I just got to read thru some my previous posts over the years. Have been keeping this blog since err.. Sec 3? Recorded down about 230 posts already. Back then, I was always penning about my daily life, complaining this, complaining that and almost everything I did... hahaha

It's totally memorable to look back at your self and . Laughing at the stupidity, the fun, the sillyness, childishness. Sure, there were definitely much unhappy things in my life and I penned all these down with great hatred and sorrow before. But from a reflective viewpoint, If I didn't undergo all these back then, would I be of today? Everything WAS simplicity. Yes, that's the word. Simplicity. I guess I lost it all. Not actual lost, I prefer that this characteristic in me is mutated. Haha, yes... u can go relate it the form of alien creatures in mutation. It probably gets uglier most of the time but haha, u got stronger with the ability to protect yourself.

Yes, its all changed. I don't believe in the word 'Pure'. There's no pure happiness, no pure evilness, no pure anger, pure hatred, pure love. Nothing is just purely, exactly, 100%. It wld be 80% love and 40% hatred taking a reference to my class. Everything do occurs at the same time. We ain't mutally exclusive. Tada. Exactly... if only things were so easy to be defined. Life would be much easier.

The chinese word for Pure is '单纯' and as my mother always says '单纯给人骗'. It's true. Given a choice, would you rather be the one that don't know all the things out there or be that one that knew it all? Im the latter one. There's a word out there. Pretence. U can pretend that you don't know but no way can you pretend that you know. Be a smart ass.

Nope, I dont think I'm complicating saying these stuffs. What I goes by in life is only Genuine and Fake. That's all. It can only be that 2 and I don't care how many percentage were there into it.

For all the stuffs I've gone thru in 18 years of my life, I've gone this far here. Cheers.

On the lighter note, I dig out a post back in my post 'O' period while waiting for results and I laughed my ass off for 2mins after seeing this!

***

Sunday, January 07, 2007

anyone thought that i had died at home?
died of boredom?
why?

i am not attending any JC now
i dont have a job now and neither am i intending to find 1
dont bother to watch any tv show
dont even want went online becus of e lagging internet
i stayed at home everyday
and hardly step out off the house anyway

the worst is that i plain happy that i am been a useless bum at home
eat and sleep and play
no work nor study
what a wonderful life=)
lolx
written on 10:26 PM

***

goodness! yar, laugh all you can. I can't believe how I really did that back then =X hahaha..but right, I'm not hiding my past away because all these were part of me. Part of today's mutation of myself.

Yes, u may bet otherwise, I'm proud of what I've undergone and mutating into a stronger one =)

currently trying to study for my project management test... but the whole thing is just dry and boring which dont even get you think further off the book

nvm, i still have the night and tmr to choing

seems like my EPM mates are having soooo much fun. I mean real fun of course. Burning their weekend as as their events come in alr. (nah, they no longer stay in the office from 9-6pm and play zhong ji mi ma, haha)

Sat report at 715am and for their AWWA soccer and basically under the sun from 8-3pm. Then they rushed down to pandang and do their 'adi-nana'. Its a branding banana thingy, pasting adidas sticker on 7000 bananas and promoting it to ppl (damn retarded can=.=) from the evening all the way until the night 9+! and they had another event on the Sun morning, reporting at 530am! ( might as well dont slp)

omg, I can't imagine Im gonna do that for my next err... month! Being out for the whole day, getting all the sunburn, or worse..working in the rain, taking care of all the elderly, going on stage and lead ppl for exercise, sai kang... blah blah blah, it's everything! 

Well, I shall look forward to the challenge then. For now... I shall fully utilize the life of just 3hrs in sch. haha

sinful sinful~

Im got myself a teabreak of cheese fries + McFlurry

not as if I didn't have my lunch at 12pm.

somemore, I'm having training later... !!! 

So tired physically after a depressing PM 40% test, then instantly followed by a make-up lesson, lunchbreak then lab workshop.

and about the lab workshop. the whole world get a comp to themselves except for me. I took a broken PC=.= So I just drive off into my own world while teacher is explaining all these and that of the MS project. 

Im still having a 10% test based on what i learned today! *DIES*

anyway, everyday is test day.

alrights, blogging here because Im just too bored now and refuse to do work again

current situation outside; brawn without brain. Dragonboat-er playing table tennis in the air! completely retarded right??? and they play the 'so fun' game everyday of their training. and I suspect he's one of them=.=

ok, i try to catch a nap before the training now.

7-11 is sure tiring =x

a day of accidents.

I'm currently in school, clubroom. If you're wondering why on earth am I doing in school on a Sat? I shall explain that ltr... sighs-

So, it's finally the long anticipated Fri. Class starts at 1pm and ends before 3pm =.= If I have known, I would nv have brought my laptop to sch because I forget to take the charger along! 1st... my laptop is basically useless without its charger anyway and 2nd. It ain't light. Well, forgetting the charger isn't really a big deal but it's actually the start of the WHOLE THING.

Let's continue. So, I gotta attend the Piano Concert tt starts at 730pm. Its on a fri night, the tkd training and piano concert clash... another start of everything. Not willing to lug a heavy and useless laptop ard, I decide to leave the laptop in the clubroom. Carried all the equipments up to the training ground at 7+ and had to immediately rush off to the concert with Cath.

Attend the piano concert,  pretty good but we didn't expect it to end so late. So late that we got into trouble. No reception in the music hall somemore and I haf to get a singtel hp to msg my Dad and ask him not to pick me up at the usual time. It's only until 11pm that the concert ends and I check back my hp and realise that he hve been waiting for me since 10pm! He said it was too late when he got my msg alr..sigh, left in rush and forget all about my laptop in the clubroom

and because I left in such a rush that I didn't have a chance to talk to the rest. Only after like 1am that cath called me and tell me what had happened after the concert. Apparently, some of the alumnis were down for training on Fri and they were really angry with us because there were no ppl to take the class, no committee and trainees present because all went to the concert and that we came up too late to keep the equipments. Heard that they were so angry and call for a urgent meeting. and who gonna organise the meeting again? ME. 

So today, Sat. I had to look for Cath in Sembawang to get the clubroom key and then head to school to get my laptop. Standing throughout the journey from Kovan to Sembawang is enough to make my mood bad. Added that I only slept at 3am but woke up at 10am. what's more, its a Saturday. When Im got out of YCK mrt, can't believe there's such retarded ppl! A bitch was infront of me. Retarded, she tapped her card on the LEFT machine! Before I could react, my card was on the machine alr. So, I watch with my naked eyes that the bitch passed the gate via my card and I got debarred! FREAK

Bad luck doesn't end here. Walked to school back gate under the hot sun just to realise that the backgate is close! and I can't even open it with my admin card! My god, imagine how pissed off I was then after the tapping card incident

spent 15 mins walking from the MRT to the backgate and I had to spend another 15 mins walking back to the MRT station, then had to walk 10mins from the station to the main gate. another 5mins to reach the clubroom. 

(blogger can't seem to just deleted everything i wrote afterward. look like my bad luck didnt end)

Help! I ain't doing ANYTHING now

and I guess my body alarm is finally fixed! I woke up like at 8am ever when there's no school today. and I found myself being so lazy to do what i'm suppose to do, ever since I finish reading the last book of pmzx last yesterday and I had twlight left in my clubroom somemore=.=

On the computer and just click around aimlessly. I can visit a person blog for like 3 times a day because the link is just there for me to click and click and click (i noe it's freaking)

My classmates are better. Everyday is drama-marathon for them. Everyone is watching Taiwan and Korean dramas and classroom talk is all about that. 'u watch until what disc alr?' 'send epX to me!", "nice not, got cry not?"

So what's the problem with us??? Because we have no time to waste!

test test test! left with 1.5weeks! I got 4 ICAs in 6 school days left only. WLAOOOO. Freak la... and i would be a state of 'serve myself right' soon. For been so slack in the 1s place

waiting till 11am for my 'gua sha' appointment. If anyone don't know what's that, go google up about TCM. haha

currently:

freaking over my slack...

http://book.sina.com.cn/nzt/lit/paomozhixia/index.shtml

But it's really good! I finished the 3 books in just 1 week! It just keep me going on and on. But what I appreciated most is the characteristic of the main girl. The whole storyline was finely potrayed and i can relate myself to some part of it. Yeah, dramatic, bitter-sweet, sacrifices, love, hatred...practically EVERYTHING i had seen in all the ou xiang ju drama also. Of course, the book was far more in-depth that the drama itself. It's gonna be film into a drama soon anyway=.= so well, read the book 1st before the drama comes in to ruin the perfection of the image of my mind..haha

some of my fave pictures of the series:

ok, i feel like writing something down today.

so well, new blogskin because I got too sick of the previous emo blue. Got vann to help me with that! XDXD (see, so nice) but unfortunately, I'm too lazy to edit any of the details of the layout. I shall do that when I feel like..hehe

I'm left with just 1.5weeks to go. But I actually enjoyed the 1.5week before soooooo much..

I woke up in the morning to go to the school, then I'll do a reasonable amount of listening/studying in class, then I go for lunch or break with my classmates, and when I went home, I'll spend some quality time with myself again. Then I'll sleep before 12am to prepare for another morning class again.

Oh wonderful... Life feel so good going at such reasonable pace. Not really stressful and not really slacking. haha

Tues class was in the morning 9am then I had a tkd meeting until like 9pm. The following day, I had a 20% CS test at 830am (sounds so much like my previous semester hor???) I'm pretty sure I would be definitely be emo-ing in the past...  But today was good, not even close to it. Talk about stress management, I thought I handled it pretty well in the past but only today that i realised that stress comes from the amount of workloads you have to handle. The more work to do, the more stressed you get. If you have less work to handle, we don't even need to bothered about how to handle stress in the 1st place! So, If you have no workload and still have stress, then something is wrong with you ( n go study stress management la) XP

CS test today went pretty alright and hopefully my common knowledge help me in it. But in the lecture hall, i keep on hearing LOUD virbration from a hp. I was like which retarded ppl had set such strong virbration in hp and it just keep on snoozing on and on throughout the test! Well... 3hrs after the test is over, I checked my hp in the bag, IT'S ME!!! Goodness, SA office just keep on calling me because I didn't return the room key to them! When i picked up the phone.... the lady just go (*@#*$#!) 

OMG, why am I always in this sort of trouble =.= anyway, got Cath to sort tt out for me. Thanks dude, I don't wanna go there and kena yelled by them again. haha

having a PM test next week and it's 40%! Project instruction should be given on Fri alr. Still got the minutes to rush out. Gonna have a lot of events laid out for tkd... and i need to practise my 4.8km soon, might need to train for NTU-open, my BBT on 20th! awwwwwwww

3rd day into my classic studies.  and my cold isnt getting any better still. so it's a pretty horrible time ard so far

So well, I gave up on trying to figure out Mr Michael's accent. (actually, he's from Aussie instead!) and this weird angmoh always goes 'aiyaya' and wears a red and golden dragon tie to class every single day. Gosh, how fascinating can it golden dragen tie be? =.= and err.. he's always late for classes everytime also

So today, I purposely picked a seat on the further corner of the class and go into my lalaland. Lessons are getting more and more boring and projects haven't kicked in yet, surprisingly. 3hrs in school, 2hrs of transportation... okay, go compare to my previous 7-11 (16hrs) and check out the difference. I'm so not used to it actually! I found myself absolutely NOTHING to do after school. Because there's no assignment or anything for us to study in the first place. and I can't be bothered to head off for elsewhere after school also. 

Everyday, the whole class go...SO BORED!

Really, we're the better grp even. The other grp having their EPM is much worse than us. Because they gotta stay in school from 9-6pm doing NOTHING also! There's someone watching over them 24/7 to ensure that they do not go msn, youtube, games etc. omg, so self-torturing xP More like convict instead. haha

At least we still can youtube/play games/msn in class even though Mr Michael broadcast our computer screen for everyone to see. I continue to chat openly still. haha...and i like the wallpaper thingy. Evily put the wallie to dulian pic of ur classmates so that everyone see! muhahaha XD

ppl, please come online at this time and entertain me during lesson ok~

Mon- 9am-12pm, 3pm-6pm

Tue-9am-12pm

Wed-12-3pm

fri- 1-4pm

how's my 1st day of school?

-CS Lesson cancelled! YAYYS. Means I was released at 12pm instead of 6pm.

-think I caught a cold or something in the 1st morning=.=

- went pizzahut for lunch with 11 classmates

Well so, my pm lesson is pretty boring, as in the subject itself. I got a British Teacher somemore! And he got some really thick accent=.= Intially I thought it was only me who can't understand the teacher because my english was just too lousy. Then after 20 mins into the lesson, Charlene whispered to me, " hey, you understand what the teacher is saying or nt?" Then we both laughed our heads off. In pizzahut gathering, everyone admitted that we all cant get what the teachers is talking today! So, it isn't just me in fact. lols!

With regards to understanding the thick British's accent in our tutor, I just need take it like... figuring out Jay Chou's singing. haha

andI'm having second thoughts about going to AUS! How am I gonna survive there when I can't even understand a single word of English??? I know Singlish, not English =.= and the thoughts of speaking the native English in a foreign place is simply FREAKY. I would probably be the 1st target of language discrimination! Then should I ended up in Taiwan? hahaha... at least I'm more comfortable in a Chinese speaking country.

But well... mug 1st. Gonna get use to morning 9am lesson definitely. Argh, my sleeping time is still not fixed =.=

pardon me, I'm still gonna rant about my pre-schooling mood here again.

so yar, all my classmates are blogging about their pre-school mood also snd all the talks about the class spliting into 2 grps from tmr onwards is making me feel the blues with them too. Argh, I feel so inmature all of the sudden, like little kids throwing tantrum over school starting =.= 

I think Im gonna miss the group in the whole half year to be. I wonder how's life gonna do without 1/2 the class and being with a whole new chunk of BM students== I hope they were nice and everything will went on smoothly

and since the new semester comes, I decide to make some new (not gonna be fufil) resolutions here

1) Pre-read my lectures note before every lecture.

2) Do the assignment. Even if they're not graded.

3) Dont ever THINK of ponning a single classes this time round

4) Be a nicer teammate and offers help to SW students if required

5) Ensure that I rehearse all my presentation before so that my weird pronunciation wont run out when I got too nervous

6) Stop being cunning/bitchy/emo on this blog

7) Stop dao-ing ppl all the time and be more 'on' for outing

8) No more sloppy dressing in school except for Tue and Fri

9) Cut off from MSN during lesson time

10) Pass my BTT within 2 attempts

11) Keep my hair BLACK until year 3 starts

12) Stop finding additional stuffs for myself to do because Im busy enough!

Guess, that's all for the time being.

yiing officially lost her courage. 1 moment she was being so emotional about it... and when the opportunity comes, she decides not to take it again. NVM NVM NVM~

I'm fine. (=

I'm gonna take 2 really boring modules for the upcoming three weeks. Project Management and Customer Service. So sianx =(

and I'm gonna do 3 team projects and 2 individual written tests in this short 3 weeks. So well... I promise I'm just gonna cut away from all the distraction around and do a prefect one in this 3 weeks.

School starts on 13Oct. Next hols would be on 1 Nov! Then I just have to report to school on 10Nov for 1 day for all the project presentations. Hols continue, haha. But guess what, my parents are going Genting (again) on 10Nov! Why does it has to be on THAT particular day??? I wanna go too! =( boo... can I just take a bus there myself in the evening and join your later instead=.=

anyway, my timetable seems so cool on first view, but after taking the 2nd glance, I think it's kinda bad for me! Mon is literally just 6hrs of studying. But I have like 3 long hrs of break in between, so that's actually 9 freaking hrs in school! And what am I gonna do on tues when school ends at 12pm only to have tkd in the evening at 7pm?!? Same goes for Fri. They actually separate the test time with our lesson time too. So it's like I've report to school at 830am to take a 1 hr test but the real lesson only starts at 12pm. Gosh... No wonder ppl turns slacker in TEP under the long long break, haha

alrights, enough of school rants. I should have more stuff to say about hols. It seems that I'm finally getting bored of the hols alr. I just made a private post also, so well... I guess when ppl have too much time on hands (like me currently =.=), you will tend to think into areas that gonna upset you. At least when you're busy, you don't have the time to bother with such things any longer. I'm good at avoiding but it's still nice to sort out the thoughts once in a while.

enough of hols blues. I guess I'm ready for school! aja~

I probably had this post edited a hundred times before having it posted up. 

Ok, school is officially starting for me on next Mon.

I'm taking classic first, which means... 3weeks of studying 1st then a week of tests followed by 4 weeks of hols! OMG. Cant you believe Im gonna haf a week of hols again on 3rd Nov??? well... then I go back to school for just 1 day of presentation. TADA, i'll haf my hols all the way until 15th Dec! Ok... dont get too jealous of me. Because afterward  my official 9-5 full shift work from will starts after the hols, immediately followed by the half shift work. And before I knew it, attachment outside school will begin then in year 3...tada, I've graduated frm poly also.

It's unbelievable fast isn't it? Fangwei, dina and minjie will be graduating from their JC on this coming fri, and yea... another mth! Dear friends, good luck for 'A' alright  ((: 

ok, back to myself. I do have many things to say but my thoughts were unfortunately all jumbled up at the current moment. Well, I don't have any qualm about my arrangement in TEP. Our alr pathetic SW class of 30 is further split up into 15. I probably wont see the rest 15 in the whole semester this day. But the usual clique stay tgt still. Went off to amkhub to catch House Bunny with classmate since I have a bit of time on hands. We slacked at coffeebean 1st. A word to describe them- loud. Not necessary a bad thing though ((: though i enjoyed listening to their stories. haha.

Just that it further shows the contrasting difference between me and classmates, and unfortunately, i can't do anything more on my part alr... I reckoned I've tried and so do your. That's the best we could get to. Some ppl just don't click.

Oh well... I thought of this the other night,  I gonna be separated from classmates for 1/2 the year and probably another 1/2 more year and maybe... Im not gonna contact them anymore afterward. Is like, as classmates, we probably once spent so much time tgt in school, shared both wealth and woe as a class, we talked everything under the Sun and everything was great. Then suddenly, we stepped on a different journey in life after graduation. We bade farewell to poly life and yea...from then onwards, this would be the last time I would see them isnt so?

Oh well, human connection is just a funny thing. We will get cut off immediately once there's no more relationship within one another. I probably forget all about 2/3 and 4/3. Well, I dont even talk to MT staff online now, and I wonder if I will still keep in touch with wenxin and cath once I graduated from the club also. Ok, sad isnt it? But that's how relationship works. If we don't keep in contact, we will all become stranger soon. 

Yes, and counting, I only had that few friends actually. (and Im seriously glad I've them still. haha, darlings... u noe who u're xD)

Im not emo-ing back it just occurs to me when I saw classmate when I gt back to school on tues. We said 'Hi' and 'long time no see'. Well, That's it. We're all going on separate way again. No matter how close we once were, the connection in us is gone alr... and well, I dont exactly like the past either. So well, let's see if we're fated to be more than classmates then.

i do hope so, seriously.

Hols are close to an end! So after being seriously dead BORED for the whole period ever since the training camp, i finally head out of my shell and off to town today! Then I realise, from today onwards... yes, from TODAY onwards, I'm gonna be dead BUSY. =.=

alrights, let's talk about how bored am I for the week.  So, I probably did all the junk stuffs the whole of time to entertain myself. Photoshopping, writing, coding, watching videos, idol-ing and idle-ing! ok... 1st, lemme share some random stuffs of my PS-ing! xD

Alright, no doubt. I'm actually showing off here. haha Oh well, I don't have tree to showcase my PS-ing work alr. So yar, lemme be (: See, DBSK new album [Mirotic] is sooo godly hot that I can't resist working on them. Seeeeee, hotter than ever pics! *drools* I'm inspired to create tutorials after creating their artworks in fact. work in progress currently though. but I highly doubt if I can ever complete them. I also went ahead to do several textures from pics I took previously. (Look, I LOVE finding rubbish for myeslf to do even if I know it will cause to me so much torment anyway and this is call 自找 in the end) Nvm, goodwill offering to the community then, haha. if only someone could really buy down all my design, i would be rich! and I can't believe I keep on missing out competition to join because I'm dont really give a damn to commerical stuff in the 1st place =.= but well...hahaha, like as if I will win anything. Maybe just a milo tin la, lols. The last 2 artworks was a collab with vann. I suggest working on something tgt since we both have different style in work. In the first pic, I did the 1st part and vann did the 2nd part. Then it's e reverse way arond in the 2nd pic. See the contrasting difference in personal style alr? It would be best to see the before and after pic la. Vann changed my works to hers and I changed her works to mine! Playing with vann's godly artwork is really fun anyway, let's doing again! Muhahaha~ 

enough of my photoshop craze. I'm pretty much a hopeless addict as everyone knows. Let's talk about writing then. I probably did the most writing during the whole period. Purple was something really emo and difficult to write and that the only one out so far that I have to be more professional to go about. As much as I like to write like my fave chinese author, there's still limit to my language proficiency=( Also wrote out a chapter of HK2 over the weekend. It's totally embarrassing to read back what I have wrote a year ago! Damn dulian for all the stuffs written in it. haha, well...HK2 is like a mirror that reflect your past self and and changes in you. Well, 1 and a half year isn't for nth and it's totally amazing. Then I talk about the abandoned collab of gdday with mintzzy recently. I thought the writing rocks so much back then (lols!) but i realise the language actually sucks alot when I re-read the chapters again! See, past are haunting me again!! lols~

Ok, next rants... would be videos! Finally watched Fated to Love You over this hols! Completed gt me going. The show got me crying! See, so powerful la== well, that prove that I'm still a normal teenager. hahaha! err, highly recommended to watch. lols! Finally watched Sky of Love, which everyone said the show is a real tears-driver. Susanne also insist on sending the show for me, like before the exam. Ok, the real reason I watch the show only till now is because I finally know how to open the movie format via my classic window player!!!See, I might appear to be tech savy in front of others with my skills in PSing or coding etc... but I'm actually retarded in many computer things! Fine, I admit that that I dunno how to print paper from printer, I dunno how to open dvd file with a player, I dunno how to use a harddrive also and i also failed my access time too. lols... even myself is laughing at such stupidity la== Nvm about that, I shall continue to talk about Sky of Love. It's totally disappointing to me. 1st, sus sent me the duel version which play BOTH chinese and Jap version TGT (or maybe just that I dunno how to switch off the duel sound) and they gt 3 huge subtitles covering like almost 1/3 or the screen alr, totally stupid also right? irritating. 2nd... OMG. totally cliche plot. and it's not even sweet in the first place! U tell me how sweet can rape, miscarriage and getting cancer be? It's like the only movie that I keep on swearing to my comp in fact. Dammit, they're actually contaminate the school library! So sick and wrong! I hate morally wrong story anyway. haha. Part 2 should be better and more touching... but only if I have gt too bored in the night and decide to watch it. haha, better drive some tears out this time round manx. lols

I guess I shall end this post. and yucks, have to retype some part of the post because of the html rule in blogger. Seriously, dumb la. The theme is 'It a boring life', remember? I blog about Marina Camp soon hopefully. wees~