum was disatrous. Almost close to reducing ME to tear. Even I can't believe so either. I bet she didn't realise what she had just said had such a great impact on me. am very very very bothered totally by it now.

When my aspiration comes, I expect your to be supporting me. THE END.

The more I think, the more fed up I get.

Ask yourself what have your supported me so far in? My support does not simply mean feeding me up and ensuring that Im sill living. Your don't care about my aspiration and even if your do, your cared in the wrong way. Did your advise me on anything before? Never.

you didn't took any steps to find out what I want and what's best for me either. While others children are all getting into learning knowledge. Your just leave me to rot with the TV and comp. I knew nth in life infact. Had I picked up a skill? Did I attend any classes? No, definately not enough... yes, I do blame your till date for not exploiting the potential in me since young.

and stop bloody reminding me that your think my course can't make any money. 1st, It's untrue. 2nd, your didn't advise in the first place, so shut up. 3rd, I won't EVER pick up childish suggestion such as lawyer, teacher and doctors that your gave. 4th, not my fault for not knowing what I really want because your did nth to help. 5th, will your be happier if i choose to drop out? hahaha. I will laugh.

Back to the point, even if your don't support me, don't stop me from doing anything I like. (like as if you can and WILL). So, just lemme do things in my own way when time comes.

Shldn't be bothered by such stupid thing at the current moment. I should be aiming to get pass my final exam now... well, there's still a long time away from graduation at least...sighs-

2008-08-03T02:19:00.002+08:00

It's 7-11 again.

应该是感到一点委屈了吧, 忽然觉得很多东西都是自找的

hopefully something is worth it at the end of the day...

I'm repeatly listening to this song recently. See how songs reflect my state of mind==

達爾文
曲：蔡健雅詞：小寒

我的青春也不是没伤痕
是明白爱是信仰的延伸
甚么特征人缘还是眼神
也不会预知爱不爱的可能

保持单身忍不住又沉沦
兜着圈子来去有时苦等
人的一生感情是旋转门
转到了最后真心的就不分

有过竞争有过牺牲
被爱筛选过程
学会认真学会忠诚
适者才能生存
懂得永恒得要我们

进化成更好的人

我的青春有时还蛮单纯
相信幸福取决于爱得深
读进化论我赞成达尔文
没实力的就有淘汰的可能

我的替身已换过多少轮
记忆在旧情人心中变冷
我的一生有几道旋转门
转到了最后只剩你我没分

2008-07-31T18:07:00.003+08:00

finally, an early day for me now. Crashed a mkting lecture an hr before our exact slot so I got to return home early w/o exactly ponning. hehe...Yes, it's 6pm and is EARLY. Considered the fact that I only got home at 10+ the previous few nights.

as promised, I gonna write up a little post on my thoughts of poly life so far.

I realised that studies are not the only and most probably not the top priority in poly already. It's a bit more about life management in a complex environment (depends on how you see it). For someone that lacks social experience and is as well inadequate of it too, I guess it was a really hard breakthrough

It's been 1 and 1/2 year since I entered poly already. The beginning in which I really struggled hard to adapt everything in a total new environment. From the most simple schooling time to the complex relationship... Well, no one gonna believe that if I said that I'm used to wake up on 7am every morning even in the hols. But, yes i did. I'm practically so used to the fixed life I had already. Wake up at 6am, usually get home at 2pm, never stayed in school beyond 7pm, go to bed on 11pm.

Well, poly timing are so screwed to the sense the it's not fixed, full of uncertainty and well.. distraction. School can start as early as 8am, or as late as 4pm. I can had a 2hrs day then followed by a 7-11 life. Not forgetting to mention the always extra long break in between of classes. Oh well, this is where time management become so important. I've seen some really efficiency and some that really gone bad. When people complained that there's not enough time, did they really consider the time which they wasted away? Let's take R's day for example, she felt so stressed about the projects, which she had yet completed. To let it all out, she went to talk to friends for a couple of hrs in the night. When she got home, it's already so late but had to complete the couple of projects since deadline is the following morning. Didn't slept for the whole night and gt really upset and stressed. The whole cycle repeated itself. Another case, H. She is a professional sportplayer and has training every single day till late night. Immediately after school, she goes for training. But, she still did quite well in her work and surprising, she skipped lotsa classes also. It was only today that I found out and learn from her. If you had a lesson which ended at 12pm but you gt only a 1hr final class at 4pm. Most people (in the right mind), at least me would choose to skip that useless one hr and return to home and mug instead, but....no, don't skip. Choose to crash for a earlier lecture at 12pm! Wees, H totally pwned me in that ((: efficiency is well..something we can control actually.

Human relationship is the total crappy thing to handle. Can't control others isn't so? Unlike boring secondary school days when everyone dresses not only the same but all are also on same age group. Well, even if you don't bond well with classmate, there's always teacher to help. Everything changed for me in my Poly. Being in SW class for the whole year made me learnt a lot, SW is a class of people who were a whole lot different from me. It's abit difficult and even hurting for me intially because I really cannot understand them (they can't understand me). Eventually learnt to express myself better and controlled my emotion myself better. Really glad that I didn't choose to give up (in) because it was even worse than pure frustration. But, I eventually got over and retained my pride which is what matters most afterall. I learnt from a lot of impressive human and observed those screwed ones. Seeing different individuals and how they worked is well...highly amusing experience. Instead of avoid them like what I did in the past, I can now deal a tricky situation tactifully. Am really proud of that.

Well, I guess I might have lost some (I had not realise of course), but definitely gained a lot so far already. Well, i guess I can be a no-life human in poly easily and was at one a point of time. Because my characteristics fit all. When I got too tired with all the problem and choose to avoid them. I guess studies, unfortunately, weren't too much of a demand for me (dont really care, lol). Don't care about those fking human socialising, sch frm 9am-2pm. Home sweet home, do my homework, no tkd in the night, So relaxing ehh? I do enjoy slacking of course. But doubt if i gained any points from it. There's nothing for me to boast as a no life slacker. haha

Yes, I might had struggled so unhappily that I gave up for a change, but instead accept to learn and observe from all happenings. Learning does not mean having to change a part of yourself.

Looking back, I realised I had came so far already. Grew up.

I guess there's still a lot more for me to say about the whole thingy, another time perhaps. 14more days to exams!

2008-07-30T23:08:00.002+08:00

boo...another day of straight 14hrs in school.

Literally, it's something more than just tired. Actually more sort of demanding and challenging to handle thing in the right way. Yar yar.. i take them on (no matter what), work just come loh==

ok, life today is so long that i gonna break it into different part in this post

(part 1)

had 2 projects presentation today, so i just wear formal for the whole day. Finally the end to projects.

But infact i do have so much to blog about what happen today among me and grpmates. bear with me then.

so, the whole incident started today with rachel being late for the presentation. and it's like the last straw of tolerence for the rest too (exclude me) whom are already horribly pissed off by her because she didnt do her part yada yada etc. and grpmates apparently displayed black face to rach frm e moment she stepped in. A point of time when sus and char went out then left with me and alissa. Rach was emo-ing beside me and alissa (e most insensitive), was complaining as she worked on her ppt slide at the same thing. I...erm, submerged myself in reading .... though i feel sry for rach. Like every fault is directly toward her and only her. well, no comments.

Next, rach send a msg to all of us suddenly and told us tt she's very sorry for today. I read the msg, stared at her for a moment and continue my book. I wasn't any upset to begin with just that being the unempathy type, i tend not to know how to respond also. So yea... I think rach got so upset our reaction and went off the class and CRY. I guess rach went to tell Maria about the whole incident and the Maria went to tell Charlene. Charlene, (so called our the oldest of the grp) gt pissed & upset with all so....

Ok, inevitable. The thrashing session.

6 of us went off to a corner of school corridor and talk things out. I don't actually have much hard feeling because I not the pissed off one neither were i the one who pissed anyone off. But well...since everyone were asked to speak their true feeling out, i mention about their organising brain and inefficiency management which is quite true also. Sus says she's shocked because i never expressed anything before..lols, ok...sus and alissa says the hard things to rach :/

comes in lotsa thoeries on relationship/time management.blah blah blah. at least we cleared up some hard feeling. Took like 1/2hrs outside while char had a one to one talk with rach after i left with sus, alissa and hash for lunch. Okay, charlene always do it(:

thrashing out session is really one of the kind today.

I totally admired Charlene for her boldness and straightforwardness. Something I guess I would never do it in my whole life and there's really much for me to learn from her also ;/

130pm

(part 2)

after lunch went for a attendance taken business law seminar. Realised that my attendance for laws is already 86%-can't skip anymore. So haf to attend. haha... had a really horrible stomachache from the morning since then... and it's intolerable during the business law session. Can't help but to sleep. It's kinda rude since im sitting in the front rows and the guest speakers were all lawyer.. but..lols, Can't help it! I wished that i had paid attention also! *winks*

it's 3.30pm by then.

yar yar, NO CHOICE again but to buy panadol frm bookstore. Everything i do is no choice la. duhhh, anyway....my errm i think stomachache is gastric. It's not longer eat well and exercise well but EAT AT AND EXCERCISE AT THE RIGHT TIME! Because i ran last night without dinner, and gt too depleted of energy. Woke up and got 2 servings of breakfast instead. so...yea, i don't really eat and excercise appropriately, resulting in a spoilt body system.

went off the free access lab and prepare abit of my jap role play tmr. Then suddenly, all e computer system in the lab restarted. all the unsave work gone and everyone complained about it. Luckily I know that sch comp are so unreliable and will never do my work on it anyway. Imaging my report all gone halfway as i typed without saving...GOSH

wenxin (tt mindsweeper bully) and catherine came to entertain me in lab later. played bingo and cath won ALL games manx. duh, is there any games tt i can specialise on?? playing with them are totally crazy la

7pm

(part3)

TKD meeting. Sir vincent was expectedly late again. And commitee bitched about how to deal with him ltr. Then Vincent arrived. Talked. After he finished the part about the commitment thingy, we all hung our heads so low. sighs- because he was SO RIGHT. damn right infact... about the commitment issue etc...for once, i felt a sense of responsibilty. yea, just ONCE. the meeting is kinda productive this time rd. But cath and me were doodling and writing nonsense on the minutes also. We incorporated anything from business law/marketing/econs and all the shit we learnt in business management into it. It's just soo hilarious to keep us awake for 3hrs. might take a picture of the so wonderful minutes tt we came up with..hahaha

3straight hrs of discussing issues on club. yea, club is in such a mess actually. (slack more la, huiying.)

10pm when the meeting ended. called up dad to pick me up. can't imagine if i haf to spend another 1 more hr just to get home....

GOT HOME FINALLY.

7pm-1030pm

(END)

ok, better stop here. I wanna rant more about my feeling of POLY LIFE in the next post. cant write anymore currently... getting too late. AJA~

2008-07-29T22:37:00.002+08:00

the only reason I'm appearing offline now is because TMR is 2 major projects deadline cum presentation. I don't wanna do extra work. As simple as that.

and to answer all the questions, No. I'm no expert to complete my own task earlier. Neither did I spend any less time or efforts on my own part. Simply because I have a much organised brain than yours. What's with asking me to help you, complaining that you don't understand the qns & don't know how to do, when youtubing +msning at the same time? SHOW me why I should spend extra efforts to do something Im not supposed to. (other than cus we're in a grp== horribly lame k.) I'm not a helpful person neither empathy enough also... too bad, because I don't give a damn about it also.

I believe human will jump on every opportunity to slave me. because they're so insensitive to begin with, virgos do have low tolerance for inefficiency.

TKD is like the best excuse for me always- not to stay behind and help. Ok, I did went for TKD but only to go for a run. Wanted to workout but didnt wanna stay till too late. So yea, solo trning for myself. Ran for like 5rds the track and 1 big rd the sch. but i went to eat an upsize mac straight after that== defeat the purpose. HAHA. Gt father to fetch me home early((:

I finally found the perfect place to study! -downstair of my house! The most conducive environment I found so far. It's outdoor, beside the pool, under the shade, nice deck, nicely sculptured green plant, comfortable chair, no shaky table, and most importantly, no human. A good environment just make studying much enjoyable. Well, the bad point is...i enjoyed the comfort so much that I feel like sleeping after a few chapters in :/

was arguing with dad over why he shouldn't waste the incentive given by the company for himself and should have given to me instead.HAHA.. it's such as waste for the company to give incentive for sporting goods because my dad dont excercise! NEVER. even if means to pay maintainance fee for that huge pool and small gym monthy== He had never used them once and will never use them in the future i reckon. back to main pt, he dont need money to buy sporting goods so why dont he leave the money for his ahem* sports and wellness daughter?? WAHAHA

but on second thoughts, i remembered i bought some crappy equipments last yr with the money. One stupid fat gym ball, a overpriced yoga mat and a useless goggle. Erm...wait, goggle is the most useful not because i go swimming but because it took up the least space! That grey gym ball took up a reasonable amt of space in my half-ed bedroom now, (at least it matched my purple room) and like the shape suggested, that round dumbie caused me to fall not so long ago; Green yoga mat threw into waredrobe ever since I moved in. Ok...upon reflect, i conclude that i threw daddy money away too. XP

2 presentation tmr! then it's my final Jap ICAs... END, can finally concentrate on studying. EXAMS! HOLS! TEP! Got a job offer during the hols to work at the F1! Maybe slacker me will take up the offer this time round XP

2008-07-27T13:45:00.002+08:00

ok, here i come to blog because Im too restle ss to do other things also.

waking up and getting off the bed such a...task, for me in the past 2 morning. Can't you believe it? My whole body ache from the head to toes...yea, due to the fri trn session. Even turning the wrist hurts...and those bruises are multicoloring and growing bigger by themselves. I don't think anyone won't believe if I said I got into a fight...oh wait, i really did got into a fight==

nvm, back to my falling body which had not yet fell apart only

There's such a word to describe myself...OLD.

and I realised I tend to sleep the whole of every sat. Always woke up like past noon, and slept again in e evening for a few more hrs. Before I knew it, sat is GONE. I guess I was too tired after 1 hectic week. But Im glad that there's no school on mon..so it's still a 2 day breaks for me.

wanna go running though :/

provided that I study my BF first. Topics seem pretty easy after browsing the lecture slides..but..well well, I shall see how first.

2008-07-25T23:39:00.003+08:00

It's Fri! and my hectic finally finally drew to an end, only to have a MORE hectic life ahead.

Boo... it's ICT project, ESW project, Business Finance ICA, Jap Role Play, Jap E-Quiz and then I can offically start mugging for my semestral exams. ok..in another word, Im this busy for the upcoming week infact.

Demanding ehh... EXAMS will commence on the 14th Aug. End on 22 Aug.

anyway, I wonder if i can REALLY scrap through this semester, of which i successfully done so for the past 2 sem though... argh, finance and EFMA is e killer.

Had EFMA test today. Decide to skip e morning lessons and went to library and STUDY. I was so not really yet. 6 straight hrs since 8am. Did like 4 exam papers... I thought I was pretty much ready by then for e test. So WRONG. Tests were lik so different frm my exam papers. I seriously wonder what e lecturers are thinking by setting such wrong things. It's not only difficult and most importantly, it's don't prepare us for exam! My first EFMA ICA which covers e 1st 3 lectures are not in exam (luckily) and my 2nd one was that rubbish paper...and if i fail this again (most probably), Im will be in a so dangerous situation of repeating module. OMG.

went for TKD. time for some workout finally. Quite fun though Im like e only female trainee today. cept for mdn Jolene who came ltr on. But training along with ONLY e seniors feels good. Just keep on acting pro and play around ourselves trying those chim techniques. Sparred with Jolene as a mean to prepare her for national.. kinda fun to learn from black belts. though i suffered numerous SEE-ABLE bruises again afterward. Fine, gonna show off to wenxin when i see her next week, or alissa, hahaha...all sadists unfortuately. U want bruises?? come to me! XP

ok, new thoughts recently. There can't be too much 'WHY' in your world. Some parts you just have to...let it go, give it a pass, get it over. Got this after a classmate asked my national gymnast why she trained so hard (like every single day after sch till 9++). Not for 'getting better' in sg if your get what i mean, not for passion else she could just take it up as a recreation..then what?

I guess there's no ans to that. Everytime I keep on questioning myself why did i join Sports and Wellness, why did I choose TKD, why am I feeling this way, why did I do that thing....well, life would be tough if i pursue an ans for all these...thinking through what I had done ALREADY is just too tired and wasteful in life. Well, i can put it into a word that... I might regret for not thinking through a decision... but i can't change anything just by thinking...ok,take it that way,

if I really went ahead to dropout from SW then because character really dont fit in; badly, and mainly because i feel that I would be better off if i do others courses (yes, i still feel the same NOW) but... were all these the 'right' ans as to 'why'? I realised that there's no absolute right or wrong in everythin we do in life. And yes, I do feel that choosing SW isnt the 'wrong' choice either. At least for now, Im convinced that it would be okay with me to take sports management as a career for life. So why make life difficult for myself by constantly reminding the 'why' of my choice? Izzit really that important? Is why 'Im feeling this way' so important also?

Some things have no explaination. Some things need no further explaination. Thoughts might be free, action come with a consequence. The risk bearing it...oh well, sometime comes too high. No guts to take them in also... shall lessen the stress myself by thinking less then..jaaaa

I think my brain is as crappy as my 3 layers taped laptop which charger had fallen loose and I haf to tighten them like microwave plastic wraps to the laptop. Unglam. Well, perfect time for e batt to fall loose anyway. I'll be damn pissed off to bring to school or even switch on the laptop. That meant no comp till my exams are over! I seriously need to cut my useless online time for the sake of studies. 3more weeks! OMG again...

-off to mug in my purple dream! MUAHAHHA

2008-07-23T07:32:00.002+08:00

ok, I shall blog (:

sooooooooo... I'm in school this early again, totally forget that there's NO MORNING LESSON until i reached school and joyce reminded on msn...ewww

so yea? what am I up in sch so early in e first place!?! /:

talked with FW abit last night and somehow I opened myself abit more. Yes, I guess it's really okay to dislike one, feel mean, be evil or bitchy or any sort of social actions which would be deemed as unacceptable by urself. Because we're human and we have feelings. We would feel hurt afterall. but it's OKAY, totally. What matters most, from what I learnt, is not to hurt anyone, especially those whom i loved, because I can't control myself. I don't want them to see me losing control of mysef because it reflect badly on me also. And yes, it would mean putting on a reasonable amount of facade if required. I guess that is what I've been always doing. I don't show my unhappiness in front of people, and at times I feel myself wicked to actually bitch alone. Ok, it's somehow like backstabber, faker...but somehow, my motive is much simpler, that it...not to hurt anyone. SHOW that you're a simple person. I realised...it's all OKAY.

was viewing some albums in FB and realised all e old pics uploaded by classmates. Suddenly, I find a lot of ME in there. Well, I always have to preception that I didn't take much pics with them in e first place and always tend to leave out myself for events... Well, I realised that perhaps it's just me who refuse to take a look back at all these...seemingly memorable events. But in fact, I actually appreciate all these.. As I take a look at all e photos, all are actually wonderful, crazy and genuine times I had with them.

I'm loss at words for what to say actually...有些事是值得去纪念的吧？

ok, to classmate:

把偷拍我的相片还我好吗 ((:

I'm sure there's MANY MANY MANY MORE! ~

2008-07-21T10:47:00.002+08:00

Woke up rather early today...

Monday BLUES, feeling so helpless and down

I reached to a conclusion that I have to make do with all these things in life. Because that what I choosed. Something are best when you don't think about them. I guess it sucks completely when you think through and realised that there's no other alternative way out but to accept. ACCEPT. no matter if I can take it or not..

i always ended up blaming myself for everything that occurs...tired, really tired. Tired of playing that perfectionist infront of others. Seriously, I do have feeling... I don't show doesn't mean that I don't care...

Anyway, there's always a FATE to put blame on, or my lousy LUCK. It makes me feel...slightly better at least. There's nothing i can do to change them, at least.

2008-07-18T01:11:00.004+08:00

I took e test 2 times...to erm, test its reliablity? hahaha,

credit goes here

http://www.personalitytest.net/

Extraversion...............0

Friendliness.............1

Gregariousness...........2

Assertiveness............8

Activity Level...........42

Excitement-Seeking.......8

Cheerfulness.............17

Agreeableness..............4

Trust....................27

Morality.................7

Altruism.................1

Cooperation..............27

Modesty..................29

Sympathy.................18

Conscientiousness..........64

Self-Efficacy............45

Orderliness..............49

Dutifulness..............54

Achievement-Striving.....22

Self-Discipline..........63

Cautiousness.............98

Neuroticism................35

Anxiety..................66

Anger....................0

Depression...............32

Self-Consciousness.......75

Immoderation.............44

Vulnerability............46

Openess to experience.....38

Imagination..............51

Artistic Interests.......40

Emotionality.............37

Adventurousness..........19

Intellect................49

Liberalism...............59

2008-07-18T00:17:00.004+08:00

Ok, I'm forever seem to be taking personality test... and this gonna be a long long one ahead. don't ask why I have so much time on hand...I took like an hr for the test...tsk tsk...jaaa, it's meant for myself anyway, don't think anyone can read e whole long chunk either==

Extraversion
Extraversion is marked by pronounced engagement with the external world. Extraverts enjoy being with people, are full of energy, and often experience positive emotions. They tend to be enthusiastic, action-oriented, individuals who are likely to say "Yes!" or "Let's go!" to opportunities for excitement. In groups they like to talk, assert themselves, and draw attention to themselves.

Introverts lack the exuberance, energy, and activity levels of extraverts. They tend to be quiet, low-key, deliberate, and disengaged from the social world. Their lack of social involvement should not be interpreted as shyness or depression; the introvert simply needs less stimulation than an extravert and prefers to be alone. The independence and reserve of the introvert is sometimes mistaken as unfriendliness or arrogance. In reality, an introvert who scores high on the agreeableness dimension will not seek others out but will be quite pleasant when approached.

Domain/Facet........... Score

Extraversion...............2

Friendliness.............3

Gregariousness...........7

Assertiveness............6

Activity Level...........34

Excitement-Seeking.......17

Cheerfulness.............1

Your score on Extraversion is low, indicating you are introverted, reserved, and quiet. You enjoy solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends.

Extraversion Facets

Friendliness.Friendly people genuinely like other people and openly demonstrate positive feelings toward others. They make friends quickly and it is easy for them to form close, intimate relationships. Low scorers on Friendliness are not necessarily cold and hostile, but they do not reach out to others and are perceived as distant and reserved. Your level of friendliness is low.
Gregariousness. Gregarious people find the company of others pleasantly stimulating and rewarding. They enjoy the excitement of crowds. Low scorers tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. They do not necessarily dislike being with people sometimes, but their need for privacy and time to themselves is much greater than for individuals who score high on this scale. Your level of gregariousness is low.
Assertiveness. High scorers Assertiveness like to speak out, take charge, and direct the activities of others. They tend to be leaders in groups. Low scorers tend not to talk much and let others control the activities of groups. Your level of assertiveness is low.
Activity Level. Active individuals lead fast-paced, busy lives. They move about quickly, energetically, and vigorously, and they are involved in many activities. People who score low on this scale follow a slower and more leisurely, relaxed pace. Your activity level is average.
Excitement-Seeking. High scorers on this scale are easily bored without high levels of stimulation. They love bright lights and hustle and bustle. They are likely to take risks and seek thrills. Low scorers are overwhelmed by noise and commotion and are adverse to thrill-seeking. Your level of excitement-seeking is low.
Cheerfulness. This scale measures positive mood and feelings, not negative emotions (which are a part of the Neuroticism domain). Persons who score high on this scale typically experience a range of positive feelings, including happiness, enthusiasm, optimism, and joy. Low scorers are not as prone to such energetic, high spirits. Your level of positive emotions is low.

Agreeableness

Agreeableness reflects individual differences in concern with cooperation and social harmony. Agreeable individuals value getting along with others. They are therefore considerate, friendly, generous, helpful, and willing to compromise their interests with others'. Agreeable people also have an optimistic view of human nature. They believe people are basically honest, decent, and trustworthy.

Disagreeable individuals place self-interest above getting along with others. They are generally unconcerned with others' well-being, and therefore are unlikely to extend themselves for other people. Sometimes their skepticism about others' motives causes them to be suspicious, unfriendly, and uncooperative.

Agreeableness is obviously advantageous for attaining and maintaining popularity. Agreeable people are better liked than disagreeable people. On the other hand, agreeableness is not useful in situations that require tough or absolute objective decisions. Disagreeable people can make excellent scientists, critics, or soldiers.

Domain/Facet........... Score

Agreeableness..............10

Trust....................19

Morality.................25

Altruism.................3

Cooperation..............52

Modesty..................45

Sympathy.................0

Your score on Agreeableness is low, indicating less concern with others' needs Than with your own. People see you as tough, critical, and uncompromising.

Agreeableness Facets

Trust. A person with high trust assumes that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions. Persons low in trust see others as selfish, devious, and potentially dangerous. Your level of trust is low.
Morality. High scorers on this scale see no need for pretense or manipulation when dealing with others and are therefore candid, frank, and sincere. Low scorers believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. People find it relatively easy to relate to the straightforward high-scorers on this scale. They generally find it more difficult to relate to the unstraightforward low-scorers on this scale. It should be made clear that low scorers are not unprincipled or immoral; they are simply more guarded and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth. Your level of morality is low.
Altruism. Altruistic people find helping other people genuinely rewarding. Consequently, they are generally willing to assist those who are in need. Altruistic people find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice. Low scorers on this scale do not particularly like helping those in need. Requests for help feel like an imposition rather than an opportunity for self-fulfillment. Your level of altruism is low.
Cooperation. Individuals who score high on this scale dislike confrontations. They are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny their own needs in order to get along with others. Those who score low on this scale are more likely to intimidate others to get their way. Your level of compliance is average.
Modesty. High scorers on this scale do not like to claim that they are better than other people. In some cases this attitude may derive from low self-confidence or self-esteem. Nonetheless, some people with high self-esteem find immodesty unseemly. Those who are willing to describe themselves as superior tend to be seen as disagreeably arrogant by other people. Your level of modesty is average.
Sympathy. People who score high on this scale are tenderhearted and compassionate. They feel the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity. Low scorers are not affected strongly by human suffering. They pride themselves on making objective judgments based on reason. They are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy. Your level of tender-mindedness is low.

Conscientiousness

Conscientiousness concerns the way in which we control, regulate, and direct our impulses. Impulses are not inherently bad; occasionally time constraints require a snap decision, and acting on our first impulse can be an effective response. Also, in times of play rather than work, acting spontaneously and impulsively can be fun. Impulsive individuals can be seen by others as colorful, fun-to-be-with, and zany.

Nonetheless, acting on impulse can lead to trouble in a number of ways. Some impulses are antisocial. Uncontrolled antisocial acts not only harm other members of society, but also can result in retribution toward the perpetrator of such impulsive acts. Another problem with impulsive acts is that they often produce immediate rewards but undesirable, long-term consequences. Examples include excessive socializing that leads to being fired from one's job, hurling an insult that causes the breakup of an important relationship, or using pleasure-inducing drugs that eventually destroy one's health.

Impulsive behavior, even when not seriously destructive, diminishes a person's effectiveness in significant ways. Acting impulsively disallows contemplating alternative courses of action, some of which would have been wiser than the impulsive choice. Impulsivity also sidetracks people during projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Accomplishments of an impulsive person are therefore small, scattered, and inconsistent.

A hallmark of intelligence, what potentially separates human beings from earlier life forms, is the ability to think about future consequences before acting on an impulse. Intelligent activity involves contemplation of long-range goals, organizing and planning routes to these goals, and persisting toward one's goals in the face of short-lived impulses to the contrary. The idea that intelligence involves impulse control is nicely captured by the term prudence, an alternative label for the Conscientiousness domain. Prudent means both wise and cautious. Persons who score high on the Conscientiousness scale are, in fact, perceived by others as intelligent.

The benefits of high conscientiousness are obvious. Conscientious individuals avoid trouble and achieve high levels of success through purposeful planning and persistence. They are also positively regarded by others as intelligent and reliable. On the negative side, they can be compulsive perfectionists and workaholics. Furthermore, extremely conscientious individuals might be regarded as stuffy and boring. Unconscientious people may be criticized for their unreliability, lack of ambition, and failure to stay within the lines, but they will experience many short-lived pleasures and they will never be called stuffy.

Domain/Facet........... Score

Conscientiousness..........55

Self-Efficacy............28

Orderliness..............47

Dutifulness..............62

Achievement-Striving.....24

Self-Discipline..........58

Cautiousness.............89

Your score on Conscientiousness is average. This means you are reasonably reliable, organized, and self-controlled.

Conscientiousness Facets

Self-Efficacy. Self-Efficacy describes confidence in one's ability to accomplish things. High scorers believe they have the intelligence (common sense), drive, and self-control necessary for achieving success. Low scorers do not feel effective, and may have a sense that they are not in control of their lives. Your level of self-efficacy is low.
Orderliness. Persons with high scores on orderliness are well-organized. They like to live according to routines and schedules. They keep lists and make plans. Low scorers tend to be disorganized and scattered. Your level of orderliness is average.
Dutifulness. This scale reflects the strength of a person's sense of duty and obligation. Those who score high on this scale have a strong sense of moral obligation. Low scorers find contracts, rules, and regulations overly confining. They are likely to be seen as unreliable or even irresponsible. Your level of dutifulness is average.
Achievement-Striving. Individuals who score high on this scale strive hard to achieve excellence. Their drive to be recognized as successful keeps them on track toward their lofty goals. They often have a strong sense of direction in life, but extremely high scores may be too single-minded and obsessed with their work. Low scorers are content to get by with a minimal amount of work, and might be seen by others as lazy. Your level of achievement striving is low.
Self-Discipline. Self-discipline-what many people call will-power-refers to the ability to persist at difficult or unpleasant tasks until they are completed. People who possess high self-discipline are able to overcome reluctance to begin tasks and stay on track despite distractions. Those with low self-discipline procrastinate and show poor follow-through, often failing to complete tasks-even tasks they want very much to complete. Your level of self-discipline is average.
Cautiousness. Cautiousness describes the disposition to think through possibilities before acting. High scorers on the Cautiousness scale take their time when making decisions. Low scorers often say or do first thing that comes to mind without deliberating alternatives and the probable consequences of those alternatives. Your level of cautiousness is high.

Neuroticism

Freud originally used the term neurosis to describe a condition marked by mental distress, emotional suffering, and an inability to cope effectively with the normal demands of life. He suggested that everyone shows some signs of neurosis, but that we differ in our degree of suffering and our specific symptoms of distress. Today neuroticism refers to the tendency to experience negative feelings. Those who score high on Neuroticism may experience primarily one specific negative feeling such as anxiety, anger, or depression, but are likely to experience several of these emotions. People high in neuroticism are emotionally reactive. They respond emotionally to events that would not affect most people, and their reactions tend to be more intense than normal. They are more likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening, and minor frustrations as hopelessly difficult. Their negative emotional reactions tend to persist for unusually long periods of time, which means they are often in a bad mood. These problems in emotional regulation can diminish a neurotic's ability to think clearly, make decisions, and cope effectively with stress.

At the other end of the scale, individuals who score low in neuroticism are less easily upset and are less emotionally reactive. They tend to be calm, emotionally stable, and free from persistent negative feelings. Freedom from negative feelings does not mean that low scorers experience a lot of positive feelings; frequency of positive emotions is a component of the Extraversion domain.

Domain/Facet........... Score

Neuroticism................44

Anxiety..................62

Anger....................18

Depression...............64

Self-Consciousness.......74

Immoderation.............19

Vulnerability............47

Your score on Neuroticism is average, indicating that your level of emotional reactivity is typical of the general population. Stressful and frustrating situations are somewhat upsetting to you, but you are generally able to get over these feelings and cope with these situations.

Neuroticism Facets

Anxiety. The "fight-or-flight" system of the brain of anxious individuals is too easily and too often engaged. Therefore, people who are high in anxiety often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. They may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. They feel tense, jittery, and nervous. Persons low in Anxiety are generally calm and fearless. Your level of anxiety is average.
Anger. Persons who score high in Anger feel enraged when things do not go their way. They are sensitive about being treated fairly and feel resentful and bitter when they feel they are being cheated. This scale measures the tendency to feel angry; whether or not the person expresses annoyance and hostility depends on the individual's level on Agreeableness. Low scorers do not get angry often or easily. Your level of anger is low.
Depression. This scale measures the tendency to feel sad, dejected, and discouraged. High scorers lack energy and have difficult initiating activities. Low scorers tend to be free from these depressive feelings. Your level of depression is average.
Self-Consciousness. Self-conscious individuals are sensitive about what others think of them. Their concern about rejection and ridicule cause them to feel shy and uncomfortable abound others. They are easily embarrassed and often feel ashamed. Their fears that others will criticize or make fun of them are exaggerated and unrealistic, but their awkwardness and discomfort may make these fears a self-fulfilling prophecy. Low scorers, in contrast, do not suffer from the mistaken impression that everyone is watching and judging them. They do not feel nervous in social situations. Your level or self-consciousness is high.
Immoderation. Immoderate individuals feel strong cravings and urges that they have difficulty resisting. They tend to be oriented toward short-term pleasures and rewards rather than long- term consequences. Low scorers do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find themselves tempted to overindulge. Your level of immoderation is low.
Vulnerability. High scorers on Vulnerability experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. Low scorers feel more poised, confident, and clear-thinking when stressed. Your level of vulnerability is average.

Openness to Experience

Openness to Experience describes a dimension of cognitive style that distinguishes imaginative, creative people from down-to-earth, conventional people. Open people are intellectually curious, appreciative of art, and sensitive to beauty. They tend to be, compared to closed people, more aware of their feelings. They tend to think and act in individualistic and nonconforming ways. Intellectuals typically score high on Openness to Experience; consequently, this factor has also been called Culture or Intellect. Nonetheless, Intellect is probably best regarded as one aspect of openness to experience. Scores on Openness to Experience are only modestly related to years of education and scores on standard intelligent tests.

Another characteristic of the open cognitive style is a facility for thinking in symbols and abstractions far removed from concrete experience. Depending on the individual's specific intellectual abilities, this symbolic cognition may take the form of mathematical, logical, or geometric thinking, artistic and metaphorical use of language, music composition or performance, or one of the many visual or performing arts. People with low scores on openness to experience tend to have narrow, common interests. They prefer the plain, straightforward, and obvious over the complex, ambiguous, and subtle. They may regard the arts and sciences with suspicion, regarding these endeavors as abstruse or of no practical use. Closed people prefer familiarity over novelty; they are conservative and resistant to change.

Openness is often presented as healthier or more mature by psychologists, who are often themselves open to experience. However, open and closed styles of thinking are useful in different environments. The intellectual style of the open person may serve a professor well, but research has shown that closed thinking is related to superior job performance in police work, sales, and a number of service occupations.

Domain/Facet........... Score

Openness to experience.....38

Imagination..............47

Artistic Interests.......40

Emotionality.............53

Adventurousness..........17

Intellect................59

Liberalism...............35

Your score on Openness to Experience is average, indicating you enjoy tradition but are willing to try new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual.

Openness Facets

Imagination. To imaginative individuals, the real world is often too plain and ordinary. High scorers on this scale use fantasy as a way of creating a richer, more interesting world. Low scorers are on this scale are more oriented to facts than fantasy. Your level of imagination is average.
Artistic Interests. High scorers on this scale love beauty, both in art and in nature. They become easily involved and absorbed in artistic and natural events. They are not necessarily artistically trained nor talented, although many will be. The defining features of this scale are interest in, and appreciation of natural and artificial beauty. Low scorers lack aesthetic sensitivity and interest in the arts. Your level of artistic interests is average.
Emotionality. Persons high on Emotionality have good access to and awareness of their own feelings. Low scorers are less aware of their feelings and tend not to express their emotions openly. Your level of emotionality is average.
Adventurousness. High scorers on adventurousness are eager to try new activities, travel to foreign lands, and experience different things. They find familiarity and routine boring, and will take a new route home just because it is different. Low scorers tend to feel uncomfortable with change and prefer familiar routines. Your level of adventurousness is low.
Intellect. Intellect and artistic interests are the two most important, central aspects of openness to experience. High scorers on Intellect love to play with ideas. They are open-minded to new and unusual ideas, and like to debate intellectual issues. They enjoy riddles, puzzles, and brain teasers. Low scorers on Intellect prefer dealing with either people or things rather than ideas. They regard intellectual exercises as a waste of time. Intellect should not be equated with intelligence. Intellect is an intellectual style, not an intellectual ability, although high scorers on Intellect score slightly higher than low-Intellect individuals on standardized intelligence tests. Your level of intellect is average.
Liberalism. Psychological liberalism refers to a readiness to challenge authority, convention, and traditional values. In its most extreme form, psychological liberalism can even represent outright hostility toward rules, sympathy for law-breakers, and love of ambiguity, chaos, and disorder. Psychological conservatives prefer the security and stability brought by conformity to tradition. Psychological liberalism and conservatism are not identical to political affiliation, but certainly incline individuals toward certain political parties. Your level of liberalism is average.

2008-07-16T22:23:00.003+08:00

I swear I won't be getting pass Weds without camwhoring ==

Was whining since 1pm after sch ended that I WANNA GO HOME

WANNA GO HOME, WANNA GO HOME.... REALLY WANNA GO HOME.

But project mates insist me to stay, stay, STAY.

so yea...bad mood=(

well... it's e same old long story if I really wanna explain how i gt into a bad mood into first place.

but I totally HATE how people says thing that I'm a rich brat or something like I'm relying on my parents for all my spendings. Seriously, I dont even splurge and I don't ask for extra money also. People that knew me well enough should know HOW MUCH I SAVED. And to begin with, just because I stayed in a condo don't mean anything, (which i don't know how its a woohoo issue to your in the first place) be shocked at how thrifty my family can get to. That's MY upbringing. Don't use assumption and generalisation on me with all e unfactual stuffs and the fact that your don't know me well also. I don't like people who don't think deep enough.

back to projects-

because simply I hate the inefficiency in myself and I'm not having fun either. So is just sitting there and staring at the potted plant in front of me, refusing to start work in anywhere.

Charlene was damn nice to help me to all e business law crap as i continue starring into e potted plants.

Well, I think starring at plants healed me...

Alissa started being so bored and took photos of herself with sus's camera, then ME... then e whole gang joined in e camwhore fun. Ok, felt SOOOOOO much better eventually with those camwhoring acts. Wait, we called it e de-stress mtd. lols...

But somehow, we sort of did something for the day.

Went home and slept.

For once I feel like a design student because I actually have PS assignement now to do for those projects also.

ok, it's such a retarded day overall. PS here i come! xD

2008-07-12T14:49:00.002+08:00

I realised that I shouldn't had done so yesterday...no matter what...

because it hurts myself and others too. I tried thinking it through last night... but I somehow conclude that I've no choice. No choice to control how I feel. I did all I could already, like excusing myself away when I know that I can't take them anymore...

But how do I explain myself for all these?

Went off venting silently again. Doesn't matter much, but I didn't expect one to find me out in that place. Like someone trample into your own world...Panicked that the door just opened but I just smiled and I thought I was EVEN friendly. Lights were off because I wanna sleep, targets were there because I want training, outside were too hot and noisy so I went in. RUBBISHEST. But...convincing enough:/

Look, my ability to put on a front is... speechless

ok, so she left soon and i continue what I was doing, but i were more on training purpose this time round, till my hand accidentally knocked into the metal trolley. Aliah came in while I applied medicine, then more ppl whom i liked entered clubroom. End of story.

Felt so much better then I went off to meet my MT gang. was quite fun anyway ((:

ohh, sucks when parents went oversea and no-one to control my diet. In like 3 days parents left...i skipped 3 breakfasts, 2 lunches and 1 dinner. I'm spoiling my body in this way

took a personal test frm a clsmates blog..and i think its quite true to a certain extend. I tried it for 2 times, before I typed this blog and now that I typed this post up... but they somehow talk about e same thing.

its damn accurate T.T

http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/

1st trail

****

You are longing for a little love and tenderness. At present you are feeling very sensitive and need a sympathetic shoulder to lean on. You don't need any further stresses, strains or arguments so take a deep breath and relax.

You are not be feeling so good at this time. Everything seems to be getting on top of you. What you need is a rest from all of the the present trials and tribulations in peaceful surroundings and with someone - male or female, it doesn't really matter - who can really understand you and appreciates your needs.

Everyone has to compromise at times and circumstances are such that at this time you are feeling the need to do just that. Put all of your hopes on the back burner and let matters flow for a time - forgo some of the things you want. The good times are just around the corner.

All of the stress and strains resulting from disappointment have led to agitation and anxiety. You have been going out of your way to make a good impression, but you have reservations as to the likelihood of succeeding. You feel that you have a right to accomplish all that you set your mind on but you have become helpless and distressed when circumstances have gone against you. The idea of failure is most upsetting and this can even mean utter dejection. You see yourself as a scapegoat and you feel everyone in your sphere of influence has tried to take undue advantage of you. You are trying to convince yourself that your failure to achieve standing and recognition is not of your making but indeed of those around you.

Sometimes one fears that its not worth formulating new ideas and projects because whatever you seem to have done in the past has never worked out and you are tired of, as they say, banging your head against a brick wall. No one seems to care. So now you are trying to get away from it all by withdrawing into a 'fantasy land' but unfortunately 'fantasy land' is just that and sooner or later you will have to return to reality so why delay the inevitable? When you do return, you will find that the situation is not as tough as perhaps you thought it was.

****

2nd trail:

You are seeking protection against anything which might seem to be exhausting you or tiring you out. It would appear that you are seeking a life of security and physical ease, free from any problem or disturbance.

You don't feel as if you can go it on your own anymore. You don't want to be taken for granted. You need to be recognised as a 'caring person' and it could be that you are searching to establish a relationship, not necessarily with someone new, but with that someone special who could feel the same way as you do.

You are not an argumentative sort of person and 'rather than fight - you'd switch' (an old cigarette ad cliche). But when you try to assert yourself - as sometimes you may try to do - you meet with so much resistance and effrontery that manifests itself so obviously that you become hurt, indignant and resentful. So in order to have peace and quiet you tend to become inhibited. You keep it all to yourself but deep down, you 'feel' and 'hurt' a lot.

Your stress and anxiety are a result of an emotional disappointment. It could well be that the emotional relationship is no longer running smoothly and you have come to the end of your tether. On the one hand you would like to free yourself from this relationship altogether, yet on the other hand, you don't want to lose anything nor risk the uncertainty of throwing away something - something that's precious, something that could be the 'Real Thing'. Perhaps for the first time in your life you really don't know which way to go and it is these contradictory emotions that are causing you the untold stress. You are pretending to the world that you don't care but even this air of pretence is causing you much heartache.

You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.

****

怨恨中的美感

2008-07-10T01:58:00.003+08:00

Okay, the aftermath:

created some emo quote/lines, as inspired by Jessie too, happy? (=

噪音不停地在我耳边反复环绕，乱了我的节奏。复杂的旋律你解吗？

闭上眼睛，逃不过人们流言蜚语，被刺伤的心灵宛如跌入了玫瑰园。

那滴落的眼泪承载了多少回忆，我会让它淡化成空气，顺着云散去。

折了翅膀的鹰会继续飞翔，我败下的尊严依然可贵。

─怨恨中的美感，你上瘾了吗？

oh yes, creating a poem after an angsty post is also a beauty right? =)

2008-07-09T20:07:00.000+08:00

It's a terrible day for me. So it would also a angsy post ahead.
My mood changed terribly fast. In the morning, I was all well in sch, my pm was still 'I like the morning' and also playing msn games with friends.
But I didn't what gotten into me afterward that I feel DOWN, really down.
I guess I'm overly skeptical about everything today. I know it's just some terribly small matters. Not even worth mentioning these. But I hate it, really hate it that when someone else tried intruding my privacy. Oh wait, did they, in the first place?
First come a request to burn cd on my laptop, then a request to check email, then a request to view examtimetable, then a request to borrow my ipod then a request this...then a request that...
Im...totally..PISSED
Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I know that I can't be THIS selfish and be pissed that easily in such little things. I hate myself for doing so either. But I just keep on thinking that people might be peeking at my chat convos, reading my email, accessing this blog, opening my folders, stealing my notes... I valued privacy, personal space, a lot. But I guess it's just me being too sensitive. No people do that. Right?

Most importantly, I can't pull a face in front of human. Not a virgo trait. I'm used of hiding all my emotion so well within me already. No one can tell. Not even a one. Insensitive creatures.
And people just took you for granted. Took ME for granted, as a fool who accept everything, good or bad, that comes along. I don't show the unwillingness in me and all these accumulate deep down in me. I bear grudge.

Perhaps life is too much hectic for me these few days or that I enjoyed myself too much in the past. Or that I got too much consideration to make AFTER my relationship with classmates got better on. Projects are seriously killing me. Its never ending.
1 S&W, 1 Marketing, 1 finance, 2 ICT, 1 Business Law, 1 Jap
all waiting to be due in the coming few weeks.
And I keep on thinking that everyone relied too much on me already. Yes, I THINK I can't take it more. Everyone is like WAITING for me to complete my work first. There's still more projects coming up, especially the ICT project which I inevitably had to help.

I can't take up 20/55 report write-up in the 6 person mktmgt grp project. Just too much on my part already. And I DON'T get it when your say, "you no need to do business law liao, we help you find already, you do more on the Marketing then..."
WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF

DONT RUSH ME. I hate to be rush because I HAD more discipline than anyone else. Don't ask me to do this, don't ask me to do that. Even so, TELL me nicely. I work by my tempo. Teamwork is just not ME.

sorry, sorry, sorry,
because the main problem IS me. Just me..having some serious characters problem within myself.. I'm helplessly about that too...I can only released all the frustration and anger in me ON myself. Who knows exactly how many times I thumped my knuckles on the wall or onto the bottom of the table in class today already. Or how much tempted I was to send my keys flying toward the glass door everytime I reached gate to home, or simply just smash the mirror everything I got angry with myself...
TKD was an excuse. I jolly well know why the bruises never cleared off...

Oh well, guess I just too tired recently. And I keep on wondering why I refused to set this blog private despite some of the contents that shouldn't be seen in the first place at all. Or that my blog can be traced very EASILY.
well, because I blogged with my own conscious.
I use to keep a blog on wretchcc but ended up locking almost all the posts because most of the contents shouldn't be seen by some. What's the use?
I'm clear of everything that I wrote. It's MY thoughts. All blogging and writing online is like the only place where I need no put on a facade to anything more. I hate hiding myself, too perfectly..i think..

once again, sorry for the angsty contents. It's not something that I would write also, ocasionally.
I woke up to a nap, feeling much better already.

2008-07-05T21:50:00.002+08:00

Sleep my life away-

sooo...my wonderful sat is gone just by sleeping! I woke up only at 12noon, awake for a few hrs and went to sleep again at 3pm all the way until 8pm.

im probably this tired recently.

Its wasn't my intention also. My week was that hectic.

well, i woke up to mother's screaming. I didnt even know what's happening in the first place. She was saying unreasonable stuffs such if I had dinner now, I won't be able to bathe for the night. I was like WTF?

What right does she have to control my life in such STUPID way?

Then she started saying how much she hate my screwed time managment etc. Is like how screwed can that be? I didn't wake up on time to have dinner, I didn't wake up on time to bathe. tsk tsk...and when i went to bathe, then i realise family switched off the water heater. DAMMIT.

nvm, I didnt and won't talk back or watsoever.

Grading tmr. will be a officially BLUE TIP then! I probably pass not no double for me. I actually very much want to go out with TKD peeps since its like the first grading aftermath with e freshies. But, unfortunately...nope.

Didn't i realise that my left arm is heavily bruised after yesterday session. Oh well...whoever that that kicked my elbow SO hard are probably more unlucky than me.

organising a meeting with friends can be really a bitch also. Complicated.

nvm...船到桥头自然直

ok, good luck to me tmr((:

2008-07-02T23:57:00.002+08:00

ok, I want to blog meaningfully. I'm always got lot of insipiration after I got mentally and physically drained out. Was talking with jess over some hopelessly bimbo acts till 3am the previous night, when I'm actually having lesson at 8am in e morning.

so its actually a little more than 3hrs of sleep before I got pulled out of bed to prepare for a fresh day ahead. School ended early today like 1pm. Its ZOOM and gone. Was looking through some further careers and education opportunities after i graduate. Uni requirement is a bitch. I hate it when i don't qualify for ANYTHING in singapore education. I don't think my career opportunities are that bad. I guess I'm okay to stick with it for my whole life but who wouldn't want to get a degree in life? I WANT something, but we're not given a equal platform to try...at least... Unfairrr =(

but my poly life is already this screwed. What to do? Dammit.

ok, its a screwed ICT test before i call it a day, in school. Took train with joyce, its always nice to have someone to talk to trip. Ok, was thinking if i should go home to sleep or go to study during the spare time I've on hand. Guess what, I think until i missed douby ghout interchange and ended up in Raffle Station. ==

I dunno what got into that i decided to alight at Raffles, and took a round at the city, alone. It feels...so..frightening real. You are like the only 'weird' one in jeans and t-shirt being trapped in a crowd, all clad in office attire. And I walked away so much that I spent quite some time to take a round back to the MRT station. It's easy to get lost among all the tall building and the whole world around u seems to be rushing for time. The whole place is just..PRESSING. Pressing Hard.

I find that nobody stops and looks around. They continue their pace and I say it's reality. Will I be someone like them 10years down the road? Or is there any passerby like me today who will be observing ME next time?

What matters most to us in life actually? What is your life revolving around today? What about the life in the future? I WILL continue seeking an answer in the process. Ok, end of my CBD stint now.

Next! Guess what??? I actually saw my brother on the same train and even on the same compartment on the way back home! OMFG== what's happening today?!? I ended up in raffles 'accidentally' then i chanced upon my brother on the same train somemore.

and hell...he must be either damn blind or trying to fake ignorance WITH me. We act like strangers, with like 5m apart and a few passenger in between only==

Well, i raise this issue up with him tmr...muahaha

I could have gotten home with him but i decide to go compass point to study instead. Decide not to sleep my life away. Was at the library frm 230pm all e way until 630pm. Sit till my butt sore. It's straight Jap studies all the way and i feel like stabbing myself.

FW arrived FINALLY then we hanged out for the night. I realised, no matters how busy I get to, I will still find time for a special friend like her. We can talk all rubbish the whole night! XD Dig out those worse than horrible secondary school neoprints. Say yucks==

I promised to groom myself every 1/2 a year. No more digusting hair.

Anyway, i reckon it's just a matter if you think everything you do is worth it or not. Some things are, some things are not.

Went back home at ard 930. It's about 14-15hrs outside recently...call it a day...i'm destroying my health THIS badly. With a JAP ICA to mug actually...

The tiredness in me somehow motivate me to move forward. But i want to slack also =(

2008-06-27T23:55:00.002+08:00

I actually lasted today!

No emo-ness, no complaining, just plain tiredness for now. wahahaa

Im a superwoman! cheers~

soooo...it all happened with me staying up till 4am the previous night willingly, even though I know that there's school at 8am tmr, a must to wake up at 630am then!

Not forgetting that it's FRIDAY. The Friday with lesson from 8am-4pm and TKD in the night. So, every Friday is the most energy consuming day, staying in school for 14hrs (8am-10pm), with a mixture of physically and mentally demanding activities to handle on the day itself. I always need to ensure that I had enough energy to last me for the day. Or else, its either or all of the following options for me

1) Sleep/don't listen frm 8am-12pm tutorial

2) skip the 2pm-4pm lectures and go home at 12pm (e best option)

3)Rest well during 12-2pm 2hrs break(which proved to be useless anyway)

4) Skip TKD at night and home at 4pm ( I always do this XD)

Because sleeping for 2hrs in the previous night means DIE. DIE in a long day like this.

But i actually lasted the day, in good shape! *So proud of myself*hee

paid my most attention in business law cls and surprising, effma tutorial too.

I don't know how to begin with but its all started with my effma tutor cum lecturer who gave back e paper at the beginning of cls. As expected, I failed. along with 7 other classmates.

Don't really feel much because I knew how badly I've done for the paper. Guess what my tutor (whom i still dunno what name) said to the class? Instead of the repetitve nagging of how SA fall behind in term of results compared to the other classes, or that we should have passed our 1st test, we should stop slacking and start mugging, or tons of bad message which i heard a zillions time before already. well..

Tutor actually told us not to be discouraged by the failure and saying things like our class is not too bad because most are borderline fail etc

suddenly..i just feel that she's...so motherlyT.T

and then she announced that the topic that e test is on is not gonna come out for exams! never again! lesson on financial accounting ended and would be on mangement accounting instead. Its gonna be like a fresh new start and I went like o.0

It's like a line of hope for that almost giving up accounting module.

awww..for that, I listened in the tutorial and actually understand. Decide not to pon the ltr effma lecture already (X

-lunchbreak is good with clsmates.

-Understand more in Effma lecture.

-ICT ended early despite having a long long brief on a new upcoming project again

-Went to clubroom and settle TKD adminstration things, excel skill is alright today XD

-TKD isn't too bad at night too. Less people and the girls' shout dominating over the guys'. wahahaha

-father fetched me home with wenxin's accompany.

woohoo... and that with me blogging currently to record the event for the day means that Im feeling good. Feeling good that I survived the seemingly tough day. Well...it won't be the same if i choose to skip lecture and go home sleep though

Hectic as it may be, I do enjoy an enriching life like this.

This post shall end in beauty. heee

2008-06-24T22:53:00.002+08:00

Before I knew it, school had already started!
whees...I actually think that I'm must busier during the holiday instead. But somehow I think wasted my 2weeks hols AGAIN.
I still want more time for myself actually(:

hees, doesn't feel much to be BACK in school in a new term. Nothing is new in the first place also, hahaha

and today is basically a eating day. A lot of my classmates went overseas during the hols and return with a lot of food, so...we were basically eating during the whole of the marketing tutorial.
I gt, biscuit, sweets, chocolate, dried mango, tau sau pia, ma chi and a hpchain frm them today. See, my classmates are actually some really really nice people.
compare to some u-know-what classes where there's alot of backstabbing, gossiping etc.

But the main problem is that I don't actually feel bonded with MY CLASS.
Is more like, there's some sort of communication difficulties with them, I don't think I speak more than 10 sentences in the full 4 hrs with them. I just smile, nods, and listen.
somehow, I kept thinking of this issue, comparing my class with my secondary school day friends.
note the terms difference, classmates and friends.

I conclude that being like the ONLY chinese speaker in class is really this BAD seriously. And their somewhat discrimination to speaking chinese make it worst. The environment I'm in for the past 10 years make a difference. And I need extra work and time and adapt to this. The moment I open my mouth, weird pronunciation comes out. The best mtd for me is to keep myself shut.
Well, there's another problem, their English ain't good to me also! Its almost as bad as mine, just my pronunciation is abit=.= So what are classmate trying to show when they do their anti-Chinese talk using their broken English for that? tsk tsk... XDXD

Characters and interests differs a lot also. I remember the first thing my secondary school friends say after lesson is over wld be, " Hey! Let's go home!"
Classmates would say, " Go swimming la, or....go queenway or anyway out"

I always ended up rejecting their good offer. But that...I really don't enjoy outdoor, especially swimming on that hot fri noon.

another comparison below

Friends: I think, I think
Classmates: Just do it

my grp of friends did a lot of consideration. They analyze the situation before making a move. And that they're a cautious too. while classmates are straightforward, very much. They don't hold anything back in fact and this hurts a lot at times.

There's 101 difference i see between classmate and I. Ranging from the religion, language, interest, strength, behavior, characters etc
Gah...wth, I feel like... in...a...foreign country=.=
but in fact, I'm actually very much a weird human to begin with.

And I have came to accept this, I can't change this much just to get into their clique because it make myself upset. My sensitivity with their straightforwardness can't work well. And they don't understand me either. But actually, all its take is to give in a step to each other and work out the difference among us.

For all the conflict and misunderstanding that I went through with the class, I think I had changed for the better gradually over the times. I'm equally glad for their acceptance for me also. We learnt from experience.

So much for that above, SA still rocks (:
I actually look forward to TEP in 3mths time. The whole lot of modules I'm taking this semester suck a lot, especially when we start getting back the paper this week. Expected to fail effma and finance, laws and SW won't do well either. I need to work on my screwed up studies soon.

k, end of the day, 8am class tmr.

2008-06-17T13:28:00.002+08:00

have been rather busy recently,

and as school is starting soon, I realised that i should be going on back on track real soon. Did a bit a revision here and there but it's another matter if anything gets into my brain.

and projects are killing me. Because of my 'heck to do' and lack of cooperation attitude. Well, I reckoned I did my part in the ICT project already, like the MOST part already. And groupmates wanna meetup to do. Is like, what the hell are your meeting up when your don't try enough in the first place. The project isn't really difficult to begin with and that I done up most of the part for your already, I'm not complaining and why should you be? I did spend couple of hrs exploring the website and understanding how its works too, and I don't think your spent enough time as much as i do, that it.

and i better go back to school and HELP not DO.

Not my responsibility isn't so, just perhaps I might be slightly better in term of computing knowledge doesn't mean anything more. I love to help more but not do.

ok, but on the other hand, I'm just being the sore loser who refuses to contribute more infact. I procastinate a lot most of the time, in simply word...LAZY LA

likewise for finance/marketing/effma/laws project, im keeping my hands off these until i receive any instructions.

because i simply don't enjoy groupworks because it cut down the efficiency and effectiveness of one.

See, I'm a horrible group member(: and classmate better not find this blog. haaaha

going to TTSH later on, and i bet its gonna be a emo day for me after that. Going into the ICU to visit grandma is of a different feeling from the past. Seeing all the tubes on her body, and the heartbeat meter just keep on jumping irregularly (30-40), the surrounding is extremely silent except for the 'beep beep' from the machine to indicate her condition.

sighs, and most importantly, seeing how my grandma struggled to continue living on. breathe in, breathe out...its like the most challenge task for her to do currently.

somehow, i hate people wasting their life after seeing grandma in such pathetic state. Well, and this somehow explain why i choose to keep myself busy recently, clearing up all the outstanding tasks dilligently no matter how yucky they were. Not wanting to waste my life anymore.

going off soon. cya all

2008-06-15T10:28:00.002+08:00

What a day.
well so this gonna be a solemn post ahead.

Well, I've never experienced death of my kins or loved ones in my whole life. But I guess I should be mentally prepared soon actually for such things to happen anytime.

It all started from last night, at around midnight. Where our family received a call from my uncle. Was informed that my grandma was sent to the hospital then. She have been ill for the past few days and that her health have been failing for the past few yrs. For someone who had lived 85 years already, I should have somehow expected this to happen already.

I visited my grandma not long before. Well, actually just like 2days ago. She's weak, fragile. Can't even talk and eat properly. But at least she still up to acknowledge my presence and whisper a few words to me. I didn't do much, and just stayed in the house while my mum and my uncles came to look after her.

It was only until yesterday night that they all began to realise the seriousness of her condition. They finally called for her to be admitted to the emergency ward. My grandma is actually suffering a heart and respiratory failure at the point of time. My parents rushed down to the hospital at midnight soon after while I stayed at home.

My house phone just keep on ringing and ringing since then. Relatives started calling in. I practically panicked when I couldn't reach for the phone in the dark living room when the first call came in. Phew, not news LUCKILY.

I'm feeling less than anxiety but still trying to calm myself down by keeping myself loaded for the next 3hrs. My parent returned at around 3am. Was told that grandma condition is rather serious now and the next 48hrs are critical. She could have just died at home if we didn't reached for the hospital or that reached late for a 1-2hrs. Just leave, gone...and pass away.

I went to bed then as I tried to recall all the fading memories of my grandma. such as the moment when I realised I grew taller than her and when I feed my grandma when she fell ill., or time when she tries to stuff some money to me I went to visit her and I brought her hers favourite MacDonald's fillet or ice cream to eat.
or me that kid with a foul mouth that threaten to send her to the old folk home because I hate to share my bedroom when she came for a stay over. And she remembered this incident till date as i chuckled away. Or at time when I can't stand her nonsensical whining and went to record her 'speech' down for my mother. well well...

My memories with grandma isn't exactly much but these still hold some importance to me after all. Regrets for that I always I thought I could be a better family member and a granddaughter still...

Woke at 9+am today. Was informed that my grandma condition gets better. Then my mum started telling me about my uncles and how their refusal to send her to the hospital few day. Am semi-fuming with their or even my mother incapability's to do something to save my grandma's life. She was telling me how all my uncles THOUGHT that grandma would get better by taking in medicine, or that she perfers to die by the bed instead of in the hospital. It was when my uncle, the one and only living by my grandma, brought his girlfriend up the house and she reckoned that grandma MUST be send to hospital quick. and luckily for her so, if not grandma would be gone already.

my grandma had 10 children , not one or two. But not even one want or can do anything for her, to keep her living on. They were waiting and waiting for one another decisions. She can't wait that long. Somehow consideration is the most foolish thing to do. She could be saved, so why not?

Shall visit grandma later on and may she gets better.

2008-06-14T21:15:00.003+08:00

ok, this post gonna be a long long whine on TKD (:
soooooo, I finally back to training of like 3weeks of MIA.
and i need to rant

1st thing
attendence rate dropped to a new low after the freshie join in or so. I guess its the time when everyone settled in already, those that don't hold any passion for the sports have already quitted and those who do, continue to turn up. Sadly, it that pathetic amount. And yeah..somehow TKD needs MARKETING to retain the people.

2nd thing
horribly shagged training.
That day was hot and our normal tobak is thick enough, yet Sir Kangwei made us wear padding during running somemore. Completed 2.4km barefooted on the track and that's only part of our warm-up. I repeat again, its part of the WARM UP only.
Sir Weisoon took the class later and sure enough, he works differently. He took the 2nd half of the warm-up and then off to MORE pysically training. Did plenty sets of abs/arms/legs exercise. Wornt out by then. Because I knew lactic acids are sure to build up the next morning.
Sir CK & Arvind then took us for technique kicks. I gt to admit the my basics suck totally. Later part was an excercise with a partner to do the turning kicks. Apparantly, Arvind went forward to 'fix' my angle so much that the side hip muscle gt over strained. Thanks huh=.=
the last and final part was round sparring. Before my body finally get K.O and calls it a day.

am still pointing at others and looking over at the injuries we all suffered. I can still laugh at the moment of time because others are worst off than me. But i regretted the moment I got home, hidden bruise starts coming out.

*pants hard*

Injuries.
-running 2.4km on track 1st time after 3mth gave me swollen feet with blisters.
- A overstrained left thigh thanks to sir arvind. Practically hurts for every step i took today.
- 5 serious bruises that at least of a 50cents coin, and an uncountable numbers of minor ones
- Lactic acids built itself from the abs all the way down to the calves. the saddest things is that it gonna be there for at least 3 to 4days
- Most importantly, the red rashes are up again, whenever my body get too heated up on occasion and i need medicine for that.

See how taekwondo kills me =(

and the harsher the training gets to, the more i would question myself on WHY i am still in there. Before I talked about my passion for TKD, i would talk about from what I have learnt so far in sports and wellness.
Frankly speaking, my body type don't suit taekwondo. My muscles are more genetically developed in slow twitch fibers, not the fast twitch one. This somehow hinders the training because TKD is more about SPEED and POWER and apparently I lacked of them. Im more suited anerobic sports and not aerobic training like TAEKWONDO. And my bones and joint structures are that stiff and rigid. Not flexible and loose. Admit it, I would nv be able to do a split in my whole life. unless i break my bones.

and toward the mindset for TKD. I must say... it aint exactly good too. I joined TKD intially because my best buds, jocelyn and fionne, wanted to join it. And that as a SW student, i need to find a sport to join too. so somehow im used to go to training only if they went there. Then i got to know a few more people in the club like wenxin and cath, and eventually familarise myself with the whole club. I've no problem to go to training alone currently but I would prefer to have them around most of the time. Friends do matter most.

Then, I got into the dumb committee thingy and became the secretary. As to why the hell I am in the committee in the 1st place is because I represented TKD for the campus road run event. (stupid isnt so? I don't possess leadership) and somehow, being in the committee means commitment but that does not equate to passion. I can't bring myself to quit TKD no matter how de-motivate or harsh it gets to. Because I held onto a post. A POSITION. Its like a role model to be exact=.=

And im still here, remaining in the club till date as i witnessed my fellow partners leaving one after another. The strength just gets smaller and smaller. Fionne, jocelyn, cath have found their soulmates in TKD, well not me though. But anyway, they stayed on till date somehow due to the binding relationship isnt so? not me again though.

look, so why and what am I staying behind TKD for?
I admit the passion gets bigger but it will never be comparable to Kangwei or any of the blackbelts sir. I might be able to get better technically. But again, Im not willing to dedicate time to train.
No skills, no passion. So what matters most to me actually in TKD?
I hope to find an answer soon
This shall spell the end of TKD rants=)

---------------

take a break here, shall talk about meeting with irene and jess today.
ok, sorry this came after my tkd rants~ but its still gonna be of some importance! XP

to irene, because I know that you will be reading this and the below msg would be for ya (:

I guess, I did all I can as a friend to help you today. Hee, and hopefully I don't come down all the way from kovan for nth XD. Because I see that you need some help, and that im willing to give it a little try for that no matter how insignificant its seems to be. Guess jess and me had already said all in our little meeting at the end of the day. Do help yourself and move forward in your life for the sake of yourself. good luck and i really mean it. (=

2008-06-10T14:05:00.002+08:00

morning was rather enjoyable with couple of leisure read.
I didn't know what got into me the previous night, a tad of emo-ness got into me and couldn't decide to sleep or not.
and when that when Im on my bed already, tears started flowing out, for no reason. Ok, its just a few drops though.
and then, I answered myself, "It should be the time, finally."
somehow, I tend to hide the delicate feeling of mine too well at times, till the form of non-existance. Facade of sort off. that I don't even realise it myself.
so, i reckoned that perhaps those tears are actually a form of release for the long hidden or built up emo-ness i had.

Ok, so I went into slumber in tears and I woked up in the morning, in tears again. Just that I rubbed accidentally into my eyes and hurted way too much. Not too great to begin a day like this. haha

I somehow realise that the hols are finally here. But, I don't feel very much into it. Am still at home doing some form of works or so. I have TONS of things to do, but i choose not to maximize my efficiency currently. hey! But its only the 3days into it!

is on a recent craze over illusions, or deja vu, or whatever we name it. Obsession with Yoga Lin latest album too. See the beautiful lyrics:

神秘嘉宾
我踩着梦的阶梯
走进了一座迷雾森林
谁的心事被天使窃听
泛起涟漪
时间它帮我设计下一秒
谁是神秘嘉宾
小心翼翼揭开了面具
掌声鼓励
谁闯进我的场地谁让我措手不及
我早就预备的剧情你却给我一笔
狡猾地致命地正中我红心
我跟谁变得亲密谁逐渐离我远去
华丽演出共襄盛举唯有你的背影
友情客串却留下刻骨铭心的回忆
你按了我的门铃我终於
从呵欠中苏醒
紧张兮兮对你说一句
欢迎光临
全场观众都离席剩下我
还在原地寻觅
耳边听着谢幕的歌曲
走不出去
谁闯进我的场地谁让我措手不及
我早就预备的剧情你却给我一笔
狡猾地致命地正中我红心
我跟谁变得亲密谁逐渐离我远去
华丽演出共襄盛举唯有你的背影
友情客串却留下刻骨铭心的回忆
我搬到谁的隔壁谁成了我的邻居
鸣谢生命有你参与笑纳我的邀请
曲终人散却写下不会结束的结局

nice isnt so? (:
i wish life's all an illusion at times. But at least, Im able to distinguish between that from reality.

2008-06-05T19:09:00.002+08:00

Im in a hols mood already!

oh, no matter how screwed my Jap and business laws got to this afternoon
or the fact I still have another test tmr..

Im just in a hols mood! HAHAHA

skipped mktmgt and use that extra one hr to walk around heartland mall could be that enjoying, hehe, easily contented ehh? XD

throwing aside my effma book is more enjoyable, duhhh
its a wonderful day ahead (:

2008-06-04T22:00:00.002+08:00

I really don't know what I'm doing right now
no directional, no goals, no people, no soul
with 2 tests tmr, and im still here, blogging. I don't know if it that fcking backache or whatsoever that caused me to be so pissed over.
I feel like sleeping, after eating tt fcking panadol
but the main thing is I CAN'T. can't sleep. i laid on the bed, eyes closed, but the brain is like spinning non-stop...
and that the 2 ICAs remind me that i should really get down to studying, at 10am.
grrr

pissed, totally.

2008-06-01T04:30:00.002+08:00

just can't get myself sleep currently.
im not sure if the large coffee i drunk in the afternoon or just the pure frustrastion running through me.
not on the top efficient level already
my schdules is like so hectic and I wanna waste precious moment of it by staying up awake doing nothing beneficial
letting your heart to runs over the minds is a nonono~
i think too much

the few days were horribly hectic,

thurs-
was e TKD meeting.
so unwillingly to stay bad because i waste 3hrs on that. duh..and sir vincent was late for a hr of so. Lucky i haf my laptop with me and cath, wenxin and me were all doing the project during that period
Zzz..meeting finally ended at bout 930pm
see, precious time gone again for unbeneficial thing and yes, meeting was totally unecessary in my opinion. NO directions to go. and sir vincent were full of profanities in it=.= wenxin and i were damn if there's not marketing project to keep us on hand

fri-
marketing kills me
the whole SBM was rushing it on thurs night. half on the school were still online past 4am and many didnt slpt for the whole night just for it. interesting scene at bookshop/tutorial/lecture also.
everyone is marketING, hahaha...
oh well...at least i completed in time.
felt damn tired in school because i only slpt for an hr on so on previous night, just the moment i gt marketing completed, was informed me that booking of rooms were all unavailable! =.=
jaw dropped, i've to settle this shit. resort to booking aerobic room. which i nv ever heard of such room before. went sports hall checked it out after school, ironic enough, its even under a sports and wellness facilities! What a SW student im! lol...but i conclude myself that aerobic room need more marketING.
im looking forward to TEP! yayys..crap these business modules now.

sat
slpt till 12pm! XD and went to look for my aunty whose tending a shop in heartland mall. mm... and decide went off to sengkang to study. settled down at starbucks, am pretty concentrated this time round
THEN. am chased out by starbucks for hogging their table. @#!&~!#@
not like as if there's not enough tables outside actually=.=
apparantly some people complained and yea... a whole bunch of students including me gt invited to sit outside instead.
nvm, im freezing inside already, and need fresher air too.
but guess what? i gt a free cup voucher in return for that(:
LMAO, nice exprience to study in starbucks. shall return more often then. *winks* and sit urself inside. hehe
studied from 2-7pm. still overall a nice day at starbucks and library with my studies.
but i had a overdose of coffee, i guess. stomach get weak if i had too much and i can't sleep.just like now

530am. Morning people.
Im off to life!

*yea, there's tone difference, before and after post*

I need you cut off the imagination of mine...

2008-05-28T07:15:00.002+08:00

mood isn't exactly good, or particularly bad.
morning seems like it gonna rain
done abit of thinking last night
didnt slept well enough
a mild headache
and morning should be quiet

2008-05-26T21:08:00.002+08:00

I freaking lose the concentration on my marketing project currently.
i just finish writing e damn product 4(p) which took up 1 whole darn page. There 3 more Ps not yet started
and there's 2 more section to go.
and now i think i gotta deleted part of it because it simply TOOO LONG. Im exceeding the page limit at the rate i'm going.

Why did I choose Microsoft in the 1st place? *stabs myself*

and i doubt our MET-ONLY-ONCE-REPLACEMENT tutor will even read through the report for e fcuking efforts we spend on it. It's 8-10pages so long. Microsoft is damn technical and i doubt if he can even understand those computering term. and I practically have to wiki them up and blah blah blah~
so much information is available but you don't understand a single thing. What's the use?

Due on fri but we have a business finance test on Fri too. and i have nuff about it. We were only brief on the project like 1week ago?

shall try to complete the report tonight, the rest of the day will be modification.
tues, wed, thurs will be that 3 days to choing my BF
and I haf to use the weekend study SW
and immediately after that, im gonna prepare laws and effma test on the same fri also.

TERM BREAK IS THEN. so near yet so far :(
tsk tsk, no time to rest. if not i'll flunk.

ranting is good my your mental

2008-05-25T01:40:00.002+08:00

Random thoughts.

I like the feeling of struggling.
At least it's not helplessness.

You're at least doing something, not nothing to save yourself.

The heart is beating. You can feel it.
The eyes are closing, and you knew it.

struggling, struggling to keep yourself up. Don't surrender to fate.
Save your tears for they are precious water. Exchange them for the blood.

You still can choose your destiny. Fight on.
struggle for yourself.

2008-05-23T21:12:00.002+08:00

i decide take a little time out and do blogging.

busy. Am I?
yea, gonna be. with all those tests and projects coming up. Darn! i don't even dare to think about them now. Tsk tsk...Martketing mangament is due next week and im not even started
hmm... and it payback time, for the slacking period i had so far.
when you don't listen in class. I have to balance up with more forced self-studying back home. It still like...err, 1 for 1. just like well...
You gained time as you flunked your studies.
nvm, i reckoned im still balanced so far..ehh right? :/

-
little things on MT happen daily to make me little piss. but alright. STAYING piss-ed is the most time energy consumption stuffs. Either you can just f them back immediate or that u treat them as junk. just don't bring the piss-ed mood offline.
Individualism. I can't denied that Im one of in the first place. I don't like to ask for favour try to do all by myself
but teamwork just rocks when the whole team come behind and support one another when MT got into some freaky issues.

*winks* i still dunno why staffs are willing to slave so much for MT...
w/o them..argh...M-T is just nothing>.<
M-T meant a lot, thanks peeps(:
-

it's a no school day! Wonderful! And i decide not to go back to school specially just for tkd. stayathm just rocks-
hmm, randomly thinks that i should go gym and RUNNNNN this afternoon
i still hate the gym and threadmill. Air was like so still in the aircon that i began to feel breathless for just 2.5km=.=
should haf run in the open but stadium was way too far...
morning can't wake up to jog, afternoon too hot, and night i might just get lost among in the private street..ok..
all EXCUSES, just lazy to get out of homee
run like 8.5km this time round? despite targetting a 10km today. speed went slow either. I didnt know how to get back to 5km/0.5hr like my first run without water break somemore. and my back was hurting all during the run. i think my back waist gt too much FATS =.= but i dunno how to shed them off either...
duh, blame that fact tt sat infront of the computer too much
hmm, i try 10km next time!

Go a marathon! hahaha.

andimissmyfriends-

2008-05-21T19:26:00.002+08:00

blog blog.

tkd for last night-. stayed behind and watch the peeps training. So shack. Im silently relieved tt i not out there. muhhaha
but gt down ltr to join in the fun as they practise pattern! awww...i miss freshie days. and my white belt pattern. green belt is getting sooooooo complicating>.<

returned home- opted not to do tutorials at all...hahaha, tired.

didnt slp well because it either too hot or too cold (with air-con) was basically waking up the adjusting or switchinng off aircon for e whole night=.=

morning- im most probably not yet awake or what on the 8am lesson. Was practically in my own world till school ended, (eating, msn-ing, forum-ing, etc) doing all sort of horrible with just a laptop in hand *winks*
and i believe im lucky to pass e 10% mcq ICT test today. Hahahas...practically gt all e 50-50 qns correct at the back!
hahaaa...too high- and i long decided to pon my effma make-up.
kills me, like as if i will listen if i go
15% ain't for nth.

afternoon- home is soo sweeeeeett. was still playing e aircon...moving here and there~ haha, finally open tree. and ms B spoilt my opening by being e 1st tagger.=.= and soon after, winglin broke down again
so damn...nvm,

i wonder how im gonna pass this semester~
nvm, i believe 船到桥头自然直

and im glad tt im not taking business finance/accounting course...LOOK, how horrible if im one. i most probably dropout of poly already~
S&W isnt too bad, at least i found it interesting a tad bit, although i still don't understand anything in it...

i feels like sleeping now

ok, still haven't decide if i wanna go business law+ effma make-up tutorial lesson...hmm, gd thing is tt jap start at 1pm. i only haf 1hr break. lesson frm 9-5pm then. Nvm, shall decide if i can manage to wake up on time tmr...
if not *smile*
told u. 15% aint for nth

BYESSSS

SO DEAD

2008-05-20T12:16:00.002+08:00

feel sooo dead
i got like tons of outstanding task and upcoming test

my desktop calender, e whole thing can be painted blue already=.=

21may- ICT ICA 1, NE Project submission deadline
22may- EEMA makeup (still pondering to go or)
26may- is the week which i have to hand in my mktmgt project. (which doesnt seems easy and that i havent started a bit)
30may- business finance ICA 1. (caculation is a gone case)
2june- is SW human anantomy labwork visit,
3june- SW ICA 1
6june- effma ICA1 and business law ICA1

and i still have to settle some tkd stuffs, booking of camp+organising a meeting and i haf to report them by tonight?!?

site is still not open yet
i still own joa FE judging results

OMFG~ SO DEAD. going school now and im not prepared yet.

2008-05-16T13:16:00.003+08:00

ditch the library for the comp lab
its at least so much peaceful

counting- 7peeps or more

enjoys observing how human behaves.

be amazed by my tolerance for silent, how i can stare into a white space for hours and hours without even moving a single inch
thoughts in our brain are amazing

-

works are pilling up. I'm practically stone-ing/fooling around/ in every of my lectures since the beginning. Can't seems to find back the concentration level i had last sem.
maybe someday, i need to sit down and STUDY. ain't working now actually..like never.
but i still manage to did rather avg result although I skipped at least every 10% of every modules lesson.
not to mention, i survived without buying any lecture notes for the whole sem.
Gah...what am i doing?!? and how did i manage to survive?

-

survival.
I realised, all we need is to adapt to the ever changing environment. Hurtful and unrealistic as the way you wanted it to be. U can lose everything, except your pride. Don't lose yourself to them.

-
just kill a pup in the morning. Too bored- incident was like long over and i decide to rake it up to the author. Look, i wasn't even upset??? i just feel like doing IT.
they don't hurt me in the way expected but me inflicting hurt on others is rather justified form, for they deserved so. Fair? I never give way.

my tolerance are amazingly high- good or bad?

I don't show doesn't mean i don't know and least that I don't care.
I cared even the smallest details,
surprisingly, i always remember such things well.

You're dead if i care.
-

How did i rake up this post in the 1st place

thoughts are simply amazing. time pass fast today.

lesson are starting. GONE

2008-05-14T07:18:00.006+08:00

waking up early, reaching the school at 7am, sitting along in sch mac, is a more than enjoyable task to do
i loves the peace in the morning,
the only moment in life where i could really sit down, enjoy the fresh air and do some serious thoughts
at least it's much better than stinky library
last night turns better, after choosing to skip taekwondo...oh yea, not point being so tired already and dragging yourself to another workout session...
oh yea, not to mention that having a dinner with jocelyn for just half an hr could feel so good XD
we both choose to skip training! haha

i think today will be good

shall upload some of the photos i took with my phone earlier before

-

Club Crawl 2008! A pic with jocelyn, before i got my hair rebounded. Ha, she was sick then. and i gt it from her in next day=.=

A pic of jiawen taken in mac. Went to attend NYJC choir concert

A scenary i took down at pandang, while volunteering for the jpmorgan event. ehh, make a good stock pic? XP

with Fangwei, as they come over to kovan to do a environmental project and asked me over to help

taken with jocelyn during ellina choo's talk. Gulity, because i still fall asleep at the end of the day.

with cath and joce at the same event

stayed up to 3am a few night before just to practise my jap...my horrible handwriting =.=

2008-05-13T13:36:00.003+08:00

suddenly i feel that it would be so better much if i have someone to talk to.
library stinks-
human too noisy

awaiting for lesson to start, I hate having a 2hr break in between~

a screwed day. May it be better later on

2008-05-06T23:27:00.002+08:00

It's blogging moment! despite not having to complete 2 tutorials due next morning=.=

school is still pretty good and nice till this moment. Classmates seem pretty alright also. Me too. ok, i shall reserve my words until our projects kick in. can behave that i've got over with it, but I can't forget so.

went to school early to pass cath a book for sale. Duh, on my way to library to actually slack for the remaining 1hr+ before class start at 2pm. Never did i expect to meet satish and shaz along the corridor... and got myself involved in filming nafpa video! they need people last min...and since i was sort of free...and erm, wearing that SW shirt=.=
ok, but i didnt do much and just sit around because i don't have the right shorts and wearing
slippers. guess the process was pretty crappy la

marketing managment. i attempted tutorial! Hurray!

saw eddy in school for the 2nd time ever since he left the class. 1st time was club crawl. Guess he's doing quite good for this period time. He changed for a better? Me too. At least that's what i thought. Maybe we will face each other in next semester, feeling much better with the past put behind.

business finance is a real bore. i don't understand much about what's going on so far:( the 1hr lecture was like zoom~ and ended too fast before i can absorb anything into my brain.
but i thought essential of sports and wellness was much more interesting. Human anatomy! Seems pretty fun...hehe, but crapx, i thought i might just die to remember all the bone structures term.
hahaha...radius and ulna... relate to our chickenwings. I'll remember this.

Taekwondo! - pattern! WOOHOO..i was damn happy to learn that we gonna do pattern today. Compared to the ultra shack training we have for the previous week. learn 1/2 of green belt pattern. sparring session again at the end of the day. lolx, my swollen left leg nv gonna recovers forever at this rate im going. The same spot keep on getting e bump! Sparred with freshie. think i injure one of them=.= ok, too bad loh. most probably skipping training for this coming fri, for my leg to recover. clear all the bruises!!!

tired after tkd session- haf to wake up at 6am tmr.. BYES!

disclaimer: i blogged under the circumstance in which i assume that none of my real life friends know about the existance of this blog. (since i abandon it for SOO long) So, pardon me for the contents if it make u feels any discomfort. Ur aint suppose to know yiing right? (:

2008-05-04T03:19:00.002+08:00

a free sat- slacked my way through
i just don't feel that school have started... wait till the workload come in...HAHAHA
i actually planned to complete my tutorials todaydiligently...BUT...

i only woke up in the noon (too tired), and couldn't help but to start bitching online and photoshop a random request.

went out in after dinner to have a walk or so. A stroll down my house in much enjoyable. the only moment which i could feel the cooling breeze during the whole hot period. and i don't understand the temp difference between lvl 2 and lvl 10. same goes for the kitchen and my bedroom. different horrible air that im breathing in now. yup, i brought some chocolate and tibit too =p

return home and gt online again=.= i promised myself to start tutorials just to realise that i d/l wrong set of notes. RE-d/ling everything isnt fun. It was too late when i finally get my hands on...and yes sleepy too. too many more gt online and i cant resist the temptation to chat...and my scarcsm today is damn direct..oh well...
SOO basically,
i didnt completed a single work today.

sigh-but i guess i won't die. Just so. If only...
hahaha, marketing managment- although i can spend more time on my damn studies, but again i get satisfaction by spending the time on other stuff.
i profited still. (:

sleeping now.byes

2008-05-02T13:27:00.002+08:00

Making a Comeback.

have the sudden urge to start blogging again, after a year or so.

nth much about my ordinary life

and yes, u're the lucky one if you chanced by this revived blog. yiing is back (:

surprising ehh?

coding layout is a complete failure. i still hate blogger because i don't understand how their coding work neh.... fine, i'm lazy too to actually do some research on blogger either. Just a random BOA graphic which i made a few days ago.

Forcing myself to go more into Jap culture and entertainment. sigh- not a passion. but yea i make weird decision which no one, not even myself, believe that i gt what it take to excel in that field.

ok, back to blogging. The recent hot weather and the start of school just make me gloomy. couldn't help so...i might just need to rant.

Ok, a lot of thoughts supposingly flow through me last night...but again, everything is put behind once i get online and crap my way through. keeping myself busy is a way out.

EMO. when i mention this word not here. I'm.

i highly suspect it's my virgo perfectionist's character that got my through all this. look, i'm not perfect. that it

i want to get a high GPA and excel my studies

i want to be a good PR and have a relationship with everyone around

i want to excel in sports and get fit enough to run a marathon

i want to photoshop making graphics which everyone will goes WOW

i want to train till a black belt in taekwondo

i want...

i want... practically EVERYTHING

i want to have a perfect life. but apparantly NOT. It's impossible. back to marketing. Let me just stick to my needs. just let me survive. But yea.. i'm not deprive of anything again. fortunate kid

lesson is starting. GTG.

2007-04-07T15:18:00.001+08:00

i'm back!
to inform everyone that my new blog is ready for viewing
hohohohox..
relink me if you want=)

www.wretch.cc/blog/yiingw0rld

blogger really suck. i cant even put up this link
it says
URL should end in a valid domain extension, such as .com or .net
damn blogger=.=

2007-04-01T18:51:00.000+08:00

I'm quitting blogger!

did i said that i hate the new logging way?
did i said that the inputting text is too troublesome?
did i said that i had a hard time putting my pic inside?
did i said that blogger is very disorganize?
did i said that blogger is incomptitble with my opera server?

did i said that blogger suck?

muhahahas!

did i said that i'm quitting blogger?

muhahahas!

why didn't blogger care about my need?

muhahahas!

bye~ i'm switching my blog to wretch cc
its so much cooler and better

muhahahas!
ask me for the link...if you want=)

2007-03-28T13:26:00.000+08:00

ok...
have been going out almost everyday now
sianx...
i just completed the whole enrolment process into nyp
finally~
hahas, who discover this?

apparently, a guy is already married at 17 yr old!
not only that, he have finish serving NS already!
all at 17 yrs old..
well, cant nyp use more brain when coming up with this sample?
lolx...
anyway, so pissed off
there are renovation again!
well...it seem that there is renovation anywhr all around me!!!
yup...in the park, a hospital is in built
further down and northpoint is expanding
below down is some stupid upgrading
well!!! WHY ALL THIS ARE CARRIED OUT WHEN I'M ABOUT TO MOVE HOME???
i have never even seem a single upgrade in yishun for ages
damn..i have to endure with those destruction brought by those construction when i knew tt i wld never to get enjoy them~
hais...and seriously, i dun even know when i am going to move house!
check out and realise that there are ppl living in there already~
and yet my block haven't even gotten the key
hais...pathetic rite?
another update wld be due in ages
frankly, i really hate to use blogger to blog
hahas, i might consider deleting this someday~
lalalala..bye!

2007-03-22T22:47:00.000+08:00

went to SATA for a medical checkup today
I'm super gross already
i waited for about 5 hrs there and the damn nurse told mi
yes, she shouted...right outside the room
"Please do get out of the building now!"
e worst things is that i have not completed the test and i still have to return there again!
suriously yuck lahx
was told that i failed my eyesight check
n my condition was so bad that i have 'lazy eyes'
ok...chase out of the building then

i went to a optremetry for a detail checkup immediately
guess what?
it just happen that one of my eyes has a near perfect eyesight and the other has a slight
145 degree of short sightness
Nowhere near what 'lazy eyes' k!
i still have to return with a specs again there
yes..i'm not excluding tt i have to wait another 5 hrs for another check-up
and i still have to have everything done by 30Mar!
damn, pay more money go other place
don't go SATA-woodland pls~

2007-03-22T08:18:00.000+08:00

going for a medical examination ltr
so fussy...
need to do x-ray & urine test still
all this still need to $$$
lolx...how cheap can a x-ray test go?
poly are seriously scared tt someone will bring in disease into it
haha, all foreign student have to undergo a HIV test still
I almost laugh like mad when i saw this
they are scared tt they bring in bird flu?
nahx...jk lahx
anyway, going to poly is so fussy
need to fill up lotsa forms, go online to do the enrolment procedecure etc
and still have to sent everthing back by 30mar!
hey~ i received it only the 17th k?
hahas, and my parents are having cold war for 2 days because of this
it all because of nyp
ok, wont talk much about this~
umm..let just hope tt i'm very healthy person before i went for the check-up!

2007-03-16T20:22:00.000+08:00

yo...ages since i update my blog?
well...
went out today with fw and adina
obviously, both pon sch again=.=
hahas
went Tampine to look for fionne
who is working there...
ohx..how pathetic isnt itXD
ok, we took a freaking slow 39 bus there
1 hr from yishun to TM
do some shopping here and there=)
yes...took another freaking slow bus to suntec
damn lahx...all hungry
guess wat happening at suntec?
a food exhibition!
so great! ahahahas
ok...remember, we all love food!

bye~

2007-03-06T20:10:00.000+08:00

I will be glad to announce that i am posted to

Nanyang Poly
SPORT & WELLNESS MANAGEMENT

yes...that was my first choice anyway~

i'm not if i will do well in it~
but i shall be resposible for my decision=)

i gonna work hard for sake of my future
hoping to make it through the university through the poly route

yes...i will do what i say=)

2007-02-27T12:39:00.000+08:00

so fucked with this new blogger thingx
wasted so much of time going in
ok...i do haf tt much of time to waste
wondering why do i blog?
i blog only when i feel too bored=)
ahahahas
yup...i felt good for the past few weeks
1 more wk before i knew where i am going
haf a deep feeling that i will end up in rp=.=
hopefully nt anyway
i swear i gonna do some meaniful things once i got my posting result
ok...i have been slacking at home since 18/12/06
after i quit my job at hyatt
it such a ...erm...frightening experience that i decided nt to get another job
my slacking life started from then on
anyway, today is my 70th slacking day!
ahahahaha...gratz pls~

lalalala~
hohohoho~
i enjoying my life~~
hohohoho~
lalalala~

2007-02-10T12:52:00.000+08:00

got back my 'o' lvl results already~
erm...i would say not v.well done but at least it was what i had expected though
phew....
had to make all these choices now
i cant believed that i did no thinking at all during my 3 mths slacking days!
ok...
headache time liao~
bye~

2007-02-05T22:43:00.000+08:00

'O' level results are gonna be release on 9 Feb 2.30pm
hais...
seriously dunno what to say
using it as an excuse
an excuse to hide the fact that i knew i gonna do badly anyway
actually everyone sld haf some clues on our finale results...
just not so prepared to accept it
maybe..just maybe
i do hope that my prediction goes the wrong way
maybe...
a miracle might happen on me?
yes...maybe...
i prefers to stay optimistic now=)

2007-01-31T21:09:00.000+08:00

i'm back in school!
erm..no..
i meant i went visit jiawen in TJC
tgt with jocelyn and fangwei + matthew
2 slacker at hm and 2 other who pon school 2day=.=

havent been a student for a longzzzz time
waking up at 6+ and wearing the green uniform again
i think amkss uniform is not that bad afterall=)
wander around Tampine like so bad student
and we finally entered TJC at 9+
like some pia kia liddat
stayed at the canteen and waited for jiawen's arrival
we actually wanted to attend a physic lesson in e lectural hall
back out last minute
all kiasi lahx=X
walk out of TJC and off we went to TM
convince jiawen to pon of CCA and went shopping with us instead=)
walked around and went home=)

i do missed schooling=)
seem so fun anyway
it much better than slacking at home or working
so for ppl like fangwei....
pls don't always pon school lahx=X
sld treasure the chance to go schooling
hahas...
u gonna complain about how ur teacher scold u again=X
advise for you...happy schooling
and to me...happy slacking=)

2007-01-30T22:32:00.000+08:00

i back frm thailand!
ok..i was already back a long time ago
just plain lazy to blog=.=
the blog is semi-dead anyway

my comp spoil again lahx
so kns hor...
my father still want to get it repair
my repair fee alone can buy myself a new destop already
using my brother's laptop
laptop suck...dont you think so?
laptop cant contain much memory meaning tt i cant d/l or install much thing inside
u still haf to squeeze the big clusmy finger between the tight and small keyboard
and not forgetting the cursor sensor
not using it mean to buy a mouse which will take up e already filled USB slot
conclusion: i hate using a laptop=)
i will avoid going to rp so as to avoid getting a laptop
ahahahas...stupid huiying here...
dun flame mi=X

started to do some packing here and there already
packed my clothes already
ok..so
day 1
huiying's wardrobe was equipped with 75 pieces of useless cloths
huiying threw at least 30 useless clothing and gave away 15 to my stupid relatives who stupidly accepted them
yet day 2
huiying found a wardrobe to haf a turnover of 75 cloths again!
why?!?
my mother decided to PASS ON her NEW clothes to me=.=
those cloths are much older than me=)
so new...

dug alot of junks so far
i'm not ready to move house yet
but i'm ready to open a museum
open for visit daily=)

2007-01-24T17:03:00.000+08:00

hey hey!
i blogging from thailand!
currently doing hair rebonding in a studio here
the studio here is super cool
there at least 20+ ppl having some hair service here
ok..imagine how big it was already?
i can still use the internet=)
e best thing is that
my rebonding + cut only cost around 1000 baht
equal to $40+?!?
so cheap hor=)

my 2nd day in thailand bangkok
it so fun shopping around anyway
stuff are super cheap and u can still bargain around
went to siam paragon also
damn high class..hahas
currently at MKB or watever
e things here are cheap but good anyway
my dad is waiting like an idiot around e guest area
while my mum is also getting a haircut too
hahas...cant my dad just pass mi the money while he goes to shop anyway
lolx...he gonna wait like mad for 2 more hrs
while i am happily having a comp to use for myself
yays...thailand is so fun